Posted on 12/03/2004 6:38:40 PM PST by qam1
I look around me everyday and I see beautiful women. It could be very tempting to go out and date them. Going out every weekend to the clubs and picking up an assortment of chicks like so many kinds of chocolates in a Valentine's Day gift. But I will not!
It has taken me years, but I am finally getting over the lasting effects of "Seinfeld."
Yes, "Seinfeld." What is considered the greatest show/sitcom of all time has also been the biggest plague/curse on my life.
Students currently attending the University are part of the "Seinfeld" generation. Society has branded us "Generation X," and that might be so, but within the all encompassing "Generation X" lies a subset of post-pubescent adultlings.
Growing up, we "Seinfeldites" would come to learn of the adult world through the dark shadow that is "Seinfeld."
There are two role models for men in "Seinfeld" -- Jerry and George.
If you could have your pick, Jerry is the obvious choice.
He has lots of money, travels all the time; his crazy friends get into all kinds of amusing trouble, and he meets women faster than a shirtless Colin Farrell at a sorority house holding DVD box sets of Friends and the most recent "embattled woman fights for her rights" Julia Roberts movie.
All I am saying is that he was getting laid, constantly. He was getting the fine booty that all men crave.
This left an indelible impression on a young man. This, I assumed, was the fate of all halfway decent looking men.
Life would be like an RPG in which you find the best women you can at the time, until someone better comes along. Then you level up. The goal of the game is to get the level up as much as possible while using the least amount of continues.
However, Jerry was not the only character that has influenced our nation's youth. George Costanza or "Can't Stanz Ya" depending on your pronunciation, has left the best minds of our time with serious mental diseases and complexes.
No matter how slick you think you are, enough Costanza in your life will cause you to doubt yourself and all you believe in. George was obviously the most despicable and interesting character on the show.
He would lie his way into sex, jobs, marriage, out of marriage, fake disability, race old people in 9-volt scooters, take naps under his desk, have sex with cleaning ladies in his office and was the cheapest bastard on the face of the earth.
As awful a person as he might seem on the surface, there is a little George Costanza in all of us.
And the more you watch him, the larger that little Costanza inside you grows, until there is nothing left but a 35-year-old bald man with no job, no prospects and no reason to get up in the morning -- except to read the daily news.
Just think what kind of a result just these characters have on the psyche of children. And these are only two of many sexual deviants and immoral miscreants "Seinfeld" would propagate!
What does a boy learn by watching Elaine or Kramer?
From Elaine you learn that most women have little sense of humor and are only funny when extremely pissed off.
And from Kramer you learn that you can get by in life, with no job and no money just by mooching off the guy across the hall.
Having spent years getting over the mental strain and irregular development caused me by this show, I have filed a class action lawsuit with Jerry Seinfeld and the creators of "Seinfeld."
The suit is being brought now, in part due to the fact that the DVDs were recently released, and I fear that I will have a re-lapse and years of therapy will have been for naught.
Students can get in on this suit by going to www."Seinfeld"_ruined_my_life.com
"full of rotten people you would rather see under the wheels of a bus."
No, that was "Mean Girls."
Give me GET SMART & the ODD COUPLE.
Later, my shoe phone is ringing.
I don't remember that one...
I'll take "Spiny Marsupials" for $200, Bloody.
"A squared b prime x plus y
upsilon omnicron eta theta pi
Comptemplate Cerebrate Cogitate too
Double Dome Double Dome We Love You
Felicitations Felicitations Felicitations" --Bullwinkle
--School cheer at the Double-Domed Institute for Advanced Thinking
The domes at the institute had a mildly erotic appearance for those of the male persuasion...
LOL!
i remember "Claud".
I'm like you: didn't get it til later!
"Seinfeld" and "Rocky and Bullwinkle"
( I am here for "Mouse and Sqvirrel". Never DID get "Seinfeld"....)
Yeah, I know. I was commenting on a part of the article that was being ignored in favor of talking about Seinfeld.
LOL!
I'll ask my husband when he comes in...he's a big Bullwinkle fan and likes...er..."domes".
Duh, I thought the finale (the courtroom scenes, right?) was about cost cutting and cheating the viewers (and advertisers) that producers of long running boob tube shows do on a regular basis: save production costs (one cool million per principal actor, for example) by splicing together scenes from previously shown episodes and call it something like "the Fifth Anniversary Show", or in this case "Seinfeld Finale". (Although in this particular case they did engage the million dollar cast, but by confining all action to two stagesets - the courtroom and the holding cell - they still saved a bundle.) It's quite transparent, isn't it, which is why I think you'd have to strain to find any meaning in the dramatic wrapping that they put around such Frankenstein episodes, which only serves to allow them to string these clips together.
Is always Mouse and Sqvirrel. . .
Jerry and George had dinner in a restaurant with the deaf blonde that Jerry had just picked up earlier. She said that she could read lips. George hatched a plan to take her to a party where she could tell him what his own ex-girlfriend was saying from afar. But at that restaurant, George wanted to test her abilities. He spotted another couple in distress in a nearby booth. He asked the deaf woman what was happening. She said that they seemed to be breaking up. The guy's exact words were: "it'not you, it's me".
The restaurant scene had some other choice bits, but the party scene was a masterpiece. It's worth owning.
:-)
I'll have to check that out. Thanks. (o:
Andy Griffith Show: I really like that one.
Yes...a self improvement book.
Obviosly you don't need to improve yourself......
Oh yeah..Classics.......I've read most of them.
And they do have some redeeming value...and History books do have value....But a political analysis book?
Here's waht you need to know about politics......if you ain't in power.....you have no power.
That's all you really need to analise about politics.
"From Elaine you learn that most women have little sense of humor and are only funny when extremely pissed off."
They should see Mrs. Exile when she's po'd. Nothing funny about that, I just grab the cat and hide in the closet until the crashing stops.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.