Loch Ness Monster Finally Identified???

emediawire.com ^ | April 7th, 2005 | William McDonald

[Bald Eagle777]

Hooliganism, the "good"? old days... Good God, it's all fun and games til someone loses an eye. Rock fights; ball-bearing wrist rockets; bottle rockets; BB-gun "projects"; lighting of packs of fire crackers near those who *may* not appreciate it ... and other mischief, not good. Jumping fences and skating in empty pools, probably highly illegal. ...90% of that stuff is illegal now, I'm fairly certain.

Now, about "Crap" Circles, once again, there is NO TOURIST $$ involved here, none!

No tourism link, proof:
http://www.scotland.gov.uk/library3/tourism/tfar-04.asp
Anti-Tourist link:
http://www.scotland.gov.uk/library3/tourism/tfar-04.asp
Please do NOT spend any money link:
http://www.scotland.gov.uk/library3/tourism/tfar-04.asp
The anti-tourist link dot org:
http://www.scotland.gov.uk/library3/tourism/tfar-04.asp
Tourism is to be discouraged and prevented link:
http://www.scotland.gov.uk/library3/tourism/tfar-04.asp
and FINALLY, the End of the History Tourism link (courtesy of "The End of Tourism History" by Fukuyama):
http://www.scotland.gov.uk/library3/tourism/tfar-04.asp

No sireee Bob, no tourism $$ here.

Off topic:

Zebra bait
http://www.big-boys.com/articles/zebrahunt.html

Shovel Head, Car Driver Dude
http://www.big-boys.com/articles/crazydriver1.html

Not Enough Horsepower?
http://www.big-boys.com/articles/toomuchweight.html

Dumpster Monkey
http://www.big-boys.com/articles/bodyslamtrash.html

NOT a firework
http://www.big-boys.com/articles/verybigfirework.html

Roman Candle Wars (so much for bottle rocket wars)
http://www.big-boys.com/articles/candlewars.html

BOOM
http://www.big-boys.com/articles/gernadewash.html

Too bad fireworks are illegal to buy and/or set off in many states. You know some whining parents and liberal politicians ruined it for us ALL

[FreeKeys]

Therizinosaurus perhaps?

No, and THER IZIN' NO NESSIE EITHER!

[skybolt]

You read more into than U should have.. perhaps Ur own emotions, projections.

Did not say that was the "good"? old days. Was certainly not the hooligan, however was target of hooligans and bullys, Never fought with rocks nor wrist rockets, never light firecrackers on others.. had all that done to me and nevr..

Did swim in pools not my own. No one 'appreciate it' but me and the very few whom shared the experience.

Hey one makes self vulnerable when details revealed, being judged fact of life.

[A CA Guy]

Poor kid has crabs?

[Beowulf9]

"Apparently, Mary (Queen Of Scots) saw "Nessie"
while being held captive in Castle Urquhart. My
mom read the book that's from (she doesn't remember
what one, it's been a while) & Mary wrote about
a large fish monster in her journal. Of course, she's
not the only opne in History to have seen it".


That bit of info is fascinating. Have to feel sorry for her, sitting by the window in her dungeon, seeing something so unusual and not being able to tell a soul.

[spetznaz]

bump

[Grim]

McDonald was contacted by two American university students who had just returned from a Spring Break trip to Britain.

'nuff said. Stupid hoax.

[R. Scott]

One heck of a tooth. If it is real, there’s a good reason for the bailiff to make it disappear – it would be bad for tourism. People will flock to the site of a fictitious monster, but if there’s a chance they could end up like the deer?

[Caipirabob]

I suspect that the tooth didn't belong to the Loch Ness monster at all. Rather, I believe it to be sound evidence of a rare encounter with the mysterious "Mexican Biting Moose". They are more commonly found in Sweden (and none have been ever been actually seen in Mexico, but we know they're there...)

[hershey]

It's Hillary.

[TheBattman]

That's what I was thinking - Just doesn't look like any sort of tooth - it just isn't a functional design.

And when you consider crabs will munch on decaying flesh....

[TheBattman]

If the $5K reward is legit, then it would just about be worth finding a crab claw and adjusting it for the reward.

[fr_freak]

Notice the cruve of the tooth, not look at the root; it doesn't look structurally sound.

Not only that, but I was wondering what kind of animal could survive in the wild if it lost a tooth every time it sat down to dinner? After a few meals, it would have to take all of its sustenance through a straw. So, until they find a deer corpse with a straw sticking out and all of its internal organs sucked out, I'm going to remain skeptical.

[TheBattman]

After a few meals, it would have to take all of its sustenance through a straw.

Nahh....it could get it's nourishment from a feeding tube until a black-robed dictator decides to pull the tube....

[Jabba the Nutt]

Bingo! Antler. The deer got into a fight with another deer and lost. Then he got half eaten, sounds like, by fish, if half the carcass had been in the water. That would have looked like he had been torn in half.

[Rennes Templar]

Naw. Every 20 years or so it emerges at and meets up with the Sasquatch for purposes of procreating.

Thanks, mystery solved.

[csvset]

A MacChupacabra ?

[MarkL]

The Loch Ness monster is a...crab?

No, no, no, no... Jack the Ripper is actually the Loch Ness Monster!

Mark

[Constitution Day]

That's an spike antler from a young buck.

[Lazamataz]

Thomas: Ooh, it must've been about seven, eight years ago. Me and the little lady was out on this boat, you see, all alone at night, when all of a sudden this huge creature, this giant crustacean from the paleolithic era, comes out of the water.

Nellie: We was so scared, Lord have mercy, I jumped up in the boat and I said "Thomas, what on earth is that creature?!"

Thomas: It stood above us looking down with these big red eyes,-

Nellie: Oh, it was so scary!

Thomas: -and I yelled. I said, "What do you want from us, monster?!" And the monster bent down and said, "…Uh I need about tree-fitty."

Kyle: What's tree-fitty?

Thomas: Three dollars and fifty cents.

Nellie: Tree-fitty.

Stan: He wanted money?

Thomas: That's right. I said "I ain't giving you no tree-fitty you goddamn Loch Ness monster! Get your own goddamn money!"

Nellie: I gave him a dollar.

Thomas: She gave him a dollar.

Nellie: I thought he'd go away if I gave him a dollar.

Thomas: Well of course he's not gonna go away, Nellie! You gave him a dollar, he's gonna assume you got more!

Thomas: I said, "Dammit monster! Get off my lawn! I ain't giving you no tree-fitty!" It said, "how about just two-fitty?" I said, "Oh, now it's only two-fitty!! What?! Is there a sale on Loch Ness munchies or something?!"

Nellie: Lord, he was angry.

Thomas: Damn right, I was angry!

Nellie: Not you, the monster. He was about to kick your ass.

Thomas: Aah, shut your mouth, woman!