Headline:
Canada's birth rate at all-time low
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Need we say more?
Posted on 12/01/2004 2:30:28 PM PST by JusPasenThru
Rather than give Immigration Minister Judy Sgro a hard time about whether or not she greased the pole, as it were, to fast-track the process to allow a Romanian stripper to stay in Canada, we need to be taking a look at the bigger issue: Why is Canada unable to meet the demand for exotic dancers on its own?
What is lacking in our national character that we cannot turn out enough people who can figure out how to take off their clothes? Are we so lacking in skills that we do not know how to pull down a zipper, unhook a bra, unsnap a garter, or roll down a stocking? Is it not a source of national shame that we must import people to do this kind of work? What does this say about us?
Nothing good, I think.
Who knew things would get so bad that Ottawa would have to come up with a stripper visa program to deal with the shortage of exotic dancers in this country? Last year, 500 Romanian women got such visas, and thank heavens they did, otherwise thousands of Canadian men would have had spend their household grocery money on booze without any entertainment to help justify it.
The opposition parties up in Ottawa are trying to discredit the Liberal immigration minister and members of her staff for allegedly meeting with strip club owners wanting help with this problem, and for a ministerial permit Sgro supposedly gave a Romanian stripper who worked on her election campaign. If Stephen Harper thinks we shouldn't be bringing in strippers from overseas, what is he doing about ensuring that these sorts of skills are taught at home? Not much, evidently.
How often have we heard politicians demanding that our schools be more competitive? How often have we had our students' test scores compared to those of kids from, say, Japan? It's seen as nothing less than a national crisis when we hear that some children in Tokyo have done better on a fractions test than some students in a classroom in Toronto. But when people from overseas beat us, pants down, in the stripping competition, no one seems to care.
Perhaps, to be fair, stripping is a skill that simply does not come naturally to Canadians, male or female. We have become so accustomed to layering that removing clothing goes against everything we know.
Many strip clubs, to their credit, have been willing to let Canadians audition. But by the time most locals have finished their act, you can hardly see the dancers onstage, hidden as they are by parkas, snowpants, and fur-trimmed boots.
"There seems to be," said one strip club owner, "a lack of understanding of the process. They start their act in a skirt and blouse and heels, and by the time they're done, they're ready to go snowboarding."
It may not be that taking off one's clothes offends Canadians' sensibilities. It may not be a moral issue at all. We may not like to take off our clothes because once we do, we're cold, especially when you do it in a big, open room. And it may not even be that we're incompetent when it comes to the intricacies of undoing laces and buttons and zippers and snaps. It's just that it's very hard to do that sort of detail work when you're wearing Thinsulate gloves.
It's possible we may never be able to compete against the Romanians, if it's true that they send their kids to school in winter without mitts or scarves as a way of preparing them for a better life someday in Canada.
So let's just cut Judy Sgro and her office some slack. If we're not willing to tackle the tough jobs ourselves, we can't go blaming those who make sure there's someone here to do them.
Regards,
After surviving the horror of the singing bellybuttons, I'd say we're ready for anything.
---must be the aging population or something. About twenty five years ago , I had a discussion with a "dancer" in a Vancouver, BC, nude joint who was a farm girl from Alberta who indicated that most of her contemporaries were the same --farm girls looking for a way off the farm.
Headline:
Need we say more?
I've been in clubs in Windsor (in my younger days), looked around at the action in the dark recesses, and expected the vice squad to bust in at any time. Never happens, though.
Had my bachelor party at Club Saphire (I think that's the name- new, gigantic club). Vegas might be my favorite place in the world.
yeah... I guess that was kinda what I thought... I just get amazed that some people can be so blatent about it.
Geesh, your standards are high! I, personally, would be satisfied if they could dance in 5" stilletos... ;-)
The one-inch Sorrels I wouldn't mind too much either...
Anybody who says "Oh, Lord, help me," except in the sense of the young St. Augustine, probably shouldn't be on the list...
"as well as border towns like Niagara and Windsor.
Or so I've been told."
Sarnia, too. Or so I've been told.
Is a Candian male a HOSER...and a Canadian female a HOSERETTE?
Or are they ALL just HOSERS up there?
The article is a satire, but the scandal is true.
We could send them Bill Clinton, he knpws how to pull a zipper down: Of course he doesnt know how to keep one up.
One day after 9-11 I volunteered to assist U.S. Customs on the Detroit side of the Tunnel on a Saturday night/Sunday morning midnight shift. Between 3-4 am quite a few carloads of girls admitted to being on the way back from Danny's.
The most accurate gauge of a socity's decline is it's de-population activities, and judging by Canada's promotion of abortion, birth-control, low fertility rates and overall stupidity, I'd say the Canucks won't be around much longer, 100 years tops.
Forgot about Sarnia. That's where we used to go when I was living in Rochester Hills.
It doesn't even get that far. Is it just me, or did he not even know what to do once the zipper came down?
Or so I've been told.
Modernman, why doesn't it surprise me you would know things like that ?
But seriously, isn't the Canadian stripper shortage probably due to something more prosaic ? Once when I was in Alberta for a month, I noticed how many blondes there were. Blondes are not native in large numbers to the cities of blue America. They have to be imported from the heartland. So a Canadian blonde's prospects are better in New York or LA where she will command a trophy premium than they would be back home where blondes are plentiful.
Fort Worth, Texas does not have such a problem. You cannot swing a dead cat over your head without hitting a tittie bar or totally nude strip joint. I was just days away from buying one there when I was busted by a Joint Customs/FBI/DEA Task Force. As a 90% cash business, it was perfect money laundering opportunity.
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