FReeper Canteen~What Makes You Laugh?~July 28, 2005~

July 27, 2005 | bentfeather

[Soaring Feather]

For the freedom you enjoyed yesterday...
Thank the Veterans who served in The United States Armed Forces.

Looking forward to tomorrow's freedom?
Support The United States Armed Forces Today!

Good morning TROOPS!!
What makes you laugh??
Post your funny cartoons, jokes, anything you enjoy!

This one always cracks me up!

You Might Be A Soldier If..

Silly cartoon characters??

What tickles your funny bone??
A good joke, funny cartoons, a practical joker?

Computer humor?

"Why We Love Kids"

I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!"

2. HONESTY

My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it in the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said with a charming little smile, "We better throw this one out too then, cause it fell in the toilet a few days ago."

3. OPINIONS

On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents."

4. KETCHUP

A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang, so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. "It's the minister, Mommy," the child said. Then she added, "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle."

5. MORE NUDITY

A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"

6. POLICE # 1

While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, "Are you a cop?" "Yes," I answered and continued writing the report. "My mother said if I ever needed help, I should ask the police. Is that right?" "Yes, that's right," I told her. "Well, then," she said as she extended her foot toward me, "would you please tie my shoe?"

7. POLICE # 2

It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. "Is that a dog you got back there?" he asked. "It sure is," I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, "What'd he do?"

8. ELDERLY

While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"

9. DRESS-UP

A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit." "And why not, darling?" "You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning."

10. DEATH

While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: "Glory be unto the Faaaaaather, and unto the Sonnn, and into the hole he gooooes."

11. SCHOOL

A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write and they won't let me talk."

12. BIBLE

A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. "Mama, look what I found," the boy called out. "What have you got there, dear?" With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear."

bentfeather

[beachn4fun]

Hey, Texas Songwriter..............

(p.s. sorry if I've done this before...I'm getting old and KRS)

[StarCMC]

Good morning Beachy!! Sorry that took so long - had to reboot! :o)

[Soaring Feather]

Morning

[beachn4fun]

Good morning, Ms. Feather. I was just reading how you were smacking writer and tomkow straight about Macs.

Plus, I've been trying to catch up on the thread, but I'm not getting my work done!!!

[StarCMC]

Somehow, I believe that!

[beachn4fun]

Ah, come on........what's the worst that can happen?

[StarCMC]

Good morning Queenie!! Thank you for the blue star!! :o)

[Soaring Feather]

LOL

Good morning, TheMom, really funny jokes, thanks much and have a great day.

[beachn4fun]

No problemo.

As for me, I am going back into the thread to hunt that cop car so I can print it out! I want to post that on my desk! Then, I really, really, really have to try and get some work done!

[Soaring Feather]

1978 600,000 attend Watkins Glen Summer Jam in NY
I remember that.What a mess it was.

[Excuse_My_Bellicosity]

OPERATION ENDURING FREEDOM -- Senior Airman William Paull, a boom operator on a KC-135 Stratotanker, refuels a B-52 Stratofortress over a forward-deployed location July 25. Senior Airman Paull is deployed to the 28th Expeditionary Refueling Squadron from the 911th Air Refueling Squadron at Grand Forks Air Force Base, N.D. (U.S. Air Force photo by Staff Sgt. Jocelyn Rich)

050711-N-4374S-001 Pacific Ocean (July 11, 2005) - The guided missile cruiser USS Thomas S. Gates (CG 51) underway in the Pacific Ocean. Thomas S. Gates is part of a multinational naval and coast guard force from six nations conducting UNITAS 46-05 Pacific Phase off the coasts of Colombia. The Colombian Navy in this year’s UNITAS Pacific Phase hosts Ecuador, Panama, Peru and the United States. During the two-week exercise, participating units have the opportunity to train as unified force in all aspects of naval operations, from maritime interdiction to anti-submarine and electronic warfare. U.S. Naval Forces Southern Command sponsors UNITAS exercises with the objective to foster cooperation and develop interoperability among the navies of the region. U.S. Navy photo by Photographer’s Mate 2nd Class Michael Sandberg (RELEASED)

050727-N-3488C-051 Philippine Sea (July 27, 2005) - An F/A-18F Super Hornet, assigned to the "Diamondbacks" of Strike Fighter Squadron One Zero Two (VFA-102), breaks the sound barrier during a fly-by over the conventionally powered aircraft carrier USS Kitty Hawk (CV 63). Kitty Hawk and embarked Carrier Air Wing Five (CVW-5) are currently conducting operations in the Philippine Sea. U.S. Navy photo by Photographer's Mate 3rd Class Jonathan Chandler (RELEASED)

050726-N-8213G-031 Pacific Ocean (July 26, 2005) - The guided-missile destroyer USS McCampbell (DDG 85) prepares to go alongside the Nimitz-class aircraft carrier USS Ronald Reagan (CVN 76) to conduct a fueling at sea (FAS) as the guided-missile destroyer USS Decatur (DDG 73) waits her turn. Reagan and embarked Carrier Air Wing One Four (CVW-14) are currently underway conducting Tailored Ships Training Availability (TSTA). U.S. Navy photo by Photographer's Mate 3rd Class Konstandinos Goumenidis (RELEASED)

[Soaring Feather]

Good morning, EMB.

Thanks for the great pictures of our troops.

An F/A-18F Super Hornet, assigned to the "Diamondbacks" of Strike Fighter Squadron One Zero Two (VFA-102), breaks the sound barrier during a fly-by over


Impressive picture.

[Mr. Silverback]

The Good Stuff for 28 July, 2005

The Word
"How long will you lie there, you sluggard? When will you get up from your sleep? A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest- and poverty will come on you like a bandit and scarcity like an armed man."--Proverbs 6:9-11

The Quote
"We are generally the better persuaded by the reasons we discover ourselves than by those given to us by others." --Blaise Pascal

The Joke
Actual headline: War Dims Hope for Peace [I can see where it might have that effect!]

The Hero--Today’s Medal of Honor Recipient

EDGAR R. ASTON

"Night Halt of the Cavalry" by Frederic Remington

Rank and organization: Private, Company L, 8th U.S. Cavalry.
Place and date: At San Carlos, Arizona, 30 May 1868.
Birth: Clermont County, Ohio.
Date of issue: 28 July 1868.
Citation: With 2 other men he volunteered to search for a wagon passage out of a 4,000-foot valley wherein an infantry column was immobile. This small group passed 6 miles among hostile Apache terrain finding the sought passage. On their return trip down the canyon they were attacked by Apaches who were successfully held at bay.

[StarCMC]

Thank you Pvt. EDGAR R. ASTON for your faithful service to our country.

We're starting American History in school this year with the kids -- part 1 of a two year study. I could have chosen the shortened 1 year study, but I personally want to revel in it a little bit more! LOL!!! We are studying the native Americans (Apaches and such) right now.

[Soaring Feather]

Good morning, Mr. Silverback, thank you for The Good Stuff.

[darkwing104]

Good morning Darkwing ~ when's moving day??

Good Morning Star! Are you planning to help?

[Soaring Feather]

Morning EGC!! *HUGS*

[darkwing104]

Good Morning Beachy? Looks like good beach weather this weekend.

[StarCMC]

I doubt you want to wait until Spring Break when I'll be back in the area again! LOL

[El Gran Salseron]

They no longer have Kung Fu Theater but the martial arts movies still play.....usually with captions or dubbed English and on Channel 20 now, not 26.