Posted on 04/21/2005 4:56:39 PM PDT by aculeus
An American police force is planning to sign up a monkey to reinforce its elite special operations team.
Members of the special weapons and tactics (SWAT) unit in Mesa, Arizona, believe that a capuchin monkey, dressed in a bullet-proof jacket and equipped with a two-way radio and video camera, could prove an invaluable reconnaissance tool.
The SWAT team's commander has agreed to a feasibility study into the use of a capuchin monkey. Sean Truelove, a SWAT officer who builds and operates reconnaissance robots, has applied for a £53,000 federal grant to fund the four-year monkey project. Capuchins have already been trained to be companions to quadriplegics, performing tasks such as serving food, turning off lights and brushing hair. Mr Truelove said the same training could prepare a capuchin monkey for police intelligence work.
He said the monkeys, which weigh only 3-8lb and whose puzzle-solving skills are enhanced by tiny, dexterous human-like hands, could unlock doors, search buildings and find injured people upon command.
Their size could allow them into places that officers and robots could not reach, such as attic rafters, he said. "Everybody laughs about it until they really start thinking about it. It would change the way we do business."
Mr Truelove is prepared for potential opposition from animal rights groups and insists that the capuchin would not be sent into action if "the threat level is too high". Gloves for its hands and feet would protect it from broken glass.
Just as he has never known a suspect to harm a robot, he predicted that criminals would be "too stunned" by the capuchin's appearance to hurt it.
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Capuchins will be issued with radios and cameras.
In Mesa? He'll make captain inside of a year.
LOL!
its a idea thats crazy enough to work
Well, guess my Arizona-Ex has found work after all...
Not true, and very unfair to the City of Mesa.
Any cop who is bribed as cheap as a monkey would be would be on track to rapidly become mayor. Assuming he's a Mormon monkey, of course.
ROTFLMAO!! Cracks me up! (Going to go mix a Manhattan.)
Probably do a better job than F-troop.
LOL. Yeah, makes me recall "midnight runs" to grab drink at the Hambone out that way.
Used to buy a round for all the Mormons in the bar when I got there. You'd be amazed how many people will claim to be Mormons for a free beer.
I thought they already had Teddy and Chuckie and Biden and Byrd already working for them.
US police force to recruit capuchin monkey for 'intelligence' work
They need someone who can do some 'intelligence' work.
There they go again...outsourcing management to a bunch of foreign monkeys.
Don't stop there, give them a badge and a small Glock!
If you give the monkey a badge, a black uniform and a machine gun, he'll qualify as a BATF agent.
This is the second time on this thread I've had to correct a problem like this. You are maligning the BATF to imply a capuchin monkey would qualify as a BATF agent.
He'd be a BATF area director, at the very least. Probably a regional director.
They will probably work for peanuts instead of doughnuts; saving the taxpayers money; however, I'm assuming their taste in coffee will be somewhat more exclusive as they no doubt will prefer....Capuchino.
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