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Freeper Canteen: Tell me your favorite joke! Come join us. April 12,2005
Canteen funny guys

Posted on 04/11/2005 7:30:08 PM PDT by Diva Betsy Ross

For the freedom you enjoyed yesterday... Thank the Veterans who served in The United States Armed Forces.

Looking forward to tomorrow's freedom? Support The United States Armed Forces Today!

You know how it is when you're walking up the stairs, and you get to the top, and you think there's one more step? I'm like that all the time.

Yesterday I saw a chicken crossing the road. I asked it why. It told me it was none of my business

Here is the big question of the day: What is your favorite joke? (please keep it family friendly!) Come into the Canteen and tell us all about it!~

Links below! Wanna surf the internet with me?

I hope that you will find some fun,enlightenment and inspiration within these links. If you are really cool you will follow each one! I hope everyone has a great week. And of course thanks and love goes out to the troops. You guys and gals rock! Thank you-Thank you 100 thousand times!

Find Out If You Are a Road Geek Here

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Slogan Generator Here

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A Very Funny WebSite Here

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Experiments for Hostess Twinkies

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USO Public Service Announcement

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Are we having fun yet?? Hope so!

Support Our Troops Rally Ohio

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Motorcycle News

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Some Income is TAX FREE for Troops!

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Free Video Conferencing online for Troops

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Movies Released April 2005

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Faith Flashes-A Tribute to our Troops

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Tribute to Our Troops

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Looking for a special card to send a special American hero? LOOK HERE!

"Lord, hold our troops in your loving hands. Protect them as they protect us. Bless them and their families for the selfless acts they perform for us in our time of need. Amen."

AWESOME TRIBUTE AND PRAYER WHEEL FOR OUR TROOPS AND THEIR FAMILIES HERE (Make sure to look at the second page)



TOPICS: Miscellaneous; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: 229; jokes; military; supportourtroops
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To: StarCMC


401 posted on 04/12/2005 6:08:33 AM PDT by tomkow6 (...................hot DOG!........)
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To: FNU LNU
uh oh! (*snicker*) :] Welcome to the Canteen!


402 posted on 04/12/2005 6:10:31 AM PDT by Diva Betsy Ross (Code pink stinks!)
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To: mother22wife21
Good morning! HUGS backatcha!


403 posted on 04/12/2005 6:12:13 AM PDT by Diva Betsy Ross (Code pink stinks!)
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To: acad1228
Thank you for the ping and the fine music you so generously shared.

Hugs!

404 posted on 04/12/2005 6:13:44 AM PDT by CelticLass (WelshLass is now CelticLass)
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To: 2111USMC

You're killing me this morning! Keep it up!


405 posted on 04/12/2005 6:13:53 AM PDT by WV Mountain Mama (My kids are super cool, I hear they get that from their mom!)
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To: GodBlessUSA

406 posted on 04/12/2005 6:14:54 AM PDT by Diva Betsy Ross (Code pink stinks!)
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To: Arrowhead1952
Well, you're in the wrong place to be trying to think of other things. LOL Come back to us when you can give us your undivided attention.

Hugs!

407 posted on 04/12/2005 6:15:38 AM PDT by CelticLass (WelshLass is now CelticLass)
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To: CelticLass
Thank you for the ping and the fine music you so generously shared.

It's what I do!

408 posted on 04/12/2005 6:16:51 AM PDT by acad1228 ("Those who would forsake liberty for safety deserve neither." Ben Franklin)
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To: EHC Southern Pride
I'm having so much fun snagging these blonde jokes for my sisters that I cannot stop laughing. I've been busy snagging other jokes to share with friends and family but the blonde ones I only share with my sisters. LOL Thank you!

Hugs!

409 posted on 04/12/2005 6:17:59 AM PDT by CelticLass (WelshLass is now CelticLass)
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To: BykrBayb

Maybe my mother in law could partner up with yours?!


410 posted on 04/12/2005 6:17:59 AM PDT by WV Mountain Mama (My kids are super cool, I hear they get that from their mom!)
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To: acad1228

Sure, but you still deserve a "thank you".


411 posted on 04/12/2005 6:18:49 AM PDT by CelticLass (WelshLass is now CelticLass)
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To: Diva Betsy Ross
I haven't completely disappeared...


412 posted on 04/12/2005 6:19:24 AM PDT by mhking (I have my towel. Do you have yours?)
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To: mhking

LOL


413 posted on 04/12/2005 6:20:08 AM PDT by cyborg (Feel the FReeper Love)
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To: radu

Hey! There's a little dog in there! Obviously an attempt to infiltrate the enemy.


414 posted on 04/12/2005 6:20:49 AM PDT by Cowman (I wish they all could be double barreled girls)
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To: Arrowhead1952

WHOOP!!!!

415 posted on 04/12/2005 6:21:06 AM PDT by luvie (Freedom is on the march. Freedom is the birthright and deep desire of every human soul.GWB 3-29-05)
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To: CelticLass

Did you hear about the blond who thought nitrates were cheaper than day rates?


416 posted on 04/12/2005 6:21:48 AM PDT by tomkow6 (...................hot DOG!........)
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To: Diva Betsy Ross

bump


417 posted on 04/12/2005 6:22:45 AM PDT by NorseWood
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To: cedarswingman

"That was a REDNECK blond. Right?"

HAHAHAHAHA You know it was!


418 posted on 04/12/2005 6:23:08 AM PDT by EHC Southern Pride (LMBO!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!! : ) Its a silly type day)
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To: Cowman; radu


419 posted on 04/12/2005 6:23:16 AM PDT by tomkow6 (...................hot DOG!........)
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To: Diva Betsy Ross

On This Day In History


Birthdates which occurred on April 12:
1573 Jacques Bonfrère Dutch bible expert
1724 Lyman Hall US physician (signed Declaration of Independence)
1777 Henry Clay [the Great Compromiser] US politician
1793 Ferdinand I the Good Natured, Emperor of Austria/king of Hungary
1831 George Burgwyn Anderson Brigadier General (Confederate Army)
1831 Grenville Mellen Dodge Major General (Union volunteers)
1856 William M Conway English historian/explorer (Spitzbergen)
1871 Ioannis Metaxas Greek General/dictator (1936-41)
1879 Frederick G Melcher US, publisher/editor/founded children book week
1883 Imogen Cunningham photographer (1965 ASMP award)
1884 Otto Meyerhof Germany, psychologist/biochemist (Nobel-1922)
1911 Darrell A Amyx US archaeologist (Greek Ceramics)
1912 Herbert Mills singer, (Mills Brothers)
1923 Ann Miller [Lucille Ann Collier] Houston TX, dancer/actress (On the Town)
1923 Maria Callas opera singer (Carmen)
1927 Jane Withers Atlanta GA, actress (All Together Now, Josephine the plumber)
1927 Patrick Meehan petty criminal
1928 Brooklyn Supreme Belgium, stallion, heaviest known horse (1450 kg)
1932 Tiny Tim [Herbert Butros Khaury] New York NY, singer (Tip Toe Thru' the Tulips With Me)
1937 Igor Petrovich Volk Russia, cosmonaut (Soyuz T-12)
1940 Herbie Hancock Chicago IL, pianist (I Thought it was You)
1942 Frank Bank Hollywood CA, actor (Lumpy-Leave it to Beaver)
1944 John Kay [Joachim F Krauledat] Tilsit East Prussia Germany, rocker (Steppenwolf-Born to be Wild)
1946 Ed[ward] O'Neill Youngstown OH, actor(Al Bundy-Married with Children)
1947 David Letterman Indianapolis IN, comedian (Late Night)
1950 David Cassidy New York NY, singer/actor (Keith-Partridge Family)
1956 Andy Garcia [Andrés Arturo García Menéndez] Havana Cube, actor (Stand & Deliver, 8 Million Ways to Die)
1973 Pamela Polk Berlin WI, Miss Wisconsin-America (1996)



Deaths which occurred on April 12:
0352 Julius I pope (337-52), dies
1817 Charles Messier "comet ferret" & catalogs famous "M objects", dies
1864 Thomas Green US Confederate Brigadier-General, dies in battle at 50
1878 William M "Boss" Tweed New York politician, dies
1912 Clara Barton organized American Red Cross, dies at 90


1945 Franklin Delano Roosevelt 32nd US President (1933-1945, Democrat), dies of a cerebral hemorrhage in Warm Springs GA at 63


1946 August Borms Flemish nazi collaborator, executed at 67
1959 Ernest Willem Mulder composer, dies at 60
1975 Joséphine Baker US/French revue artist (Folies-Bergère), dies at 68
1976 Paul Ford actor (Phil Silvers Show), dies at 74
1977 Philip K Wrigley baseball owner (Chicago Cubs), dies at 82
1981 Joe Louis [Brown bomber] US heavyweight champion (1937-49),dies at 66
1987 Ewan Calague economist/statistician (Social Security) dies at 90
1989 Abbie Hoffman yippie "peace" activist of the 60's, dies at 52
1989 Sugar Ray Robinson [Walker Smith Jr] world welterweight champion (1946-51)/5-time middleweight champion, dies of Alzheimers at 67
1991 James Schuyler US poet (Pulitzer 1980), dies
1999 Lecil Martin "BoxCar Willie", country singer, 67. spent 22 years in the Air Force.



GWOT Casualties

Iraq
12-Apr-2003 2 | US: 2 | UK: 0 | Other: 0
US Corporal Jesus Angel Gonzalez Baghdad Hostile - hostile fire
US Lance Corporal David Edward Owens Jr. Baghdad Hostile - hostile fire

12-Apr-2004 2 | US: 2 | UK: 0 | Other: 0
US Lance Corporal Robert Paul Zurheide Jr. Al Anbar Province Hostile - hostile fire
US Lance Corporal Brad S. Shuder Al Anbar Province Hostile - hostile fire


Afghanistan/other
116 04/12/04 Szwec, Adrian Basil Commander 43 Navy Naval Hospital Guantanamo Bay Non-hostile - non-combat related

http://icasualties.org/oif/
Data research by Pat Kneisler
Designed and maintained by Michael White


On this day...
0352 St Julius I ends his reign as Catholic Pope
1065 Pilgrims under bishop Günther of Bamberg reach Jerusalem
1111 Pope Paschalis II crowns Henry V, Roman emperor
1204 4th Crusade occupies & plunders Constantinople
1545 French king François I orders protestants of Vaudois to be killed
1606 England adopts the Union Jack as its flag
1654 England, Ireland & Scotland unite(or else)
1709 1st edition of Tattler magazine in England
1770 Townsend Acts repealed
1776 Halifax resolution for independence adopted by North Carolina
1782 Battle at Les Saintes West-Indies British fleet beats French
1811 1st US colonists on Pacific coast arrive at Cape Disappointment WA
1844 Texas became a US territory
1857 Gustave Flaubert's "Madame Bovary" published
1858 1st US billiards championship is held in Detroit (Michael J Phelan wins)


1861 Fort Sumter SC is shelled by Confederacy, starting the Civil War


1862 James Andrews steals Confederate train (General) at Kennesaw GA
1862 Union troops occupy Fort Pulaski GA
1863 Gunboat battle at Bayou Teche LA
1864 Confederate General Nathan Bedford Forrest captures Fort Pillow TN
1864 Battle of Blair's Landing LA
1869 North Carolina legislature passes anti-Klan Law
1872 Jesse James gang robs bank in Columbia KY (1 dead/$1,500)
1877 Catcher's mask 1st used in a baseball game
1892 George C Blickensderfer patents portable typewriter
1893 Battle at Hoornkrans Southwest-Africa German Schutztruppen chases away Hottentotten under Hendrik Witbooi
1894 British & Belgian secret accord on dividing Central-Africa
1905 French Dufaux brothers test helicopter
1911 1st non-stop London-Paris flight (Pierre Prier in 3 hours 56 minutes)
1919 British Parliament passes a 48-hour work week with minimum wages
1927 General Chiang Kai-shek begins counter revolution in Shanghai
1928 Assassination attempt on king Victor Emmanuel II of Italy
1931 Spanish voters reject the monarchy
1934 Highest velocity wind ever recorded on Mount Washington NH, 231 mph
1935 "Your Hit Parade", debuts on radio
1935 Germany prohibits publishing "not-Arian" writers
1942 Japan kills about 400 Filipino officers in Bataan
1945 Canadian troops liberate Nazi concentration camp Westerbork, Netherlands

1945 Harry Truman sworn in as 33rd US President

1946 Syria gains independence from France
1951 Israeli Knesset officially designates April 13 as Holocaust Day
1954 Bill Haley & the Comets record "Rock Around the Clock"
1954 Joe Turner releases "Shake, Rattle & Roll"

1955 Salk polio vaccine safe & effective; 4 billion dimes marched

1959 France Observator reports torture practice by French army in Algeria
1960 Bill Veeck & Chicago Comiskey Park debut the "Exploding Scoreboard"

1961 Yuri Alexeyevich Gagarin becomes 1st person to orbit Earth (Vostok 1)

1963 Birmingham police use dogs & cattle prods on peaceful demonstrators
1966 Rocker Jan Berry crashes his Corvette into a parked truck
1966 1st B-52 bombing on North Vietnam
1969 Simon & Garfunkel releases "The Boxer"
1970 Yankees dedicate plaques to Mickey Mantle & Joe DiMaggio
1980 US Olympic Committee endorses a boycott of the Moscow games

1981 Maiden voyage Space Transit System-space shuttle Columbia launched (astronauts Robert L. Crippen and John W. Young)

1983 Harold Washington becomes Chicago's 1st black mayor
1987 Texaco files for bankruptcy
1988 Frank Robinson replaces Cal Ripkin as manager of the Baltimore Orioles
1988 Harvard University patents genetically engineered mouse (1st for animal life)
1988 Sonny Bono elected mayor of Palm Springs CA
1990 1st meeting of East German democratically elected parliament, acknowledges responsibility for Nazi holocaust & asks for forgiveness
1990 Greyhound Bus hires new drivers to replace strikers
1990 James Brown moves to a work-release center after serving 15 months
1991 US announces closing of 31 major US military bases
1991 Nepalese Congress party wins general elections
1992 Lynn Gunther of California threatens to blow herself up in front of UN
1996 Raul Salinas de Gortari ordered to stand trial on charges of hiding millions of dollars in unexplained income during his career as administrator of food-subsidy programs in the 1980s.
1999 A federal judge in Little Rock, Ark., found President Clinton in contempt of court for lying during his sworn deposition in Jan. 1998 Clinton fined $1,202, the cost of the judge's trip to Washington to preside over the deposition(legacy alert)
2000 Attorney General Janet Reno met in Miami with the U.S. relatives of Elian Gonzalez, after which she ordered them to bring the 6-year-old boy to an airport the next day so he could be taken to a reunion with his father in Washington. (legacy alert)
2002 Boston's Cardinal Bernard Law ignored growing demands for his resignation because of the sex scandal engulfing the church. Law ended up resigning the following December.
2003 25th day of Operation Iraqi Freedom US officials said 1,200 police and judicial officers will go to Iraq to help restore order. In western Iraq, US forces stopped a busload of men who had $630,000 in cash and a letter offering rewards for killing American soldiers. Baghdad Museum lost some 50,000 artefacts after 48 hours of looting. Unesco later reported 150,000 items lost with a combined value in the billions. It was later reported that losses were minimal and that curators had put away most valuables into vaults before the war began.
Lt. Gen. Amer al-Saadi (7 of diamonds), Saddam Hussein's science adviser, surrendered to US military authorities.
Jessica Lynch returned to the United States after treatment at a U.S. military hospital in Germany.
2004 Mexican Morelos state Gov. Sergio Estrada ordered the firing of all 552 state police officers following charges that commanders provided protection to drug traffickers.


Holidays
Note: Some Holidays are only applicable on a given "day of the week"

Mauritius : Ougadi
North Carolina : Halifax Independence Day (1776)
Russia : Cosmonaut Day
US : Egg Salad Week
US : National Garden Week Week (Day 2)
Big Wind Day
Look up at the Sky Day - don't you have anything better to do?
Reach as High as You Can Day
Dog Appreciation Month



Religious Observances



Religious History
1204 The armies of the Fourth Crusade captured Constantinople and established the Latin Empire.
1572 French-born Swiss reformer Theodore Beza (John Calvin's successor) wrote in a letter to Scottish reformer John Knox: 'They whose citizenship is in heaven ought to have their whole dependence on heaven.'
1799 The Church Missionary Society was organized in London under the original name of the Society for Missions in Africa and the East. This Anglican missions agency currently works in fields located in Africa, Ceylon, India, Pakistan, Iran, Palestine and the Far East.
1882 The Evangelical Reformed Church in Northwest Germany was created by royal decree when the king of Prussia ordered the 124 "reformed" congregations scattered throughout the area to become incorporated as an independent territorial church.
1914 An 11-day constitutional convention in Hot Springs, Arkansas, ended. During its sessions, the Assemblies of God denomination was founded.

Source: William D. Blake. ALMANAC OF THE CHRISTIAN CHURCH. Minneapolis: Bethany House, 1987.


Thought for the day :
"There is no sense in being pessimistic. It wouldn't work anyway."


420 posted on 04/12/2005 6:24:47 AM PDT by Valin (The Problem with Reality is the lack of background music)
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