Posted on 04/02/2005 4:36:04 AM PST by gobucks
"Don't you dare guilt your wife into having a natural childbirth!", I am told by a nice woman I know at church. I have known this lady for some time, and we have never talked politics. Suddenly, my wife is hot political topic #1. And though the politics are 'under the radar', my wife is clearly a target in the ongoing cultural war.
Until my wife started to dramatically enlarge during this last trimester, comments like these had been few. Now, it is a torrent. "What hospital? What OB? You are getting an epidural, right? What brand of formula do you plan to use (as if we will collapse immediately into the arms of the Enfamil salesman)? You are not going to breast feed too long, are you? Are you on a waiting list yet for infant day care?"
My wife and I, married over 10 years with all kinds of issues associated with getting pregnant are about to be parents of a boy in a few weeks. We are of course, thrilled and overjoyed.
But the political overtones of how we bring him into the world are just unreal. The unending stream of opinion and advice about it, with over 95 percent of it being something like this: "don't be stupid. Get the epidural." We have yet to have a single woman report to us that having her baby in a fully undrugged state was a good idea.
Why is labor today so terrifying for women? Why is it that husbands are being taught that encouraging a woman to experience a full unmedicated delivery is akin to treating her like a barbarian? Heck, I've told my wife I am not the one having the baby, and thus, I'm not about to dictate to her how it should be done; I simply said I like the idea of natural childbirth and that is it. Why is this so politically incorrect? Why are hordes of women pouring out of the woodwork yelling at us to make sure she gets the drugs, the epidural?
What the heck is going on such that bringing a child into the world has to be so .... upsetting?
And these are women at my church! I can just imagine what a hapless secular woman in some lonely cul-de-sac must endure.
I'm a typical Chistian man with a very pregnant wife. I have an atypical enthusiasm for most things associated with FreeRepublic. I'm looking for reports from any of you husbands (or their wives) out there have experienced the kind of unreal cultural pressure my wife and I have undergone as this last trimester winds down.
I have googled around, looking for articles about this - and it is just about nada. Mostly stuff on teen pregnancy and abortion. Zilch regarding ordinary married folks who are being pressured to have a 'modern' birth experience.
I'm I the only one who is seeing how a pregnant woman is somehow a political lightning rod these days?
"Why is it that husbands are being taught that encouraging a woman to experience a full unmedicated delivery is akin to treating her like a barbarian?"
"I simply said I like the idea of natural childbirth and that is it"
Why do you like the idea? Who cares what you like? She's the one having the baby? Why would you "encourage" your wife in this?
This just makes no sense to me. As a husband, it gives me great peace to know my wife is not in pain.
This is not a cultural issue. It's a modern science issue. If you think innovation is evil, join an Amish sect.
Why don't you stop any medication at all when you're sick? Move out to the woods and build a cabin like Charles Ingalls?
FWIW, my wife breastfed our son. But that didn't hurt her and was better for the baby than formula. Natural child-birth is not a plus for anyone.
People do not see any point in suffering through anything that can possibly be avoided. There is no value to it in their eyes.
With my first birth I chose to go natural, not out of any ideology, but because I reasoned that childbirth could not be worse than a needle in my spine. I think women who use the meds deprive themselves of learning how strong and powerful they can be. I was a different person after giving birth.
I had a different view of myself. I had encountered this obstacle that I became convinced that I could not overcome. At one point during both births, I had just had enough and was convinced I could not take ONE SECOND more. But I did it. I didn't just endure, which is passive. I overcame the obstacle. I conquered it. It is a powerful experience.
You're a good man... and husband.
I didn't catch that he thought they didn't know what they were talking about. To me the issue is people's offering unasked for advice about something that is a personal decision, and getting impolite and condescending when you don't take their advice.
Kudos to you for choosing a drug free delivery, but please don't judge those who chose differently.
I realize that this is obviously a sensitive subject for some but where I have I indicated that I am judging anyone? I am just advocating less medical intervention if possible. I have talked with professionals who say that babies who are born to mothers who have epidurals and/or pain medicine have more complications than those who do not.
"Glob of tissue" mentality!
No thanks I'm not buying.
Gobucks is searching for answers, that is why he brought it to Free Republic, he even admitted googling around for answers. Having had childbirth classes before hand, and reading up about being pregnant, the only way you really know what giving birth is all about is to participate in it. Sounds like Gobucks will have some stories to share about his experiences , pretty soon..and we will listen :-)
"I realize that this is obviously a sensitive subject for some but where have I indicated that I am judging anyone?"
1. Why is narcan given immediately to infants whose mothers
had pain medication during labor?
Gee, my son was not given narcan and I did have a shot of pain medication during my labor. He did end up in a warmer because his temp was low but that was due to the c section and it's also not that uncommon.
2. I'm just saying that pain medication isn't the first and
only option.
I'm just saying that women already know that and you don't need to remind them.
3. I think that if women and her husband educate themselves
about labor and delivery process then they know what to
expect and it's not frightening.
You assume that women like me who recieved pain medication are not educated about the delivery process. Well, I was and not that I owe you any explanation but I was knee deep into the labor process before recieving pain medication. My water had already broken and I was not dialating past 3 cm. Twenty hours, one pain shot, and my baby still wasn't going to come the old fashioned way so the doctor decided it was safer to go in and get my son. Women can read and educate themselves (like we both did) and the labor process is going to be different for all of us.
4. Our society has become to over medicated.
We are talking about the pain of childbirth here...not some pain in the rear headache. Each of us are built differently and our pain tolerance is different. I think I did pretty damn good for twenty hours of labor with only one shot. If women needed more pain intervention then women needed more pain intervention. It's not necessary in today's society to suffer through childbirth like so many women did in the old days. Try having a c section like I did and try to heal quickly at home with a brand new baby as well. It wasn't easy because pain medicine (other than tylenol) was not an option for me. I had to be fully alert to take care of my brand new baby.
My son is a happy healthy thirteen year old today and looking back, I wouldn't have done anything differently. I hope I don't sound nasty because that's not my intention. I just wanted to make sure you got my point. Have a nice day.
"Why don't people trumpet the joys of 'natural root canals'?"
LMAO
Wow. You need to be a writer! That was such a spot on summation of what whole books have been written about! FR is an incredible place cuz of folks like you. Thank YOU! (Now, back to the subject....)
Thanks - you're too kind! I find killer insights here, too, which is why I keep coming back. (Also to show off my baby pictures :-).
Check with your doctor-hospital-insurance company, first. You may not have last-minute options.
We had one hospital that required moms to watch a video about anesthesia at least a month before the deliver (even if they'd already had 4 epidurals ...), and in a different place, an insurance company that required pre-approval for anesthesia.
You DO realize that that comment has elevated (?) you to 'Laz-level' don't you?
1. Keyboards are 10 bucks, used. I accept checks.
2. Please remind me to never, EVER, make you angry.
Pitocin (thanks) sure worked on my wife but one caveat:
One of the nurses accidentally removed the Pitocin drip about mid-way thru the 4-5 hours of labour and eventually they discovered it they turned it back up and ...she went to full dialation in about one hour. (this was last child)
I'm sorry it didn't work for you and you suffered from it.
We're done with children baring God's wishes but if you have anymore then best of luck.
Pitocin (thanks) sure worked on my wife but one caveat:
One of the nurses accidentally removed the Pitocin drip about mid-way thru the 4-5 hours of labour and eventually they discovered it they turned it back up and ...she went to full dialation in about one hour. (this was last child)
I'm sorry it didn't work for you and you suffered from it.
We're done with children baring God's wishes but if you have anymore then best of luck.
Sounds like Marines bootcamp training :o)
Offering Newbane and having your baby come out "drunk" on it is wrong.
They obviously needed a crude sign because that seemed to be the only way to get through to the drug pushers.
I'm sorry.
It sure worked well for my wife but they were planned deliveries.
I should have made that clear to ENC too.
Without Pitocin (again thanks;>), planned deliveries are pretty unfeasible.
You might ask why planned deliveries (?)
Well, we were older....lack of suitable family help and with other infants and small children at home. It is just easier to "plan" delivery rather than wait for the dam to break.
But good luck to you gals.
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