Posted on 04/02/2005 4:36:04 AM PST by gobucks
"Don't you dare guilt your wife into having a natural childbirth!", I am told by a nice woman I know at church. I have known this lady for some time, and we have never talked politics. Suddenly, my wife is hot political topic #1. And though the politics are 'under the radar', my wife is clearly a target in the ongoing cultural war.
Until my wife started to dramatically enlarge during this last trimester, comments like these had been few. Now, it is a torrent. "What hospital? What OB? You are getting an epidural, right? What brand of formula do you plan to use (as if we will collapse immediately into the arms of the Enfamil salesman)? You are not going to breast feed too long, are you? Are you on a waiting list yet for infant day care?"
My wife and I, married over 10 years with all kinds of issues associated with getting pregnant are about to be parents of a boy in a few weeks. We are of course, thrilled and overjoyed.
But the political overtones of how we bring him into the world are just unreal. The unending stream of opinion and advice about it, with over 95 percent of it being something like this: "don't be stupid. Get the epidural." We have yet to have a single woman report to us that having her baby in a fully undrugged state was a good idea.
Why is labor today so terrifying for women? Why is it that husbands are being taught that encouraging a woman to experience a full unmedicated delivery is akin to treating her like a barbarian? Heck, I've told my wife I am not the one having the baby, and thus, I'm not about to dictate to her how it should be done; I simply said I like the idea of natural childbirth and that is it. Why is this so politically incorrect? Why are hordes of women pouring out of the woodwork yelling at us to make sure she gets the drugs, the epidural?
What the heck is going on such that bringing a child into the world has to be so .... upsetting?
And these are women at my church! I can just imagine what a hapless secular woman in some lonely cul-de-sac must endure.
I'm a typical Chistian man with a very pregnant wife. I have an atypical enthusiasm for most things associated with FreeRepublic. I'm looking for reports from any of you husbands (or their wives) out there have experienced the kind of unreal cultural pressure my wife and I have undergone as this last trimester winds down.
I have googled around, looking for articles about this - and it is just about nada. Mostly stuff on teen pregnancy and abortion. Zilch regarding ordinary married folks who are being pressured to have a 'modern' birth experience.
I'm I the only one who is seeing how a pregnant woman is somehow a political lightning rod these days?
I'm not sure where this notion of epidurals and drugged babies comes from.
All 4 of mine came into this world through an epidural belly or vagina and they all screamed bloody hell like they were supposed to and squirmed and carried on and I never heard one nurse or Doc say one thing about the baby appearing drugged.
An epidural applies a numbing (not intoxicating agent) to the spine...does it not?
now back when I was born in the dark ages, they gave morphine or even general anesthesia...lol
it's amusing to hear that someone is being pressured to go epidural and that there are political overtones to that.
in my peer group, it's the opposite.....the no-make-up types lean on gals to go natural.
I'm in a middle to upper middle professional part of Nashville FWIW
Are the same anti-epidural folks here anti-Petosin as well?
Some folks get a bit self absorbed about being a conduit to life in my view.
I need to reread the thread but I wouldn't look down on a woman for getting an epidural. Some women just can't handle the pain. I heard it's like the very worst pms cramps times 100 so I'm not criticizing :o)
I remember my mom having my 12 years younger little brother.
Twenty hours labour....rough.
I think quick and less painful and stressful births are best for baby and mom....just my opinion.
And I have witnessed a baby in distress unable to tolerate the rigors of a "tepee birth" no matter ho cool mom and dad mighta thought it would be.
Birthtime is mighty unpredictable and I would not eschew medical advancements.
I mean think about it.
Why do so few babies and moms die at childbirth now?
Because of prompt medical care including all advancements.
Not because of "natural" childbirth.....there was a time "natural" had a 10% death rate.
My great X2 grandpa outlived 3 wives through childbirth deaths "naturally" and had 23 children. The last gal outlived him.
I would prefer to have my baby at home with a midwife but I certainly don't condemn medical advancements or doctors who do it. Hospitals and doctors are a good thing.
That's exactly why I went with an epidural the first time around. I used to have those cramps so bad as a teenager I would have to check out of school. My mom always told me my cramps were worse than her labors. So when they told me that labor was just like having cramps you better believe I signed up for that epidural. Good thing I did. After 24 hours of labor I ended up with a c-section.
Wow! I'm rethinking this childbirth thing :o)
Allow me to gloat as you prove my very point.
Midwife takes your bucks and you don't like it.
Well, I went on and had another one! :D
masochist you :-)
And yet your replies have been riddled with abuse to those whose opinions (and motives) differ from yours.
Too late to readjust your vitriole.
James has that Marlon-Brando Godfather hand-gesture down cold! Too funny.
He was going blibble-blibble-blibble with his lips, and the photographer caught him just as he moved his hand away.
Gobucks said Heck, I've told my wife I am not the one having the baby, and thus, I'm not about to dictate to her how it should be done; I simply said I like the idea of natural childbirth and that is it.
The Smugness came in think women in his church did not have some idea about what they are talking about, when it comes to childbirth. And by the question, that he asked " Why is it that husbands are being taught that encouraging a woman to experience a full unmedicated delivery is akin to treating her like a barbarian?"
Mad Dawg SAID:
So, if things get tight, gobucks might start dictating to his wife about how the childbirth should proceed? He's smug because he's told her the decision is hers?
Seriously, what did gobucks say that deserves his being characterized as being "so smug"?
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To gobucks, one more time....when your wife is in childbirth and you are sitting at her bedside , while she grimaces in pain of Childbirth....when she looks up at you....and you are pain free..that is when men begin to look Barbarians :-)
You are right pain is individual and pains are different. Kidney stones are very painful when passing. When in I was in the pain of passing a kidney stone and was crying at the Doctors, he told me not to worry, he had seen grown men faint from Kidney stone pain.
Natural childbirth is fine. I had four, and only had one shot of Demerol with the very first, because the labor was very fast.
Tell your wife to breastfeed as long as she wants. It isn't anyone else's business.
Lastly, beware the "midwives". I had a wonderful doctor in CA, she let me labor in any postition I wanted.
With the fourth, I had a "midwife" in GA due to a move. They weren't nearly as "natural" as the doctor.
I have a great book about unnecessary interventions by Constance Somebody, but we just moved and I can't find it.
The best suggestions in the book are to think CAREFULLY before every "procedure", because they increase the likelihood of a caesarian and to write a birth plan and make sure your doctor and the hospital agree to YOUR wishes.
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