Posted on 12/07/2004 3:32:41 PM PST by CHARLITE
The first battle was joined about a week ago. My unit’s enemies had been enjoying many victories (all against the weak and defenseless) on battlefields outside of my area of operations when they finally showed up in a place my growling troops could get at them. I quickly consulted my small-unit leaders, analyzed the intelligence I was being provided with, called the enemy to let them know they were about to get whomped (I like to fight fair and have found that telling the enemy they are about to get their asses handed to them has a way of rattling them), cried havoc and let loose my dogs of war.
But I did so with no small amount of trepidation, which is unusual for me. In fact, trepidation is an emotion I had never before felt in battle.
You see, the leader of the unit my forces and I were about to engage is a friend of mine; a man I had supported in what now seemed like another lifetime. He had been “turned” by the dark side. And now I would face him in a small but important fight that, if my unit won, would lead to bigger battles and hopeful eventual victory in the war.
My troops, knowing they simply had to win this one, quickly overran our opponents after a textbook assault that was absolutely flawless in its execution and which overwhelmed the other side, whose leader surrendered to me with grace, self-deprecating humor and dignity. This was bittersweet, and I thanked him for coming to his senses before the battlefield turned into a slaughterhouse.
I again knew the man I had known before.
His name is Mayor John Hickenlooper. The battle, which was over the words “Merry Christmas,” took place at Denver City Hall.
Mayor Hickenlooper, who was planning to strike “Merry Christmas” from the Christmas display at City Hall because it might offend someone, changed his mind after my troops (my audience) inundated his office with faxes, phone calls and emails. Hizhonor recognized the battle was lost and did the right thing.
It takes a big man to come on the air on my shows and say he had made a mistake and had corrected that mistake.
Now my troops are itching to get into the next fight. This time they will face the Downtown Denver Partnership, which runs the Parade of Lights. The Partnership won’t allow Christian Christmas carols, “Merry Christmas” signs or Christian symbols because someone might be offended. I’ve told them to surrender or else. They have said they would think about it.
Advice to the Partnership: Think hard and think fast.
This time, if the Partnership insists, I will use my special operations forces, which consists of a team of bloodthirsty lawyers who don’t lose battles. They will support my shock troops, who will boycott every business in the Partnership.
See, I know where to hit the enemy where he is most vulnerable, and those places are in the courts of public opinion and law, and in the wallets and purses of the enemy.
When the Partnership capitulates, I will turn my attention to the enemy commanders, a hateful band of secular vigilantes who launch their attacks on freedom and tolerance from the halls of their fetid fortress: the American Civil Liberties Union. The fortress’ moat, filled to the brim with the shattered rights of the ACLU’s victims, will be crossed. The fortress’ walls will be breached. Casualties will be high.
Mount up.
Bob Newman, a decorated, retired US Marine, is host of the “Gunny Bob Show” on Newsradio 850 KOA in Denver, and host of “Inhuman Newman’s Anger-Management Hour” on 630 KHOW, also in Denver. His “Global Positioning Statement,” a daily insider’s update on the war on terror, is carried by various Clear Channel radio stations from coast to coast. A ground-combat veteran, he is the director of international security & counterterrorism services for The GeoScope Group and is the military science & terrorism columnist for The Denver Daily News. He can be reached at bobnewman@clearchannel.com
I think most Christians have had enough of Christ being kicked out of Christmas by the ACLU.
Merry Christmas ~ Bump!
Merry Christmas Bump!
Well good for him!
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