Posted on 01/04/2005 12:24:26 PM PST by Keyes2000mt
The words were said countless thousands of times last year as a minister concluded the ceremony. "What God hath joined together, let no man put asunder." But so often man and woman do.
While gay marriage has been roundly condemned in most churches (and rightly so), you will not hear much about divorce. In many cases, if divorce is discussed in church, it's talked about as this horrible circumstance that comes upon people, listed in the same breath as automobile accidents or serious illnesses.
The Bible is quite clear on the issue of divorce. Malachi 2:16 says it clearly, "For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that He hateth putting away (i.e. Divorce)..." Hate's a strong word and Christ reiterates this in the New Testament. Yet, in the church, even in Conservative churches, a man is more likely to feel uncomfortable with pierced ear than with a couple divorces behind him.
There's good reason why the church and conservatives are skittish about this topic. There's no one who doesn't know someone who's been divorced. They fill our church pews every Sunday. We know them to be decent folks who agree with us on a lot of cultural issues. Randall Terry, Newt Gingrich, and Rush Limbaugh have all been divorced.
We also know folks who have been victimized by their ex-spouse: abused, cheated on, and treated like dirt. Or, perhaps you dear reader have had a divorce where you weren't at fault and that you didn't choose.
On the other hand, most Christians know very few homosexuals and even less know homosexuals who'd like to get married. The odds of a pastor offending a large tither whose gay and wants to get married is quite small.
To say our current divorce rate is a national sin is not to say that all divorcees are to be condemned and treated as despicable outcasts. The church should be compassionate, but even as Christ said, "Go and sin no more," It must be proactive in dealing with divorce.
Divorce must be taught against strongly in the church. The church as a community should be dedicated to helping preserve the marriages of the church. Strengthening the marriages of believers should be considered as important if not more so than evangelism. Children of broken homes often wander spiritually and in many cases fall from faith. Thus, a large church may win 100 converts, but if it produces 40 broken homes in the same year that leads to 100 angry and embittered children, it is not truly building the Kingdom of God.
Also, church discipline should be used when appropriate for those who divorce without just cause and refuse reconciliation efforts. Watching Cornerstone Television, I saw former NFL player and Pastor of Antioch Bible Church Ken Hutcherson. He organized the Mayday for Marriage rally in Washington, DC opposing gay marriage. Call him anything you like, but don't call him a gay-hating hypocrite. Hutcherson said that in the past year, he'd censured five members of the church, including some for ending marriages without just cause.
The structure of most Protestant Churches is anti-authoritarian and the idea of church discipline is scary to most of us as we've heard horror stories about how cults have abused it. However, desperate times call for desperate measures and a biblical use of church discipline could aid in preserving marriages.
Secular Action
The devastating number of divorces is an area where the interests of church and state collide. Studies have shown that divorces lead to economic problems for states and communities, as well as the long term problems that come from children of broken marriages. It's no accident that the richest states are those with the lowest divorce rates.
The fact is that anyone who finds themselves in a bad marriage made a mistake at one time or another. Half the time, their biggest mistake was getting married in the first place. To prevent these bad matches or to help get the marriage off on a better start, marrying couples should be required to undergo several hours of marriage classes and/or marital counseling from a licensed minister or marriage counselor.
Secondly, no-fault divorce laws must be reformed. Marriage is the most important relationship a person has legally, yet it has all the force and effect of a month-to-month lease thanks to no-fault divorce laws. The laws should be reformed so a no-fault divorce can only be obtained if both parties consent. This would also reduce the court costs associated with issues of custody and division of the property as a no-fault divorce could only be obtained if both parties were agreed on it.
Those who believe in gay marriage have pointed to divorce as an argument against those who seek to protect marriage from same sex unions. I reject the argument that one evil prospering requires that we allow another blow to traditional family values. However, preserving the family is about more than one single issue and if we're going to be serious about it, we have to address all the issues that threaten the survival of the Family.
38 years...that's awesome! I'm hoping mine lasts, too. So far, so good. :) We work at it, though.
There seem to be more of THEM than us..........but TOUGH on them.
I consider myself to be a very tolerant and compassionate kind of a gal, and most people who know me would agree. With that said, I have no tolerance or compassion for those who will treat others as sub-human for whatever reason, but most especially upon so-called "Christian" reasoning. The very last thing they are is anything resembling a Christian.
You know that old saw about marriage being 50/50? It isn't...it's 100/100! If each of you give the other 100%,then you NEVER have to think of yourself. :-)
My sister-in-law just told me today that she's leaving my brother. As hard as it is for me to accept, I don't blame her one single bit. Sometimes, it's just inevitable and it cannot be fixed. I'm so sad right now. For her. She tried so hard.
Exactamundo! LOL. Plus, it means you don't waste time trying to "change" someone else. I had to learn that the hard way, though. But learn I did, and I am grateful. :)
To me, it's one of the saddest things I've seen around here. No wonder there are so many that won't believe in God, because these are the type of people who get the ink, and so come to represent most Christians by default.
I'm still waiting for an answer about how Jews' and other non-Christians' marriages being the "mirror image of Christ's love for the church"! :-)
Problem is, for some folks, you can never repent enough. It's a good thing for us that they aren't the ones who get to judge whether or not you truly repent...or I'd have a personalized seat in the Hot Place. LOL
If someone marries a man/woman with the thought that that person "will change",that marriage is doomed!
So you would live with a drug-addicted, homicidal maniac simply because they exhibited no signs of that behaviour when you selected them to be your spouse? Your commitment to a marriage cannot be borne out by yourself and if your spouse abaondons the basis of love upon which it is framed, how can you keep your commitment? No one is wise enough to make a perfect choice and some are not wise enough to make even acceptable choices. Should they be forced to live with a physical threat because they lack wisdom or came to it late? Seems wrong in a very obvious way.
Thank goodness I never had any ideas of changing his habits until after we got married. Of course, since we didn't live together before we got married, I had no idea what some of his habits were, lol.
Finally decided that the problem was mine and dealt with it. There were a couple of things that were not, but he took it like a man, and undertook to fix those things. We both ended up happy, lol.
LOL...sounds like a plan. :) But how come I get stuck with the aisle seat?!? LOL
Maybe I'll make it a Handsome Devil Belgian Ale, from Beer Works Brewing.
Or maybe an Old Devil ale from Wychwood Brewery.....
Can I hang out with you guys all the time on the holier-than-thou threads?
Howlin, THIS is the ping list you should create - The Holier-Than-Thou Ping List.........
To me it's more scary than sad, because as you say they are the ones that get the ink and give the rest of us a bad name.
I wondered about that, too. :) Doesn't seem fair to keep such knowlege from sinners like us, does it?
LOL...it's kinda crowded, but I think we can fit you in. :)
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