Posted on 12/03/2004 6:38:40 PM PST by qam1
I look around me everyday and I see beautiful women. It could be very tempting to go out and date them. Going out every weekend to the clubs and picking up an assortment of chicks like so many kinds of chocolates in a Valentine's Day gift. But I will not!
It has taken me years, but I am finally getting over the lasting effects of "Seinfeld."
Yes, "Seinfeld." What is considered the greatest show/sitcom of all time has also been the biggest plague/curse on my life.
Students currently attending the University are part of the "Seinfeld" generation. Society has branded us "Generation X," and that might be so, but within the all encompassing "Generation X" lies a subset of post-pubescent adultlings.
Growing up, we "Seinfeldites" would come to learn of the adult world through the dark shadow that is "Seinfeld."
There are two role models for men in "Seinfeld" -- Jerry and George.
If you could have your pick, Jerry is the obvious choice.
He has lots of money, travels all the time; his crazy friends get into all kinds of amusing trouble, and he meets women faster than a shirtless Colin Farrell at a sorority house holding DVD box sets of Friends and the most recent "embattled woman fights for her rights" Julia Roberts movie.
All I am saying is that he was getting laid, constantly. He was getting the fine booty that all men crave.
This left an indelible impression on a young man. This, I assumed, was the fate of all halfway decent looking men.
Life would be like an RPG in which you find the best women you can at the time, until someone better comes along. Then you level up. The goal of the game is to get the level up as much as possible while using the least amount of continues.
However, Jerry was not the only character that has influenced our nation's youth. George Costanza or "Can't Stanz Ya" depending on your pronunciation, has left the best minds of our time with serious mental diseases and complexes.
No matter how slick you think you are, enough Costanza in your life will cause you to doubt yourself and all you believe in. George was obviously the most despicable and interesting character on the show.
He would lie his way into sex, jobs, marriage, out of marriage, fake disability, race old people in 9-volt scooters, take naps under his desk, have sex with cleaning ladies in his office and was the cheapest bastard on the face of the earth.
As awful a person as he might seem on the surface, there is a little George Costanza in all of us.
And the more you watch him, the larger that little Costanza inside you grows, until there is nothing left but a 35-year-old bald man with no job, no prospects and no reason to get up in the morning -- except to read the daily news.
Just think what kind of a result just these characters have on the psyche of children. And these are only two of many sexual deviants and immoral miscreants "Seinfeld" would propagate!
What does a boy learn by watching Elaine or Kramer?
From Elaine you learn that most women have little sense of humor and are only funny when extremely pissed off.
And from Kramer you learn that you can get by in life, with no job and no money just by mooching off the guy across the hall.
Having spent years getting over the mental strain and irregular development caused me by this show, I have filed a class action lawsuit with Jerry Seinfeld and the creators of "Seinfeld."
The suit is being brought now, in part due to the fact that the DVDs were recently released, and I fear that I will have a re-lapse and years of therapy will have been for naught.
Students can get in on this suit by going to www."Seinfeld"_ruined_my_life.com
You made out during Shindler's List?
LOL, and fell asleep during the English Patient.
Have you started collecting the MWC DVDs? I started with the two volume set titled "Most Outrageous Episodes." The DVD set for season 1 was released a while ago. MWC has held-up well over time.
I remember reading that it was a show about nothing. I watched a few episodes of it and didn't find anything funny. I think "Friends" and even "Married With Children" had a little more to it. "Friends" could be very funny. Nevertheless one of the advantages of the Seinfield days was that it was a show you can unwind to. I mean geez ever turn on the News. That is what I call worthless bias junk.
In the old days we had shows like "The Jeffersons" and "I Love Lucy". Funny shows with a moral to each story. I miss those kind of TV shows.
Fair enough. I honestly think "The Simpsons" is one of the most intelligent shows on the boob tube. I loved it when Conan O'Brien was in the mix.
Cool about LT Smash. I Pray he stays safe.
One poster mentioned one of my favourite shows: The Andy Griffith Show. The show is especially funny if you have ever lived in a small, rural community.
Note to author: It is just a TV show. Repeat this phrase in your mind until you learn that sitcoms are fantasy and not a guidebook for living your life.
Exactly what I was going to say! Get life, TV is not real, and before you start suing over Reality TV, That isn't Reality!!
The same crew that did R&B did Crusader Rabbit about a decade earlier. I got hooked then. When R&B came along it was just as good. In between there was Pogo in the paper.
Oh I will have to get them, I catch the re-runs from time to time and still laugh my a§§ off. I finally joining the 21st century and getting a DVD for Christmas, I will definantely add them to my collection, My 1st DVD set will be the 3 seasons of The Land of the Lost
..the chick has man hands. There, I've said it. Check it out and tell me if I'm wrong.
Yes! Yes, she does, and I've said it on more than one thread. Plus, she's way too damn bony and thin; good thing she's smart and spiny. Here's the manhands proof, by the way:
the commercials come on..
No she does not. I have seen her on talk shows, she has slender fingers, actually very feminine! You guys!
Land of the Lost is on DVD?! I am waiting for Get Smart and Night Court to be released on DVD. One of my favourite MWC episodes was the one where Al planned and executed Marcy's wedding. "Al calling garbage scow Toxica, over."
YES! I also recall the in-depth discussion regarding just when something in a rubbish bin actually becomes garbage.
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