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SUVs : The Death of the Dinosaurs (Vanity)
grey_whiskers | 7-17-2005 | grey_whiskers

Posted on 07/17/2005 1:25:15 PM PDT by grey_whiskers

Let me be the first to predict the imminent death of the SUV's as a preferred form of transportation. This is not because the drivers are Starbucks-sipping yuppie scum, nor because they are chain-smoking over-the-hill-trophy wives, nor because they are preoccupied with their cell phones (though these are all true).

It is because the SUV's, despite their name, are not SPORT utility vehicles, but specialty UTILITY vehicles, good for ferrying half of a boy scout troop, or hauling home several months' salary worth of goods from Best Buy or from Home Depot in a single trip. In other words, they are large, lumbering, and specialized. Just like the dinosaurs. And like the dinosaurs, when the environment to which they have laboriously adapted changes--when their ecosystem changes—they will go extinct.

Just what is it that will spell the end of these suburban monsters? I used to think it was a spike in gas prices: surely no one can continue driving an 8- or 12- mpg beast in the face of $2.00+ per gallon charges at the pump. But I was wrong. These vehicles are status symbols. They are not Babe Mobiles, like a BMW roadster; these are what you buy after you have landed the babe and she has domesticated you, when you want to impress other couples. I have heard a yuppie explain this very point, when asked why he didn't abandon his new Durango, even though he was burning two gallons of gas a day, just commuting to work. "That's not the statement I'm trying to make." The automakers (even with 0% financing) must need supercomputers just to count their lease payments. And the “now all customers can have the employee discount” sales aren’t helping either.

Well, if it isn't gas, what will spell the end of the SUV? I think the answer is, when they outlive their natural utility (no pun intended). What are the SUV's used for, really? Certainly not (except maybe the Xterra or Hummer) for serious off-road work. They cost too much to buy, and you don't want to damage a leased vehicle! As noted earlier, SUV's excel at hauling around small people, buying stuff at Home Depot, and impressing the neighbors. When will these functions die off?

Let us remember that ever since the 60's, the vanguard of every cultural movement has been the baby boomers--from rock 'n roll, through Doonesbury, to career women, and SUV's. Boomers have delayed parenthood until late in their lives; now they have children at the same time as they have money. Boomers like a large house, they want a large vehicle to carry the furniture and hardware; they use the SUV for soccer practice, piano practice, singing lessons, birthdays, you name it.

But children grow older; they want their own cars. (How many people really let a 16-year old drive a $40,000 vehicle that they don't even own? And how much is the insurance?) Finally, the children move out. Now there is no need at all for ferrying the children; and the large house out in the 'burbs begins to feel 'empty'…”Honey, maybe we should look into a condominium, or a townhouse?” And as the large house is downsized, there too goes the need for a wheeled dinosaur to haul lumber, furniture, plumbing. The day of the dinosaurs is done. And (by the way) the automakers will have to turn to another guaranteed profit center. Caveat emptor.

(Full disclosure: SUV's are also good for mashing subcompacts under their tires like a dinosaur stomping a frightened rabbit. The author drives a Nissan Sentra. This fact has nothing whatsoever to do with the contents of this article.)


TOPICS: Your Opinion/Questions
KEYWORDS: attackofthedinsaurs; babyboomers; dinsaur; dinsaurs; energy; gasoline; humor; suv; whiskersvanity
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To: Thombo2

Station Wagons were basically outlawed by CAFE standards. Those laws also created SUV's and mini vans. A station wagon is a "car", while an SUV / mini van is a "truck". The standards are less restrictive on "trucks".

Some do-gooders are trying to "close the SUV loophole" and make us all drive tin-plated death traps, so that we don't have to do something drastic like making larger parking spaces or drilling for oil off the shore of California.


161 posted on 07/17/2005 4:04:56 PM PDT by Question Liberal Authority ("There is no terrorist threat! There is no terrorist threat!" - Michael Moore)
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To: Ernest_at_the_Beach

Too many of our friends have had problems with the Excursion. Interesting enough a couple of big guys own the Lincoln Navigator (they are like 6'6") and fit in the Navigators. They are like on their third ones with no problems.

A friend with a bothersome Excursion traded his in for a Honda Passport. We have taken it into some rough 4 wheeling to and from the rivers we fish with no problems. On the road they ride very well.


162 posted on 07/17/2005 4:05:42 PM PDT by Grampa Dave (The MSM is trying to make us believe, Judith Miller is in jail to protect Karl Rove!)
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To: Rushmore Rocks

What is a termite trap?


163 posted on 07/17/2005 4:07:00 PM PDT by Black Tooth
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To: Xenalyte
You said all that and you live in Texas....Geeeezzz!!!

Where do you keep your sword? In the back window maybe....???

164 posted on 07/17/2005 4:07:17 PM PDT by Ernest_at_the_Beach (History is soon Forgotten,)
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To: cousin01
Love your tagline. I live in Arizona...

Cheers!

165 posted on 07/17/2005 4:07:32 PM PDT by grey_whiskers (The opinions are solely those of the author and are subject to change without notice.)
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To: Babu

"The reason this gas crunch is different than gas crunches of the past, such as 73-74, and will have legs, is because of China and India. China and India are huge and successful growing economies, and are net buyers of oil on the world market. They produce little of their own oil. That is what is driving up the worldwide price of oil."

Wait a minute here. Chinese demand for oil has dropped about 19% in the past few weeks. No one is sure why. But lets not assume their economy is always going to grow.


166 posted on 07/17/2005 4:08:12 PM PDT by jbstrick (insert clever tagline here)
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To: cousin01
The politicains are such whores and now they are OURS for the taking. It's going to be great.

lol

167 posted on 07/17/2005 4:08:16 PM PDT by 11Bush (No outstanding felonies, but my life has been one long misdemeanor.)
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To: Ernest_at_the_Beach

About four months ago my Ford Excursion saved my life and the life of my son.

It was a serious accident, which was the fault of the other driver who happened to be high on cocaine, running cocaine, and had no driver's license because it had been suspended several times. Had we been in a smaller vehicle we would have been seriously injured or killed.

My Excursion is large, heavy, and safe, I don't talk on the cell phone while I'm driving, and I'm an excellent, courteous driver. Since it's high-profile, I can also see well and avoid the little cars who zip in and out of traffic around me.

Stupid drivers can be behind the wheel of anything.


168 posted on 07/17/2005 4:08:30 PM PDT by pax_et_bonum
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To: Jim Noble
"I just bought a brand-new Chevy Suburban for my wife and six children."

Amen, brother. As I said to the poster of this piece above, I have seven children. Granted, a few are now out of the nest, but let me tell ya..........YOU just made a terrific purchase.

I've owned dozens of cars over the years, and I'd rate the Chevy Suburban as my second-favorite of them all (my '72 Vette convertible, my first car, is #1.......but I've owned 3 Porsches, Saabs, Volvo, Mazda, 280Z, etc. etc...you name it). I bought mine in '94; it's a '93 and had about 11K miles and was less than a full year old. It's the single best purchase I've ever made. Reliable, tough, unequalled visibility, can haul FAR more than you now imagine, and for families our size........bud, NOTHING beats 'em.

Mine now has over 175K miles and I'll drive it till it collapses. If it was stolen tomorrow, I'd buy another without hesitation. Congrats on your new purchase.

169 posted on 07/17/2005 4:10:08 PM PDT by RightOnline
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To: cousin01

Oh God , I can hardly wait to see the wonderful changes....


170 posted on 07/17/2005 4:10:12 PM PDT by Ernest_at_the_Beach (History is soon Forgotten,)
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To: johnb838

LOL.........yeah, they probably would love to; especially if they knew we (GASP!!!) homeschool 'em.


171 posted on 07/17/2005 4:11:56 PM PDT by RightOnline
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To: pax_et_bonum
Stupid drivers can be behind the wheel of anything.

Amen!

172 posted on 07/17/2005 4:11:58 PM PDT by Ernest_at_the_Beach (History is soon Forgotten,)
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To: durasell
My point being -- my original point -- people who can't easily afford an SUV should think twice about owning or buying one.

Then the SUV is not the issue is it.

It then becomes an issue of "status" -vs- need -vs- affordable wanting.

If one sensibly feels the need to own a vehicle of personal choice that caters to their needs and that person can fulfill the financial obligations of buying such a vehicle, outside of emotional driven, politically correct, misguided dependency by others, to make this decision it boils down to a personal issue doesn't it?

173 posted on 07/17/2005 4:12:51 PM PDT by EGPWS
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To: grey_whiskers

what do you drive my friend?


174 posted on 07/17/2005 4:12:54 PM PDT by jbstrick (insert clever tagline here)
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To: RightOnline
Reliable, tough, unequalled visibility, can haul FAR more than you now imagine, and for families our size........bud, NOTHING beats 'em.

It's my second Suburban, but you're right about all of it.

PLUS, it pisses off all the right people...

175 posted on 07/17/2005 4:13:35 PM PDT by Jim Noble (Resistance to Tyrants is Obedience to God)
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To: grey_whiskers
Dude an Exterra? I eat Exterra's for lunch.

Chevy Tahoe, fully loaded with three people and ALL the gear for a 1 week hunting trip, 18.5 mpg highway at 80 miles per hour. Pulled Exterra's and other foreign wantabe's out of many spots. Oh yea my CJ gets even better mileage - in the back country. I go to the the Nevada outback and I'm not giving up my SUV - nor will my kids give up theirs.

176 posted on 07/17/2005 4:13:58 PM PDT by mad_as_he$$ (Never corner anything meaner than you. NSDQ)
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To: Ernest_at_the_Beach

In the trunk. Don't want the sun to fade the scabbard.


177 posted on 07/17/2005 4:14:40 PM PDT by Xenalyte (Anything is possible when you don't understand how anything happens.)
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To: Jim Noble

LOL........yeah it does, doesn't it? Slap a Bush/Cheney bumper sticker on it and maybe a "Christian fish" on the back and watch it REALLY piss people off. :)


178 posted on 07/17/2005 4:15:12 PM PDT by RightOnline
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To: grey_whiskers

The original SUV...
http://www.wagonmasters.com/complete.htm


179 posted on 07/17/2005 4:15:44 PM PDT by Liberty Valance ( Howdy!)
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To: trillabodilla

I want one, my Chevy Blazer ( the small one ) is getting a bit long in the tooth.


180 posted on 07/17/2005 4:16:42 PM PDT by Ernest_at_the_Beach (History is soon Forgotten,)
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