Posted on 08/24/2005 4:34:23 AM PDT by genefromjersey
The 700 Remington *Club
(Music up : Choir hums “Onward Christian Soldiers “ )
A hush falls over the tele-congregation as the Reverend Remington – resplendent in his clerical robes – walks slowly to the pulpit : his head bowed in prayer.
He stand there for a moment in perfect silence, then speaks.
Reverend Remington : Brothers and Sisters , listen . Listen to the words ah have to say to you. Listen to the Voice of the Lord !
Choir: Ah-men-n-n-n-n-n-n-n
Reverend Remington : Ah have just finished speaking with ----Heee-imm.
Ah asked Heee-imm : “Lord, Lord, what shall we do ?
What shall we do with this Godless heathen in Venezuela ??
Lord , what shall we do with this Ooo-go Chavez ?”
Congregation : Oh, Lord ! What shall we do ? Oh-oh !
Reverend Remington : And the Lord answered me ! The Lord said ,
“What’s this “ Ooo-go “ stuff , boy ? You some kinda RC greaser now ?
Maybe got you a greaser girlfriend on the side ?
Talk American to me, boy !”
Choir : (Hums: “America the Beautiful” )
Reverend Remington : So ah did.
Ah talked American.
Ah talked American to the Lord - just like ah’m talkin’ to you.
An ah said,”Lord, that Hew-go Chavez is plumb vexatious , an’ a trial to the good Christian people of this nation.
He thanks. He thanks, cuz he’s got a li’l oil on his land ?
He thanks he can make good Christian people jump through hoops to get it “
Congregation : “ Thass right ! “ “ Tell it !”
Reverend Remington : Ah’m gonna tell you just what the Lord’s answer was-but first, we’re gonna take up a special collection.
Choir: (Begins humming: “ Bringing in the Sheaves”)
Reverend Remington : Ah don’t want to give anything away, but we’re gonna call this the HIT HUGO fund , an’ if you thank the Lord suggested hirin’ some beaner what’s good with a rifle to take that sucker out ------
Be sure to have your credit card handy when you see that 800 number on your screen !
Choir : Hall-e-lujah ! Hall-e-lujah ! Hall-e-lu-u-u-u-a-jah !
* 700 Remington is a registered trade name for a line of heavy duty , long range rifles marketed under the Remington brand name.
What is this?
"What is this?"
For laughs.
Where are the rest of the 658 minutes?
Typical anti-Southern, anti-Christian garbage from a typical DA DU yankee from the Peoples Republic of New Jersey (proud home of former Governor McSleezy). STFU idiot.
OOPs -- let me recalculate.
Make that, where are the remaining 41,998 minutes?
Not very Christian of you, brother. ;)
I love my Remington 700. There are many like it, but that one is mine. Long distance calling!
Aw.... Was I mean to poor Marion ?
Gee ! Here's a fellow so tight with the Lord he steers hurricanes away; so dedicated to charity he's worth somewhere between $200 million and 1 billion; who puts that charity money to good use-like a diamond mining operation,and a Liberian gold mine; who says we ought to be nice to Charles Taylor and his Lord's Army; who agrees with Jerry Falwell that 9/11 was caused by pagans, abortionists,feminists,lesbians,and the ACLU - then says well, maybe he misunderstood him.
But, he CALLS himself a Christian, so he must be one, right ?
So I'm a sinner...
Aren't we all?
I'm not a turn-the-other-cheek kind of believer, but rather, as the current Marine Corps saying goes (I am a former Marine, so I don't mind using my fellow Marines words), paraphrased... I am either your best friend, or your worst enemy.
I am tired of arrogant, atheistic Yankees using sporadic comments by certain white Southern Christian leaders, to then turn around and bash all white Southern Christians, and our regional accents.
In this case, Pat's comments are harsh, but on target.
Just think if our military and political leaders had the will and the capability to take out Hitler BEFORE WWII? Don't you think that would have been a GOOD thing?
Apparently, genefromjoisey doesn't think so. He must be from the Neville Chamberlain wing of the testicle-free Fence-Sitting party (I'm a democrat... wait, no, now I'm a Republican, no, I GUESS I'm a "moderate"... blah, blah, blah...). Semper Fi.
I have rarely "turned the other cheek". Like you, I believe in stopping any threat, real or percieved, dead in it's tracks.
Pat's comments were dead on. Chavez should be pushing up daisies, much like Arafat should have been, but noooooo ... the impotent do gooders had a problem with snake killing.
The basic problem with Pat saying it, is that the terrorist loving, Christian hating media were certainly going to make it big news and use it for ammunition to further their assault on the "wacky, zany, religious right".
As an aside, I didn't have the same take as you on genefromjersey, but then I viewed it as a comedic skit without thinking about the motive behind the post.
I was a Sea Bee from '59 to '62 [Kidde Cruiser] and had some swell times with the Marines. My youngest is a Sergeant, [Twenty Nine Palms] recently back from Iraq and looking forward to getting back there.
If the "leaders" had the balls to turn them loose and do what they do best, the job would have been over.
Semper - Fi
Ol' Pat was a Marine too, did you know that ?
He SAID he was a combat veteran of Korea-but his brother officers said he mostly ran the slop chute: made sure they had plenty of Japanese beer and Korean pogies.
As to Hugo : Yep. I wouldn't mind seeing him out to pasture-or under it-one ; but there are some sentiments better not to express publicly,if you are claiming to be a man of the cloth.
No I didn't, but then I pay as much attention to Pat Robertson as I do Jimmy Swaggart.
I love the fact that Slippery Al Sharpton, Slimeball Jesse Jackson, and the Dis-Honorable Minister Louis Farrakhan, can spew hate, while the lilly white, perverted, so called "MSM" stick one thumb up their rectum and suck the other one (occasionally switching thumbs) murmuring nary a peep at the absurdity, or the blatant racism.
I escaped from Essex County. Where are you, Mr. Lucky? ;)
God bless (this is from the compassionate, Christian side of me!) you and your son for your service. I'll say a prayer or two for his safe return from Iraq on tour #2. I went through Redyeye missile school at 29 Stumps in 1975, so I know it's a real "garden spot". Then again, it's probably a lot nicer than it was then. Some things never change though. I bet your son has run a PFT or two by the water treatment plant, huh? Nothing like that stench to motivate you to run and get past it ASAP! Semper Fi.
Alive and hangin' on in Middlesex County.
Every time I start thinking Citrus County, Florida (population 120 thousand ... yah hoo!) is getting overgrown, I think of good old Essex County and shudder. ;)
Stay well.
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