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FReeper Canteen~What Makes You Laugh?~July 28, 2005~
July 27, 2005 | bentfeather

Posted on 07/27/2005 7:36:35 PM PDT by Soaring Feather


For the freedom you enjoyed yesterday...
Thank the Veterans who served in The United States Armed Forces.

Looking forward to tomorrow's freedom?
Support The United States Armed Forces Today!

Good morning TROOPS!!
What makes you laugh??
Post your funny cartoons, jokes, anything you enjoy!


This one always cracks me up!


You Might Be A Soldier If..


Silly cartoon characters??

What tickles your funny bone??
A good joke, funny cartoons, a practical joker?




Computer humor?


"Why We Love Kids"



I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!"


2. HONESTY

My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it in the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said with a charming little smile, "We better throw this one out too then, cause it fell in the toilet a few days ago."

3. OPINIONS


On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents."

4. KETCHUP

A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang, so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. "It's the minister, Mommy," the child said. Then she added, "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle."

5. MORE NUDITY

A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"

6. POLICE # 1

While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, "Are you a cop?" "Yes," I answered and continued writing the report. "My mother said if I ever needed help, I should ask the police. Is that right?" "Yes, that's right," I told her. "Well, then," she said as she extended her foot toward me, "would you please tie my shoe?"

7. POLICE # 2

It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. "Is that a dog you got back there?" he asked. "It sure is," I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, "What'd he do?"

8. ELDERLY

While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"

9. DRESS-UP

A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit." "And why not, darling?" "You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning."

10. DEATH

While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: "Glory be unto the Faaaaaather, and unto the Sonnn, and into the hole he gooooes."

11. SCHOOL

A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write and they won't let me talk."

12. BIBLE

A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. "Mama, look what I found," the boy called out. "What have you got there, dear?" With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear."


bentfeather



TOPICS: Culture/Society; Extended News; Free Republic
KEYWORDS: 954; airforce; army; bethylovestomkow6; coastguard; familysupport; fun; humor; information; marines; militarysupport; nationalguard; navy; piper; veterans
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121 posted on 07/27/2005 8:29:02 PM PDT by GodBlessUSA (US Troops, past, present and future, God Bless You and Thank You! Prayers said for our Heroes!)
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To: Texas Songwriter

Oh, I do love that movie, also. I have the tape. It's so funny.


122 posted on 07/27/2005 8:29:40 PM PDT by Soaring Feather (This Little Light of Mine)
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To: All

Breaking news off C-span 1 there is report that US senate has vote Draw on infamous CAFTA vote

Developing 209 to 209


123 posted on 07/27/2005 8:30:35 PM PDT by SevenofNine (Not everybody in, it for truth, justice, and the American way,"=Det Lennie Briscoe)
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To: bentfeather

Hi Feather, so good to see you!


124 posted on 07/27/2005 8:30:53 PM PDT by The Mayor ( Pray as if everything depends on God; work as if everything depends on you.)
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To: SevenofNine

Yep, a Five Hour block of Trek every day. The First season or two of TNG was tough to bear (there were a few good episodes, but many were mediocre), but it did improve after that rocky period. I really enjoyed DS9 because it was more like classic Trek.


125 posted on 07/27/2005 8:30:54 PM PDT by Army Air Corps (Four fried chickens and a coke)
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To: laurenmarlowe; Smartass; GodBlessUSA; All

God bless our Military!
For all that you do--I salute you!


126 posted on 07/27/2005 8:31:24 PM PDT by luvie (God bless America and God bless and protect our troops!!)
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To: Army Air Corps

"Are You Being Served?"


I have watched every episode of that show and taped them as well. What's the woman's name with the green, pink, orange, hair. Mrs.?? Hilarious.


127 posted on 07/27/2005 8:31:57 PM PDT by Soaring Feather (This Little Light of Mine)
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To: WestVirginiaRebel

It's twooo!!
It's twooo!!


128 posted on 07/27/2005 8:32:20 PM PDT by cspackler (There are 10 kinds of people in this world, those who understand binary and those who don't.)
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To: laurenmarlowe

When I lived in San Antonio, Channel 35 (independent at that time) would air Stooge Theatre for about 2 hours on Saturday mornings and Sundays.


129 posted on 07/27/2005 8:32:40 PM PDT by Army Air Corps (Four fried chickens and a coke)
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To: The Mayor

And you as well, Mayor.


130 posted on 07/27/2005 8:32:43 PM PDT by Soaring Feather (This Little Light of Mine)
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To: Smartass

You recycle beautifully! :o)


131 posted on 07/27/2005 8:33:00 PM PDT by luvie (God bless America and God bless and protect our troops!!)
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To: mmercier

Welcome to the Canteen, mmercier. Glad you stopped by.


132 posted on 07/27/2005 8:33:18 PM PDT by Kathy in Alaska ((~ www.ProudPatriots.org ~ coming soon ~Operation Semper Fi ~a field hospital~)
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To: bentfeather

Mrs. Slocombe!


133 posted on 07/27/2005 8:33:21 PM PDT by Army Air Corps (Four fried chickens and a coke)
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To: Texas Songwriter

I used to enjoy "Cheers" in the early days.


134 posted on 07/27/2005 8:33:54 PM PDT by Soaring Feather (This Little Light of Mine)
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To: bentfeather
Did you know that Nicholson got an honor bestowed upon him from the National Obcessive-Compulsive Society for his depiction of Melvin Udall in that movie. His portral was remarkable. Helen Hunt was also great.

Another thing that makes me laugh are some of the Freepers who come up with some of the most unusual comments. They are a treasure trove for those of us who love the language.

135 posted on 07/27/2005 8:34:13 PM PDT by Texas Songwriter
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To: Army Air Corps

Yupper!! What a hoot!


136 posted on 07/27/2005 8:34:36 PM PDT by Soaring Feather (This Little Light of Mine)
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To: WestVirginiaRebel

"Sir! The peasants are revolting!"

"You ain't kiddin', they stink on ice..."

(I know, wrong movie. But I love it!)


137 posted on 07/27/2005 8:34:39 PM PDT by cspackler (There are 10 kinds of people in this world, those who understand binary and those who don't.)
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To: Smartass

Another very nice one. Could you possibly email that to every liberal in the U.S.A.?

Just kidding SmartA, but you know what I mean.


138 posted on 07/27/2005 8:36:42 PM PDT by potlatch (Does a clean house indicate that there is a broken computer in it?)
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To: LUV W

Beautiful tribute LUV, thank you. {{HUGS}}


139 posted on 07/27/2005 8:37:04 PM PDT by laurenmarlowe
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To: Texas Songwriter
No, I don't think I knew that about Nicholson. He is a very good actor. Agree about Helen Hunt, also. She did a superb job.


Oh my gosh, FReepers are the funniest folks I have come across.
140 posted on 07/27/2005 8:37:16 PM PDT by Soaring Feather (This Little Light of Mine)
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