This chilli is so hot, you'd have to drink 250,000 gallons of water just to put out the fire

"We live in an extreme world," explains Blair Lazar, a hot sauce creator. "And I make extreme foods.' In his hands is the hottest spice in the world, an ultra-refined version of chilli powder so fiery that customers must sign a waiver absolving him of any liability if they are foolish enough to try it.

Locked in a crystal flask sealed with wax and a tiny skull, Mr Lazar's mouth-blistering concoction is pure capsaicin - the chemical that lends habanero and jalapeno peppers their thermo nuclear heat.

Blair Lazar: to taste his sauce is to experience ‘pure heat’ His "16 Million Reserve", which is released to the public this week, is the holy grail of hot sauces, the hottest that chemistry can create.

It is 30 times hotter than the spiciest pepper, the Red Savina from Mexico, and 8,000 times stronger than Tabasco sauce. To put the tiniest speck on the tip of your tongue is to experience "pure heat", Mr Lazar says.

Although capsaicin does not actually burn - it fools your brain into thinking that you are in pain by stimulating nerve endings in your mouth - some medical experts believe that it could kill an asthmatic or hospitalise a user who touched his eyes or other sensitive parts of the anatomy.

Mr Lazar has trained his palate to endure the sensation, but he remembers the moment he dared to taste his "16 Million Reserve".

"The pain was exquisite," he said. "It was like having your tongue hit with a hammer. Man, it hurt. My tongue swelled up and it hurt like hell for days."

The eye-watering qualities of peppers are measured in internationally recognised Scoville units, developed by Wilbur Scoville, an American chemist who, in 1912, asked tasters to evaluate how many parts of sugar water it took to neutralise capsaicin heat.

Today, capsaicin content is measured in parts per million, using a process known as high-performance liquid chromatography; one part being equivalent to 15 Scoville units. Benign bell peppers rate zero Scoville units and the Red Savina entered Guinness World Records at 570,000 units.

Pure capsaicin, meanwhile, has a heat score of 16 million units - inspiring the name for Mr Lazar's latest creation. Each of the 999 limited-edition bottles, priced at $199 (£105), contains just a few crystals. The powder is so strong, however, that Mr Lazar estimates that it would have to be dissolved in 250,000 gallons of water before it could no longer be tasted.

His career as a hot sauce creator began when he found that the best way to clear drunks out of his seaside bar was to give them free chicken wings dipped in an eye-watering home-made hot sauce.

Now he runs Extreme Foods in New Jersey, selling his existing range, including "Mega Death" and "Jersey Death", the latter, according to Mr Lazar, being the world's hottest usable condiment.

He keeps a fridge full of iced spring water in his office for those brave enough to try some. Most tasters sweat heavily and are unable to see for tears for up to half an hour.

It takes several tons of fresh peppers to produce 1lb of capsaicin for the 16 Million Reserve, and the work takes months. First, moisture is removed from the fresh peppers until a thick tar-like substance remains.

The means by which all further impurities are eliminated, leaving pure capsaicin powder, is a trade secret, but the work takes place in a laboratory where Mr Lazar and his team wear sealed suits with masks to avoid inhaling the dust.

Five years ago Mr Lazar created "2am Reserve" in honour of the hour at which he once closed his bar. It was hotter than any other chilli product on the market, measuring up to 900,000 Scoville units.

He then distilled even stronger chilli extracts, including the scorching "6am Reserve" at 10 million units. Most of the signed and numbered bottles of "16 Million Reserve" will be bought by aficionados known as chilli heads.

Buyers have to sign a disclaimer warning that any handling "must be under a controlled environment using protective gloves and safety eye wear".

"It shouldn't be used for flavour," says Mr Lazar. "The only function is its heat value." He prefers not to speculate on what might happen should anyone be foolish enough to down an entire bottle. Rinsing the mouth with milk is among the best remedies as the capsaicin binds to fat molecules; it will also dissolve in alcohol.

Internet sites such as the hot sauce weblog and sweatnspice.com have been abuzz with talk about this week's release, with many collectors planning to buy at least two bottles - one to display and the other to try.

But one chilli head who obtained an early sample dropped a single grain into a pan of tomato soup. After persuading his wife to try a spoonful, he reported that: "She threatened divorce once she could speak again.''

My sister sent me this e-mail.

Subject: Texas Chili
>>> Texas Chili Contest
>>>
>>> If you can read this whole story without laughing then there's
no hope
>>> for
>>> you.
>>> I was crying by the end.
>>> Note: Please take time to read this slowly. If you pay
attention to the
>>> first two judges, the reaction of the third judge is even
better. For
>> those
>>> of you who have lived in Texas, you know how true this is.
They actually
>>> have a Chili Cook-off about the time Halloween comes around.
It takes up
>>> a
>>> major portion of a parking lot at the San Antonio City park.
>>>
>>> The notes are from an inexperienced Chili taster named Frank,
who was
>>> visiting from Springfield, IL.
>>> Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a
chili
>>> cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last
moment and I
>>> happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for
directions
>> to
>>> the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by
the other
>> two
>>> judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that
spicy and,
>>> besides, they told me I could have free beer during the
tasting, so I
>>> accepted".
>>>
>>> Here are the scorecards from the advent: (Frank is Judge #3)
>>>
>>> *CHILI # 1 EDDIE'S MANIAC MONSTER CHILI*
>>> Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
>>> Judge # 2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
>>> Judge # 3 -- (Frank) Holy shit, what the hell is this stuff?
You could
>>> remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to
put the
>>> flames
>>> out. I hope that's the worst one.
>>> These Texans are crazy.
>>>
>>> *CHILI # 2 AUSTIN'S AFTERBURNER CHILI*
>>> Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.
>>> Judge # 2-- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be
taken
>>> seriously.
>>> Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not
sure what
>>> I'm
>>> supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people
who wanted
>> to
>>> give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer
when they
>> saw
>>> the look on my face.
>>>
>>> *CHILI # 3 RONNY'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI*
>>> Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick. Needs more
beans.
>>> Judge # 2 -- A bean less chili, a bit salty, good use of
peppers.
>>> Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My
nose feels
>> like
>>> I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now.
Get me
>>> more
>>> beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my
backbone is
>> in
>>> the front part of my chest. I'm getting shit-faced from all of
the beer.
>>>
>>> *CHILI # 4 DAVE'S BLACK MAGIC*
>>> Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice.
Disappointing.
>>> Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish
for fish
>>> or other mild foods, not much of a chili.
>>> Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but
was unable
>>> to
>>> taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the
barmaid, was
>>> standing behind me with fresh refills. That 300-LB woman is
starting to
>> look
>>> HOT...just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili an
aphrodisiac?
>>>
>>> *CHILI # 5 LISA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER*
>>> Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly
ground,
>>> adding
>>> considerable kick. Very impressive.
>>> Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato.
Must
>>> admit
>>> the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
>>> Judge #3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my
forehead and I
>> can
>>> no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me
needed
>>> paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her
that her
>>> chili
>>> had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding
by
>>> pouring
>>> beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning
my lips
>>> off.
>>> It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop
>>> screaming.
>>> Screw those rednecks.
>>>
>>> *CHILI # 6 PAM'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY*
>>> Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good
balance of
>> spices
>>> and peppers.
>>> Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions,
and
>>> garlic.
>>> Superb.
>>> Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with
gaseous,
>>> sulfuric flames. I shit on myself when I farted and I'm
worried it will
>> eat
>>> through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me
except that
>>> Sally. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my ass with
a snow
>>> cone.
>>>
>>> *CHILI # 7 CARLA'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI*
>>> Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned
peppers.
>>> Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in
a can of
>> chili
>>> peppers at the last moment. **I should take note that I am
worried
>>> about
>>> Judge # 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is
cursing
>>> uncontrollably.
>>> Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the
pin, and I
>>> wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the
world sounds
>> like
>>> it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili,
which slid
>>> unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match
my shirt.
>>> At
>>> least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've
decided to
>> stop
>>> breathing it's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any
oxygen anyway.
>> If
>>> I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my
stomach.
>>>
>>> *CHILI # 8 KAREN'S TOENAIL CURLING CHILI*
>>> Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili.
Not too
>>> bold
>>> but spicy enough to declare its existence.
>>> Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili.
Neither mild
>>> nor
>>> hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge # 3
farted, passed
>>> out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of
himself. Not sure
>> if
>>> he's going to make it. Poor feller, wonder how he'd have
reacted to
>>> really
>>> hot chili?

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