I see this sort of thing in many conservative families. Sometimes when you push kids too hard, they go the other direction. Look at Cheney. I look around me and see all the troubled kids whose parents go to the local Baptist church. Then I see the neighbors, Buddhists, who have two wonderful daughters, both on college scholarships, both virgins and neither on drugs. I watched them interact. They were strict but loving and never forced their beleifs on their kids. I hate to say it, but my Christian friends, who FORCE their kids go to bible study and youth group, most have rotton kids always up to no good. They exhibit authoritarian leadership, which gives kids no sense of power or individuality. Kids want to make their own choices as teens (it's natural), and if parents let them, while modelling good moral behavior, they have a better chance of not falling into degeneracy. I know only a few Christian families whose teenage (and older) kids follow the path. One comes up to visit us monthly (we have a cabin on the property). Their boys are a dream, the kind of boys people wish they had. They actually volunteer to help out when they see us cutting wood, bathing the horse, working in the garden, etc... They are not fundamentalists, but pray daily and are very kind, considerate, open minded people. They don't pressure their boys to be good, nor are they authoritarian. They show trust for them and respect their individuality. They raised their kids the same way the Buddhist neighbors did. Both sets of kids are well-balanced and wise for their age.
Pointing them in the right moral direction, rather than dragging them, kicking and screaming, down your path, is the key to helping them grow spiritually and making the right choices in life.
Being Jewish I can comment from a different point of view. Parenting is hard work, and we don't always get things right, and this has nothing to do with how strict or strong our religious beliefs.
We insisted our son go to classes leading to his Bar Mitzvah. He was reluctant, but did have his friends who felt the same way in class. After resisting for several years, he came through for us and himself in the last 6 months and did a good job. He also has not set foot inside a synagogue since, (well once in college to check out for Jewish girls in the new community). But we feel it was our job to provide the experience and he does not regret it now. On the contrary, a Jewish student I had in High School said he did regret dropping our of his class. So you have these choices to make. We did not force him to continue music lessons, (maybe that was a mistake?)
Moral behavior cannot be imposed. It must come from within.
Excellent post!
Right on the mark!
On the other hand, if you really respect someone you will try to understand their beliefs and emulate their behavior.
Some children are just naturally rebellious. The very best parents can rear a child who chooses values 180 degrees opposite theirs.
I've always maintained that I've never seen a child of overly strict parents who didn't become an accomplished liar. I've yet to see a single exception, although I'm sure one exists somewhere.
Good post.
As the saying goes, Christian nurture and education is to enable the children to see with their own eyes, not give them our own.
For a "followerofchrist" you seem to have a strange bias against "fundamentalists".
Have you ever stopped to consider the folks you are accusing are raising their kids in a godly way, but the kids are naturally rotten all on their own, and doing right by these kids won't make them *be* right?
When my sis and I were growing up, our parents told us, firmly but lovingly, "This is our house. As long as you are living here, well fed and well provided for, you will obey our rules." And, of course, at times we rebelled, but they set up wise boundaries for us, which (I think) made us better, disciplined people in the long run.
There comes a time when every person is held accountable for himself.
Dont forget godless.. Look my mother raised seven kids, all the exact same way! and some of us got into trouble, and some of us did not. Some went to school and got Engineering Degrees and some did not finish High school. You cant look at *your* neighbors, and *your* friends and come to any valid conclusion with the scope that you just did.
Excellent post.
Religion ruined my life.
NO details...it's just true.
Prov.22:6
[6] Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
It is the responsibility of the parent to raise their child in the Christian faith with lots of firmness and love.