FReeper Canteen~What Makes You Laugh?~July 28, 2005~

July 27, 2005 | bentfeather

[Soaring Feather]

For the freedom you enjoyed yesterday...
Thank the Veterans who served in The United States Armed Forces.

Looking forward to tomorrow's freedom?
Support The United States Armed Forces Today!

Good morning TROOPS!!
What makes you laugh??
Post your funny cartoons, jokes, anything you enjoy!

This one always cracks me up!

You Might Be A Soldier If..

Silly cartoon characters??

What tickles your funny bone??
A good joke, funny cartoons, a practical joker?

Computer humor?

"Why We Love Kids"

I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!"

2. HONESTY

My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it in the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said with a charming little smile, "We better throw this one out too then, cause it fell in the toilet a few days ago."

3. OPINIONS

On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents."

4. KETCHUP

A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang, so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. "It's the minister, Mommy," the child said. Then she added, "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle."

5. MORE NUDITY

A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"

6. POLICE # 1

While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, "Are you a cop?" "Yes," I answered and continued writing the report. "My mother said if I ever needed help, I should ask the police. Is that right?" "Yes, that's right," I told her. "Well, then," she said as she extended her foot toward me, "would you please tie my shoe?"

7. POLICE # 2

It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. "Is that a dog you got back there?" he asked. "It sure is," I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, "What'd he do?"

8. ELDERLY

While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"

9. DRESS-UP

A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit." "And why not, darling?" "You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning."

10. DEATH

While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: "Glory be unto the Faaaaaather, and unto the Sonnn, and into the hole he gooooes."

11. SCHOOL

A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write and they won't let me talk."

12. BIBLE

A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. "Mama, look what I found," the boy called out. "What have you got there, dear?" With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear."

bentfeather

[Common Tator]

WE went to Fort Knox to visit the Patton Museum over the week end. It was fun.

Click here to see pictures from Patton Museum.

Since this is joke day, I did come up with t T shirt idea. Since Knox is the home of Armor, I want to get a T shirt with the picture of a tank and the following words.

I went to Fort Knox and Got Tanked!

[StarCMC]

I don't like brussels sprouts. I am just learning to like broccoli, but I like the stem end and not the leafy end...unlike everyone else I know! I hate asparagus. I like yellow squash and zucchini if it's sauteed - I hate it mushy. I like peppers and I LOVE onions....

Shall I continue with my confessions??

[Kathy in Alaska]

Yikes, cb!!

[StarCMC]

COOL!!!! Someday I hope to see that museum!! We always hit the Air museums, but I've never been to a tank museum!!

[HopeandGlory]

Yikes . . that is one butt ugly kid . . . LOL!!!

[Kathy in Alaska]

The leaves are good with warm melted butter.

[StarCMC]

Nope. Not gonna do it.

*G*

[Lady Jag]

Thank you, men in the Military and the Canteen!

[Kathy in Alaska]

Hi, Tator! Hi, Lisa!

Thanks for the field trip.

[Kathy in Alaska]

I don't like brussels sprouts. I am just learning to like broccoli, but I like the stem end and not the leafy end...unlike everyone else I know! I hate asparagus. I like yellow squash and zucchini if it's sauteed - I hate it mushy. I like peppers and I LOVE onions....

I don't like any of them! LOL!

[Kathy in Alaska]

Hiya Hope. How does your garden grow? Do the grapes get to grow this year?

[Kathy in Alaska]

Oh no....a 3 hour power outage!!!!! ((HUGS)) Glad all is well.

[Common Tator]

There was retired marine there who was answering questions for visitors.

He said that Patton before he died sent back a large amount of German weapons.. including tanks, rifles, anti tank and artillery pieces. They are all on display as well as all the weapons and uniforms used by the 3rd Army in WWII. Patton wanted to have our troops use them. He felt we could learn from using other nations weapons... both what to do and what not to do in weapon design.

In addition there are American and Russian tanks and anti tank weapons from Korea to the present day.

They had just brought back from Iraq a Russian T-72 tank. The Iraqi's had rerouted the exhaust from the rear of the tank to the front so the exhaust would not blow up sand and give the tanks position away.

With with the warthogs and infrared.. there is no way for a Russian tank to hide in Iraq.

The Marine made the case that much of what Patton did with tanks was very similar to what Stonewall Jackson did with Cavalry in the Civil War. The Marine used a sand table to show the similarity of what Patton did in France to what Stonewall did in Virginia. It was quite interesting.

The Patton Museum is not nearly as big as the Air Force Museum.. but it is very interesting.

I think you would enjoy it.

[HiJinx]

Wow are you having a great time! You have some awesome cousins, Diva...it's great how they and the neighbors have figured out how to take care of you...as if you really needed any taking care of!

Do you think your friend up the street can replace the starter in a '93 Dodge Dakota? Will he come pick it up and tow it back there for me? No...? Oh well, worth a try.

Say hi to everyone for us. Piper does likewise!

[BIGLOOK]

And ends on Friday. Gotta sign off on the end of pay period time sheets......and look forward to the week end!

[AZamericonnie]

Very neat cyber trip to the patton Museum. Kinda seemed like there was an emphasis on Elvis. Hi Lisa!

Your t-shirt idea is a good one....it reminded me of a sign on one of the freeways out here..."Drive hammered, Get nailed!" lol

[Lady Jag]

LOL --You're a nut.

It is way more preferable!   Reality is okay in small doses, but as a lifestyle, it's much too confining.

[BIGLOOK]

Wearing sunglasses aren't ya, Night Owl!

Actually we did catch a half ton of fish........all small fry. Had to toss 'em back (except for some big channel cats).

The way I see it, Michigan fishermen owe me Big Time for fattening up their stock!

[SandRat]

Now I'm home to grill up burgers for supper. Was greeted with "The Lawn Mower is broke!" So I know what I'm doing Sat. Just finished putting the Honey Oak stain on a child's chair I've been working on so I can varnish it Sat.

[Lady Jag]