Posted on 04/02/2005 4:36:04 AM PST by gobucks
"Don't you dare guilt your wife into having a natural childbirth!", I am told by a nice woman I know at church. I have known this lady for some time, and we have never talked politics. Suddenly, my wife is hot political topic #1. And though the politics are 'under the radar', my wife is clearly a target in the ongoing cultural war.
Until my wife started to dramatically enlarge during this last trimester, comments like these had been few. Now, it is a torrent. "What hospital? What OB? You are getting an epidural, right? What brand of formula do you plan to use (as if we will collapse immediately into the arms of the Enfamil salesman)? You are not going to breast feed too long, are you? Are you on a waiting list yet for infant day care?"
My wife and I, married over 10 years with all kinds of issues associated with getting pregnant are about to be parents of a boy in a few weeks. We are of course, thrilled and overjoyed.
But the political overtones of how we bring him into the world are just unreal. The unending stream of opinion and advice about it, with over 95 percent of it being something like this: "don't be stupid. Get the epidural." We have yet to have a single woman report to us that having her baby in a fully undrugged state was a good idea.
Why is labor today so terrifying for women? Why is it that husbands are being taught that encouraging a woman to experience a full unmedicated delivery is akin to treating her like a barbarian? Heck, I've told my wife I am not the one having the baby, and thus, I'm not about to dictate to her how it should be done; I simply said I like the idea of natural childbirth and that is it. Why is this so politically incorrect? Why are hordes of women pouring out of the woodwork yelling at us to make sure she gets the drugs, the epidural?
What the heck is going on such that bringing a child into the world has to be so .... upsetting?
And these are women at my church! I can just imagine what a hapless secular woman in some lonely cul-de-sac must endure.
I'm a typical Chistian man with a very pregnant wife. I have an atypical enthusiasm for most things associated with FreeRepublic. I'm looking for reports from any of you husbands (or their wives) out there have experienced the kind of unreal cultural pressure my wife and I have undergone as this last trimester winds down.
I have googled around, looking for articles about this - and it is just about nada. Mostly stuff on teen pregnancy and abortion. Zilch regarding ordinary married folks who are being pressured to have a 'modern' birth experience.
I'm I the only one who is seeing how a pregnant woman is somehow a political lightning rod these days?
Only one of ours is adopted. I really admire the people who adopt more than once, and do such a good job parenting. I fail every day, and pray a lot.
This would seem to be a polite way of getting the idea across. Busybodies and gossips are part of life; so are fireants and kudzu; don't let them get you down.
It's your wife's business; you are backing her; the doctors don't think there's anything wrong; what's the problem?
My wife thinks a doula might be a good idea ... given that when she has the flu, I get kinda of worried. I'm thinking about asking one out to a lunch at the least.
My wife did get one of these .... and I never would have thought about the 'not looking' idea until this post; what a concept, but given how crazy our world is today, I guess this is something to consider...thanks.
"But why is it that nearly all women, and their husbands, are being taught that labor pain MUST be drugged away?"
Your wife will find out soon enough. When my contractions first began, they were mild (sort of like cramps from a period). I thought to myself that the women who used drugs for labor were wimps....boy was I wrong. One of my doctors actually called me weak for not being able to take the pain. He flatly told me not to ask for drugs until I was 6 cm along. Well thank god for nurses because it was the nurse who spoke up for me. I'll never forget her understanding and kindness and that great shot of stadol. It allowed me to sleep through the contractions for at least an hour.
Needless to say....after twenty hours of labor, I was just not dialating and another doctor from that group took the bull by the horns and basically dismissed my previous doctor and wheeled me into the operating room to have a c section. That was thirteen years ago but the memory of that pain will stick with me for the rest of my life.
Just be supportive of your wife during labor....no matter what she chooses.
"I did not have any medications or epidural. It just wasn't an option."
Kudos to you for choosing a drug free delivery, but please don't judge those who chose differently.
OMG what a precious little baby.
Wow...a man finally get's it. Your wife is lucky to have you and thanks for allowing me to feel okay about my choice to use pain killers.
Congratulations! My wife and I briefly discussed home birth, but we don't think we're going to do it. Frankly, I would see that as risking too much.
LOL! What a great metaphor....
Home birth is not for everyone. My oldest daughter could cross the prairies in a covered wagon and live in a log cabin!
My other daughter chose an epidural when she delivered her first baby.
I like it that today there are different alternatives and choices for birthing and the mother gets to choose what is best for her.
What did Savage say?
I've had 7. #1 was a C-section. They gave me the spinal/drugs. I felt everything/every cut/slice/dice. They told me I didn't know what I was talking about. THEN, when I got to the recovery room, they about fell over, because I moved around without their help. (I moved MYSELF from the delivery guerney to the 'recovery bed')
#2-5 were natural births. No drugs. 2 in hospital/2 at home. I slept like a lamb, between and DURING labor pains. The nurses would wake me to ask, 'don't you feel that, your contractions are off the charts?'. LOL... they 'irritated' me because I was tired and wanted to rest............the 2 born at home were awesome! I slept when I wanted, drank soda when I wanted, ate what I wanted, did what I wanted.
#6&7 were C-sects, only because no one 'trusted' me to have the twins at the hospital. LOL!!!
Why don't people trumpet the joys of 'natural root canals'?
First of all, a heartfelt congratulations to the two of you!
Secondly, this is YOUR child and this is YOUR wife....THE TWO of you make your minds up what is more comfortable for you. I cringe when I hear women talking to a young pregnant woman, telling their horror stories...I want to get up and slap them all.
I had INCREDIBLY EASY deliveries. Fast and easy. NO meds whatsoever. BUT THAT WAS ME and there's no WAY I'd push what I did off on someone else just cuz that's how my body reacted to giving birth.
So? You two just smile and say you're "thinking about it" and thank you for your advice.....and walk away snickering. Then go forth and have your baby! :)
AND IF YOU DON'T PUT UP A THREAD when the baby's born.....I shall find you! Ha!
Is there any other kind?
Tell your wife to go natural! I speak from experience!
Heh, I guess you did! I didn't really have any hard labor with any of ours. With the last one, I was in transition, and was laying in the birthing room laughing and joking with the labor nurse! They were trying to hurry things up and had me turn over on my side! YOWSERS! That hurt more than anything, so I turned back to my back.
I mighta had more, except I got fat AFTER the last one was born! ;o)
I had Pitocin with my first one, and I threatened bodily harm to anyone who suggested THAT again. GAK, it was awful! Those were the only contractions I had that were ever REALLY painful.
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