CharlizeTheronababeosaurus is better! Notice the teeth!
Mark
Posted on 04/07/2005 9:31:30 PM PDT by Beowulf9
Loch Ness Monster Finally Identified
Forensic Artist and private investigator William McDonald, finally identifies what Loch Ness Monster may be.
(PRWEB) April 7, 2005 -- After nearly 1,500 years of conjecture, it appears the Loch Ness Monster may finally be identified. According to American Forensic Artist and private investigator William McDonald, the famous lake monster known as “Nessie” is neither a plesiosaur or prehistoric reptile, but a real, predatory species of water animal possessing the ability to hunt on land.
In the winter months of 2004, McDonald photographed tracks left by a large animal on a mud-covered Loch Ness shoreline in an area south of Invermoriston, just off the A-82 highway. Movie footage may be viewed at http://loch-movie.tripod.com. Weeks later, McDonald was contacted by two American university students who had just returned from a Spring Break trip to Britain. The students provided McDonald with video tape footage of the remains of a 200-pound Highland red deer carcass, found in a boat-only accessible area known to local fishermen as a “Kill Zone.” The deer appears to have been torn in half, its pelt ravaged. (there are no bears in the Scottish Highlands). But the most shocking find was a shed animal tooth – found wedged between the deer’s exposed ribcage. The tooth is barbed, well-rooted, and measured nearly four inches in length!
According to the three eyewitnesses on the video, shortly after the find, the tooth and several video tapes were confiscated by a local water bailiff. Highland authorities were uncooperative in the students’ efforts to have their find returned. The salvaged footage and photos of the tooth have been posted at http://www.lochnesstooth.com, along with a $5,000 reward for any information leading to the return of the “Nessie” tooth.
Mr. McDonald is coordinating the students’ efforts to have the tooth returned. He can be reached at Argonaut-Grey Wolf Productions in Mesa, AZ. PHONE: 480-330-7553.
###
CharlizeTheronababeosaurus is better! Notice the teeth!
Mark
Sharks do. But I doubt the veracity of this one too...
Mark
I saw a BS recreation of the attack in a movie so it has to be true.
Uhhh, the base of that -- whatever it is -- does not look like any crab claw that I've ever seen. It just doesn't look like it would fit together with the other half of the claw. I'm inclined to go with the pronghorn antler theory.
Uh.
Okay.
Now you know.
It's a horn from the dragon of Revelation. One of ten I believe. ;)
It's Friday. Just in one of those moods I guess... ;-)
Not only that, but I was wondering what kind of animal could survive in the wild if it lost a tooth every time it sat down to dinner?
Sharks lose them all the time, bunches of them.
Like holding the fish away from your body ;-)
That looks like an antler, not a tooth.
I happen to love Inverness, ...and there are interesting ruins like Urquehart castle along the shores of Loch Ness. For film buffs...Findhorn, one of the "fantastic" places mentioned by Andre in "My dinner with Andre" is also nearby.
The boat rental season hadn't started so we hired a local who took us on a private boat tour. She was a real babe, the kind of girl you usually expect to see in Colorado or Wyoming, you know, the outdoors type, beautiful without makeup. Anyway, she was about 21 years old and I could tell she was pretty well stacked even though she was wearing a heavy wool sweatshirt. Just before we left dock I purchased four liters of that potent Scottish beer while our guide was talking my roommate and hid them in my backpack.
We cruised around the loch for about an hour just getting to know each other and talking about Nessie and the sightings. I could tell she liked me and we seemed to be hitting it off really good. Finally we came upon this little isolated cove and decided to stop and eat lunch. That's when I broke out the beer and after downing a couple of those high-test puppies we were all starting to feel pretty good. This is when things really started to get interesting.
My roommate, Corky, saw some weird tracks in the mud (probably from an Irish monkey) and we started joking how it must be the Loch Ness Monster. Corky could see I was hitting it off with the guide pretty good and, like any good wingman, made a big deal about tracking Nessie and followed the tracks into the woods. I opened another beer and the guide and I passed it back and forth. The more we drank the closer we got.
When we hit the bottom of the third bottle of brew the guide leans over and tells me she's getting hot and asks me if it's OK if she takes her sweater off. Well, I may be from the Midwest, but I'm not Dashole. I nodded my head yes; and she wasted no time pulling her sweater over her head.
HOLY MACKERAL! Talk about Loch Ness Monsters! I couldn't believe the size of the flounders on this water girl. Even though she still had on a heavy blouse I could tell these were no ordinary Yetis. Of course I wasted no time locking lips and trying to initiate my own personal Loch Ness Monsters sighting, but she kept pushing my hands away, pretending to be bashful. So I took it slow figuring the beer would kick in any minute and turn my shy Nessie into a wailing banshee.
Just when I though my would explode from anticipation -- the beer finally did what beer does -- I passed out. When Corky got back from his monster tracking expedition he found me unconscious lying by the boat and the girl was nowhere to be found, almost like she had been abducted by aliens or something. The only thing I had to prove that she had been there all was one of her fingers. I'm offering $5,000 for anyone who can help me find a well-endowed Scottish lass with nine digits that match this one.
Yep.
Given the humorous nature of your response, I am hoping you realized I was also joking. However, I think the English Channel might make for a good investment. Can I pay in American dollars? I don't think I'll bother looking at the property first. You seem like someone I can trust. LOL
Right on schedule! This same time every year always comes the Nessie stories, never fails. It's how the tourist season starts for them.
Aye Lad. If it Noo be Scottish. It Be CRAAAP.!!
At times, I was a hell raiser. I have some funny stories also. One of my cousins was quite the prankster, plus part hooligan. I have some "rich" stories, and all the yarns are true. EEgads. All in good, sporting fun! "It's all fun and games 'til someone loses an eye!"...
One of my best friends has stories that will make you laugh so hard until you cry. Yep, he got good ol' Fred (not the sharpest marble in the box) to do a "no hands" off a huge downhill jump on his banana-bread seated bike. Problem was, there was a huge Oak tree down range, which the dude hit at altitude, arms outstretched, head first.... Poor kid was knocked into next week, fell down from the tree and had an ugly, purple welt the size of a grapefruit and, when he could stand, was walking around all loopey like he was hammered.
When I have BBQs, there are some funny stories to be had by all. Of course, we all try to grow up and start treating each other properly, of course.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.