What If There Are No Adults?

AlbertMohler.Com ^ | Aug 19, 2005 | Albert Mohler

[SLB]

The transition to adulthood used to be one of the main goals of the young. Adulthood was seen to be a status worth achieving and was understood to be a set of responsibilities worth fulfilling. At least, that's the way it used to be. Now, an entire generation seems to be finding itself locked in the grip of eternal youth, unwilling or unable to grow up.

Concern about this phenomenon has been building for some time. Baby-boomer parents are perplexed when their adult-age children move back home, fail to find a job, and appear to be in no hurry to marry. Though the current generation of young adults includes some spectacular exceptions who have quickly moved into the fullness of adult responsibility, the generation as a whole seems to be waiting for something--but who knows what?--to happen.

Frederica Mathewes-Green sees the same phenomenon. In her brilliant essay published in the August/September 2005 edition of First Things, Mathewes-Green describes this new reality with striking clarity.

She begins with the movies. Describing herself as a fan of the old black-and-white classics from the 1930s and 1940s, Mathewes-Green remembers how young actors customarily played the part of mature adults. Actresses like Claudette Colbert and Jean Harlowe were "poised and elegant" onscreen. She notes, "Today even people much older don't have that kind of presence." She then compares Cary Grant with Hugh Grant. The first Grant was "poised and debonair" while the more recent Grant "portrayed a boyish, floppy-haired ditherer till he was forty." She cites reviewer Michael Atkinson, who dubbed today's immature male actors as "toddler-men." As Atkinson describes the distinction, "The conscious contrast between baby-faced, teen-voiced toddler-men movie actors and the Golden Age's grownups is unavoidable."

As Mathewes-Green explains, "Characters in these older movies appear to be an age nobody ever gets to be today. This isn't an observation about the actors themselves (who may have behaved in very juvenile ways privately); rather, it is about the way audiences expected grownups to act." Fast-forwarding to today's Hollywood culture, she observes: "Nobody has that old-style confident authority anymore. We've forgotten how to act like grownups."

Frederica Mathewes-Green is surely correct in seeing this contrast. Gladly, she not only depicts the reality as we now face it--she goes on to explain how we have arrived at such a state of institutionalized immaturity.

As she sees it, "The Baby Boomers fought adulthood every step of the way." In other words, Mathewes-Green points to the parents of this current generation of young adults as the locus of the problem. Speaking of her own generation, she remembers: "We turned blue jeans and T-shirts into the generational uniform. We stopped remembering the names of world political leaders and started remembering the names of movie stars' ex-boyfriends. We stopped participating in fraternal service organizations and started playing video games. We Boomers identified so strongly with being 'the younger generation' that now, paunchy and gray, we're bewildered. We have no idea how to be the older generation. We'll just have to go on being a cranky, creaky appendix to the younger one."

Mathewes-Green's analysis pushes back even further than the baby boomers. She blames the parents of the baby boomers for trying to protect that generation from the realities of a cruel world and a hard life. Having fought and survived the great trial of World War II, they wanted to protect their own young children. "They wanted their little ones never to experience the things they had," Mathewes-Green explains, "never to see such awful sights. Above all, they wanted to protect their children's innocence."

Mathewes-Green is a writer of great ability. Her picturesque imagery makes her point with poetic force. She describes the days "when large families lived together in very small houses" and when "paralyzed or senile family members were cared for at home." When the realities of life were not hidden away, institutionalized, and sanitized, children grew up understanding that life itself is a trial and that adulthood requires a willingness to grow up, take responsibility, fend for oneself, and fight for one's own.

In summary, Mathewes-Green believes that the parents of the 1950s "confused vulnerability with moral innocence. They failed to understand that children who were always encouraged to be childish would jump at the chance and turn childishness into a lifelong project. These parents were unprepared to respond when their children acquired the bodies of young adults and behaved with selfishness, defiance, and hedonism."

In her historical analysis, the parents of the baby boomers attempted to separate childhood and adulthood into two completely separate compartments of life. Childhood would be marked by innocence and adulthood by responsibility. As Mathewes-Green warns: "Be careful what you wish for." Missing from this picture is a period of urgent transition that would turn the child into an adult. What we face now is a generation of children in the bodies of adults.

Understanding the reality of the problem is a first step towards recovery. Nevertheless, mere description is insufficient as an answer to this crisis.

In days gone by, children learned how to be adults by living, working, and playing at the parents' side. The onset of age twelve or thirteen meant that time was running out on childhood. Traditional ceremonies like the Jewish Bar Mitzvah announced that adulthood was dawning. This point would be clearly understood by the young boy undergoing the Bar Mitzvah. "By the time his body was fully formed, he would be expected to do a full day's work. He could expect to enter the ranks of full-fledged grownups soon after and marry in his late teens. Childhood was a swift passageway to adulthood, and adulthood was a much-desired state of authority and respect."

Today's patterns of schooling do not, in the main, appear to produce a similar result. Instead, the educational process continues to coddle, reassure, and affirm young people without regard to their assumption of adult responsibilities. This approach, Mathewes-Green explains, prepares children "for a life that doesn't exist."

When a generation is continuously told that its options are limitless, its abilities are boundless, and its happiness is central, why should we be surprised that reality comes as such a difficult concept?

Mathewes-Green points to the delay of marriage as the most interesting indicator of what is happening. As she notes, the average first marriage now unites a bride age 25 with a groom age 27. "I'm intrigued by how patently unnatural that is," Mathewes-Green observes. "God designed our bodies to desire to mate much earlier, and through most of history cultures have accommodated that desire by enabling people to wed by their late teens or early twenties. People would postpone marriage until their late twenties only in cases of economic disaster or famine--times when people had to save up in order to marry."

Is the current generation of young adults too immature to marry? Mathewes-Green insists that if this is the case, it is only because the older generation has been telling them they are too immature to marry. Does early marriage lead to disaster? Mathewes-Green is ready to prescribe a dose of reality. "Fifty years ago, when the average bride was twenty, the divorce rate was half what it is now, because the culture encouraged and sustained marriage."

Look carefully at how she describes the personal impact produced by this pattern of delayed marriage: "During those lingering years of unmarried adulthood, young people may not be getting married, but they're still falling in love. They fall in love, and break up, and undergo terrible pain, but find that with time they get over it. This is true even if they remain chaste. By the time these young people marry, they may have had many opportunities to learn how to walk away from a promise. They've been training for divorce."

Rarely does one article contain so much common sense, moral wisdom, and promise. The way to recovery surely must start with a rediscovery of what adulthood means and a reaffirmation of why it is so important--both for the society and for individuals. Adulthood must be tied to actual, meaningful, and mature responsibilities--most importantly, marriage.

There is reason for hope. Many in this new generation demonstrate a willingness to buck the trend. They are the new pioneers of adulthood, and they will be uniquely qualified to influence their own peers and to reshape our own culture. Taking marriage seriously as a life-long commitment, they will be more inclined to raise children who will understand what it will take to live as adults in our time of confusion. They will understand that eternal youth is not a blessing, but a curse.

For further reading, see Dr. Mohler's commentaries, "The Generation That Won't Grow Up," and "Looking Back at 'The Mystery of Marriage,'" Parts One and Two. Audio of "The Mystery of Marriage" address is available here.

[EQAndyBuzz]

"What If There Are No Adults?"

You have the DNC!!

[KosmicKitty]

Being an adult means one accepts responsibility for the consequences of one's action!!

Seems like one party tends to push an agenda of no personal responsibility.

Do anything you want, whenever you want, and if something bad happens, blame someone else (and call 1-800-Lawyer to get the money you are owed)

[TheForceOfOne]

Star Trek - The "children" of Miri's planet.
Air Date: 10/27/1966
Stardate: 2713.5


The U.S.S. Enterprise answers an old distress signal to find an unnamed planet that is almost an exact duplicate of Earth in the 1960s. A landing party beams down and discovers that 300 years before, the natives of the planet conducted experiments to prolong life, but had instead created a deadly virus. The virus killed all adults by rapid aging and madness. In children, the virus slowed the natural aging process greatly, leaving them in a state of prepubescence for centuries.

There are no adults on the planet, only children, and they survive the best they can without adults to aid them. The landing party contracts the virus, except for Spock, who becomes a carrier of the disease. Until a cure for the disease can be found and created, the landing party is confined to the planet. To return to the U.S.S. Enterprise would mean a rapid spread of the disease. The landing party attempts to make friends with the children, but they vividly remember the horrible deaths of their parents and refuse to have anything to do with them. One of the older children, Miri, falls in love with Kirk and tries to help him with the other children until she begins to see Yeoman Rand as a rival for the captain's affections. Stung, Miri helps Jahn, one of the boys, to lead the children in a campaign to harass the U.S.S. Enterprise crew members. When Kirk tries to reason with the children, he is badly beaten.

One of the older children begins to exhibit symptoms of the disease and Kirk convinces them that they all will get the virus and die horribly, when they finally reach puberty. Using himself as a guinea pig, McCoy creates an antidote from old research notes found in the planet's lab, and finds the cure. The doctor says that the Federation will probably send supervisory personnel to colonize the planet and take care of the children.

[frithguild]

marked

[conservativeharleyguy]

Edward Abbey (somewhat of a leftist loon, but an astute observer of human nature nonetheless) said over 25 years ago that "The biggest problem with America is that there are too many guys, and not enough men".

I have adhered to that philosophy ever since reading that, and have striven to live my life as a Man, and not just "one of the guys".

IMO, the first real step to manhood is the acceptance of responsibility and accountability.

[Polyxene]

Your life echoes my own, Joe, although I am female, and my experiences were in a small town. I had to help my mom around the house, and when I turned 16, I got a job and have been working ever since. My parents made it very clear that when I graduated from college, I was on my own and not to expect anything from them in the way of financial help. And that's the way it was and has been. Sink or swim -- on my own.

[Campion]

Ping and BTTT.

[qam1]

Xer Ping

Ping list for the discussion of the politics and social (and sometimes nostalgic) aspects that directly effects Generation Reagan / Generation-X (Those born from 1965-1981) including all the spending previous generations (i.e. The Baby Boomers) are doing that Gen-X and Y will end up paying for.

Freep mail me to be added or dropped. See my home page for details and previous articles.  

[cinives]

Absolutely, positively, spot on correct. This was my reaction, but you expressed it perfectly.

We are not ALLOWED to let our children take any risks; without risk and the responsibility and consequences that are attendant with that risk, there is no maturity.

[WIladyconservative]

In my observations, I see more "men" coming out of the current generation of soldiers than my own generation (I'm the very tail end of the baby-boom). There is hope!

[NeoCaveman]

You were expecting maybe, Humphery Bogart??????

A society that can't produce a Bogart or a John Wayne is pretty close to doomed.

[weegee]

Mathewes-Green points to the delay of marriage as the most interesting indicator of what is happening. As she notes, the average first marriage now unites a bride age 25 with a groom age 27. "I'm intrigued by how patently unnatural that is," Mathewes-Green observes. "God designed our bodies to desire to mate much earlier, and through most of history cultures have accommodated that desire by enabling people to wed by their late teens or early twenties. People would postpone marriage until their late twenties only in cases of economic disaster or famine--times when people had to save up in order to marry."

Why buy the cow when you can milk the neighbor's cow for free?

The sexual revolution ushered in a "quick fix" for carnal desires. Add to that no fault divorce. Society is emotionally stunted.

[hobbes1]

I always dug Bogart. The only John Wayne film that i really liked was The Quiet Man.

[Gefreiter]

c,
I couldn't agree more.

Stepping up and doing what needs to be done is as much a character trait as it is a physical task.

Doesn't mean we're always successful of course. But f*cking it up and learning how not to do it are also part of maturing.

[Smokin' Joe]

If you never screwed up, well, then you sure haven't done very much!

[varyouga]

Everything about this article makes me think of the DUmmies and their constant whining. Maybe this article explains the "Root Cause^TM" of DUmmie-ism.

[Iris7]

I think the author is trivializing an important reality. The present rejection of adulthood is a rejection of adult responsibility, not a rejection of adult power.

Toddlers reject responsibility and endlessly attempt to be powerful. Human nature desires power over others but without responsibility for them. Humans desire love from another while have power over him or her. People want to be powerful AND loved, and by the same person at the same time. This does not happen in real life but is the very stuff of fantasy, the very essence of lust, of pornography, of "homosexuality".

Throughout the ages humans have been this way. They lust for power and abhor responsibility. Their heart's desire is "to be as gods", to personally decide the difference between good and evil. Power.

This Raeder guy, the fellow who called himself "TBK", shows the truth of my statement. Power over others was, is, his heart's desire. But notice that yesterday at his trial he was greatly distressed that his victim's families do not love him.

Please notice that I am describing original sin.

[brownsfan]

"My parents made it very clear that when I graduated from college, I was on my own and not to expect anything from them in the way of financial help. And that's the way it was and has been. Sink or swim -- on my own."

We have an odd society now. Parents use their kids as status symbols. Rather than thinking what's best for the kids, they "do" for them, and make sure everyone knows. Private schools, great vacations, lessons in everything, all the best toys.

I'm old school. We have 3 kids. For the first 16 years of marriage, we were 1 income, I worked my tail off outside the home, she worked hers off at home. My kids got what they needed, but not all they wanted. Our home was modest, our vacations were simple, camping, amusement parks, etc.

But there is huge pressure to "give more", to try to keep your kids up with the Joneses. Even though we weren't poor, at times we were made to feel like bottom feeders. Probably had to do with the guilt that others felt because their kids had no one at home when they came home from school, mine did.
Now, college age, my first went to a tech school and is a computer tech. I made him pay about 30% of his school bill. Partly because I just couldn't afford it, and partly because, it was his school, I don't owe that to him. My parents raised me that way. For college, they helped a little, but most of it was on me. It was clear, once I was 18, I was owed nothing.
Now, my wife works outside the home, we have a little more money, and my 2nd child is going to college. She commutes. I could afford to pay 100% but I refuse. She's getting loans, and I'm paying some. I paid 50% of her first semester. She did ok but not great, so I'm paying about 50% of the 2nd semester. If she brings her grades up, maybe I'll pay a bit more on the 3rd semster, she knows this. I don't owe her a college education. She needs to be on the hook for this to know that it's not just a party.
When people hear how I'm handling it, they look at me like I'm an abusive parent. I was strict with my kids, hardest on the first, (a textbook case). Wouldn't you know, the nicest, most responsible of the 3 is the first. But, again, I was seen as being horrible to him. Strict, (not abusive, strict), is looked down on in society today.

Society makes being a good parent very, very difficult.

[thoughtomator]

Though the current generation of young adults includes some spectacular exceptions who have quickly moved into the fullness of adult responsibility, the generation as a whole seems to be waiting for something--but who knows what?--to happen.

They're waiting for their boomer parents to die so they can recoup whatever is left of what the boomers stole from them.

[SLB]

When we were kids, we were driving tractors in the fields at 7 (started at 5, but by 7 we could reach all the pedals), I drove a tractor in the county fair parade at 9. I was already driving, but dad thought I needed to be a tad older for the parade.taking our own boat fishing, hunting deer by 10 (shot my first whitetail at 11), At 12 I was hunting legally as that was the minimum age for a license. At 14 I could hunt by myself and did so. driving trucks around the farm by 12, My dad drove a truck from Dodge Center, Mn to Wyoming in 1927 when he was 9. My grandparents were moving, and since he was the oldest he drove the truck and my grandfather drove the car. working heavy construction and junior members of the Volunteer Fire Department by 14, Full members of the Fire Dept at 16 and running ambulance calls if we had the training. At 16 we had our driver's licenses, (14 in some areas), at 18 we could be officers in the Fire Department, albeit few higher than Lieutenant, I was never involved in the local fire dapartment on my own. My dad was the rural assistant chief, so I was just sort of sucked along into it. I usually drove the trucks for grass fires, ran the pumps and was more the maintainer. were planting and cultivating crops, working as watermen or doing a "grown man's" job for a "grown man's" wage, At 15 I was running a farm, two days after i graduated from high school I drove 600 miles and went to work as a rough neck in Montana. some got married, and most had their High School Diploma. We were not counting on another 4 years of college and grad school beyond before we had to earn a living.Didn't go to college until after Vietnam and getting married.

Yep, things were a whole lot different even 35 to 45 years ago.