FReeper Canteen~What Makes You Laugh?~July 28, 2005~

July 27, 2005 | bentfeather

[Soaring Feather]

For the freedom you enjoyed yesterday...
Thank the Veterans who served in The United States Armed Forces.

Looking forward to tomorrow's freedom?
Support The United States Armed Forces Today!

Good morning TROOPS!!
What makes you laugh??
Post your funny cartoons, jokes, anything you enjoy!

This one always cracks me up!

You Might Be A Soldier If..

Silly cartoon characters??

What tickles your funny bone??
A good joke, funny cartoons, a practical joker?

Computer humor?

"Why We Love Kids"

I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!"

2. HONESTY

My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it in the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said with a charming little smile, "We better throw this one out too then, cause it fell in the toilet a few days ago."

3. OPINIONS

On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents."

4. KETCHUP

A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang, so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. "It's the minister, Mommy," the child said. Then she added, "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle."

5. MORE NUDITY

A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"

6. POLICE # 1

While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, "Are you a cop?" "Yes," I answered and continued writing the report. "My mother said if I ever needed help, I should ask the police. Is that right?" "Yes, that's right," I told her. "Well, then," she said as she extended her foot toward me, "would you please tie my shoe?"

7. POLICE # 2

It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. "Is that a dog you got back there?" he asked. "It sure is," I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, "What'd he do?"

8. ELDERLY

While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"

9. DRESS-UP

A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit." "And why not, darling?" "You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning."

10. DEATH

While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: "Glory be unto the Faaaaaather, and unto the Sonnn, and into the hole he gooooes."

11. SCHOOL

A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write and they won't let me talk."

12. BIBLE

A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. "Mama, look what I found," the boy called out. "What have you got there, dear?" With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear."

bentfeather

[beachn4fun]

(((HUUUGS))) EG. Going ok so far. My keyboard is acting up so right now I'm shopping for a new one. Other than that, just regular work.

Whatz up with you?

[E.G.C.]

Uh oh. Sorry to hear about your computer problems. Hopefully you can get that worked out.

Not much happening. We did pick up an inch and a quarter of rain Tuesday night. It's nice now but it's going to get hot again this weekend.

[beachn4fun]

Good morning back atcha, Darkwing.

[beachn4fun]

LOL.....now that makes me laugh!

[beachn4fun]

Good morning, Star

[beachn4fun]

Good morning, Valin. You can come out from under the bed now. It's safe!

[beachn4fun]

Good morning, acad.

[beachn4fun]

Good morning, Tom

[beachn4fun]

Good morning, Tom

[beachn4fun]

Good morning, Tom

[Soaring Feather]

Morning beachn, BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

[beachn4fun]

Hey, mmercier..............

[Soaring Feather]

Dear Tomkow,

I won the lotto, yessireeeeeee
no more Burka Salesmen for me.
Diamonds and Rubies strung
head to toe... Hey just think
I'll be my own traveling, glitter show.


XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Love, ms feather

[beachn4fun]

Hey, cspackler.............

[Soaring Feather]

Oh, it has been in the Canteen Family Scrapbook for a long time. (I think blackie taught Tom to read Playboy) .....hehehehehehehe....

[Soaring Feather]

Good morning, darkwing. What makes you laugh??

[Soaring Feather]

Good morning, acad. Thanks for Da Blues.

[beachn4fun]

ROTFLOL..........I love that cop car!!!! That made me laugh!

[beachn4fun]

p.s and your tagline, too!

[Valin]

WHAT! Are you kidding!
Riots on the road to hell

http://www.chronicle-future.co.uk/2030/2030-1.html

20.07.30: WORLDWIDE traffic chaos gridlocked every major city today as the Global Integrated Traffic Guidance System (GITGS) collapsed.

Irate motorists were forced to abandon state-controlled transport pods and walk.

Riots broke out in urban centres. Unmanned aerial vehicles (UAVs) were able to pinpoint areas of civil unrest but ground-based police failed to gain access to quell the looting.

State monitoring of the use and manufacture of all vehicles has long been held as the only practical means of managing worsening traffic congestion. Successive governments have sought to persuade individuals out of their cars by removing pride of ownership from the equation. But even though modern cars are no more than uniform transport modules - all function and no style - there is still a reluctance to abandon the personal environment and perceived freedom of an individual transport pod for the convenience of the shared mass-transit system.

But far from giving freedom, today's compact hydrogen-powered transport modules, which are hired by the hour or kilometre when needed and are accessed using retinal-ID systems, actually represent the removal of the freedom that made motor cars so attractive.

Minutely controlled by a system of global satellite-guided integrated autopilot programs, they navigate themselves and require no input from a "driver". Development of the sort of dynamic route-guidance technology first pioneered by Debis Systemhaus in Tokyo in 1997 allows the traveller simply to enter his or her destination by voice command, leaving the system to plan the best route and monitor progress.

The system prevents bunching on highways, helps travellers avoid the worst inner-city congestion and reduces fatal accidents by eradicating driver error.

When introduced, GITGS promised a ride to enjoy. But the collapse of the core computer has revealed the system's inherent vulnerability. Some blame a new computer virus for the catastrophic global lockout; others prefer terrorist conspiracy theories.

Either way, with a transport system entirely dependent on an apparently defunct external guidance and control mechanism, and with no conceivable manual override option available, a workable solution does not seem close at hand. DL