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Stripper shortage a national disgrace
The Toronto Star ^ | Dec 2, 2004 | Linwood Barclay

Posted on 12/01/2004 2:30:28 PM PST by JusPasenThru

Rather than give Immigration Minister Judy Sgro a hard time about whether or not she greased the pole, as it were, to fast-track the process to allow a Romanian stripper to stay in Canada, we need to be taking a look at the bigger issue: Why is Canada unable to meet the demand for exotic dancers on its own?

What is lacking in our national character that we cannot turn out enough people who can figure out how to take off their clothes? Are we so lacking in skills that we do not know how to pull down a zipper, unhook a bra, unsnap a garter, or roll down a stocking? Is it not a source of national shame that we must import people to do this kind of work? What does this say about us?

Nothing good, I think.

Who knew things would get so bad that Ottawa would have to come up with a stripper visa program to deal with the shortage of exotic dancers in this country? Last year, 500 Romanian women got such visas, and thank heavens they did, otherwise thousands of Canadian men would have had spend their household grocery money on booze without any entertainment to help justify it.

The opposition parties up in Ottawa are trying to discredit the Liberal immigration minister and members of her staff for allegedly meeting with strip club owners wanting help with this problem, and for a ministerial permit Sgro supposedly gave a Romanian stripper who worked on her election campaign. If Stephen Harper thinks we shouldn't be bringing in strippers from overseas, what is he doing about ensuring that these sorts of skills are taught at home? Not much, evidently.

How often have we heard politicians demanding that our schools be more competitive? How often have we had our students' test scores compared to those of kids from, say, Japan? It's seen as nothing less than a national crisis when we hear that some children in Tokyo have done better on a fractions test than some students in a classroom in Toronto. But when people from overseas beat us, pants down, in the stripping competition, no one seems to care.

Perhaps, to be fair, stripping is a skill that simply does not come naturally to Canadians, male or female. We have become so accustomed to layering that removing clothing goes against everything we know.

Many strip clubs, to their credit, have been willing to let Canadians audition. But by the time most locals have finished their act, you can hardly see the dancers onstage, hidden as they are by parkas, snowpants, and fur-trimmed boots.

"There seems to be," said one strip club owner, "a lack of understanding of the process. They start their act in a skirt and blouse and heels, and by the time they're done, they're ready to go snowboarding."

It may not be that taking off one's clothes offends Canadians' sensibilities. It may not be a moral issue at all. We may not like to take off our clothes because once we do, we're cold, especially when you do it in a big, open room. And it may not even be that we're incompetent when it comes to the intricacies of undoing laces and buttons and zippers and snaps. It's just that it's very hard to do that sort of detail work when you're wearing Thinsulate gloves.

It's possible we may never be able to compete against the Romanians, if it's true that they send their kids to school in winter without mitts or scarves as a way of preparing them for a better life someday in Canada.

So let's just cut Judy Sgro and her office some slack. If we're not willing to tackle the tough jobs ourselves, we can't go blaming those who make sure there's someone here to do them.


TOPICS: News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: canucks; shortage; stripper
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To: RockinRight
Canada is the holy land of strip clubs. Especially Montreal and Toronto, as well as border towns like Niagara and Windsor.

Fully nude, touchable lap dances for $20 Canadian. An international supply of talent. And, in various clubs in Montreal, "Full Service."

Or so I've been told.

21 posted on 12/01/2004 2:40:42 PM PST by Modernman (Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. --Benjamin Franklin)
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To: Modernman

Ah yes, the "Windsor Ballet."


22 posted on 12/01/2004 2:41:21 PM PST by dfwgator (It's sad that the news media treats Michael Jackson better than our military.)
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To: Former Proud Canadian
In that case I will have to qoute Homer Simpson on this one.....

D'OH!

I can imagine it being a scandal essentially it looks like the are trying to find excuses to bring more foreigners into the country through other means then the normal immigration process. I for the life of my cannot understand that kind of logic.

23 posted on 12/01/2004 2:42:29 PM PST by Americanwolf (www.geocities.com/arizonapatriots/ArizonaPatriots.html.. Serving those who serve us.)
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To: Americanwolf

Well, if a country is going to have more immigrants, they should at least be hot and know how to dance in 5' stilletoes.


24 posted on 12/01/2004 2:44:20 PM PST by Modernman (Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. --Benjamin Franklin)
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To: JusPasenThru
This really came from The Onion...right? Yes?

Bread and Circus. And the beat goes on.

25 posted on 12/01/2004 2:44:59 PM PST by PistolPaknMama (Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that -- Mark Twain)
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To: JusPasenThru

I can't even believe that I just read this:

>>>>What is lacking in our national character that we cannot turn out enough people who can figure out how to take off their clothes? Are we so lacking in skills that we do not know how to pull down a zipper, unhook a bra, unsnap a garter, or roll down a stocking? Is it not a source of national shame that we must import people to do this kind of work? What does this say about us?<<<<

Words fail me!


26 posted on 12/01/2004 2:45:02 PM PST by Calpernia (Breederville.com)
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To: Modernman

How come wideawake isn't over saying something about Salome? :)


27 posted on 12/01/2004 2:45:28 PM PST by Tijeras_Slim (I'm here because I'm not all there.)
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To: JusPasenThru

And our next gathering will feature LIVE STRIPPERS! ('Cause let's face it...dead ones just aren't any fun.)


28 posted on 12/01/2004 2:46:20 PM PST by Prime Choice (I like Democrats, too. Let's exchange recipes.)
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To: Tijeras_Slim

I'm sitting here posting in a pair of Sorels I bought in Colorado a few years ago.

With those, a skidoo suit, and a tuque, you're good for 40 below!


29 posted on 12/01/2004 2:46:24 PM PST by headsonpikes (Another five-fingered Canadian... ;^))
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To: Modernman

Strip Club news is always of interest to me in Las Vegas. So much fun, so much lovable corruption.


30 posted on 12/01/2004 2:46:31 PM PST by FastCoyote
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To: reagan_fanatic
Already posted here.

You're sending the DU lurkers into infinite recursion, you know.

31 posted on 12/01/2004 2:46:58 PM PST by FredZarguna (Free markets. Free Speech. Free Minds. But no Free Lunch.)
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To: PistolPaknMama
This really came from The Onion...right? Yes?

Nope. And it seems my father was right yet again. Long ago he told me that the older I got, the more the line between reality and satire would blur. The man was wise beyond his years...

32 posted on 12/01/2004 2:47:37 PM PST by Prime Choice (I like Democrats, too. Let's exchange recipes.)
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To: Modernman

You know I would argue that point with you, but I just can't see to find anything wrong with it. :)


33 posted on 12/01/2004 2:48:26 PM PST by Americanwolf (www.geocities.com/arizonapatriots/ArizonaPatriots.html.. Serving those who serve us.)
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To: Billthedrill
Helen Thomas prancing nekkid in a toque. Is Canada ready for that? Are we?

No society is ready for that. Not even Quebec.

34 posted on 12/01/2004 2:48:55 PM PST by FredZarguna (Free markets. Free Speech. Free Minds. But no Free Lunch.)
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To: JusPasenThru

So this solves two problems at once.

The Liberals attempting to migrate will at least have some offers in a field where are experts.

Problem is, there won't be any clients for them after they see or smell them.


35 posted on 12/01/2004 2:49:08 PM PST by Only1choice____Freedom ("Do not pray for tasks equal to your powers; pray for powers equal to your tasks,"-President Bush)
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To: TheBigB

Oh, Lord, help me, I'm one of you... Put me on your ping list.


36 posted on 12/01/2004 2:49:12 PM PST by nicollo
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To: Tijeras_Slim

Here now, what's this aboot?

37 posted on 12/01/2004 2:49:19 PM PST by Prime Choice (I like Democrats, too. Let's exchange recipes.)
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To: Redcloak

That was funny! I clicked the link and got confused. Good one :)


38 posted on 12/01/2004 2:49:27 PM PST by Calpernia (Breederville.com)
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To: Americanwolf

The Liberal party runs Canada. Immigrants generally vote liberal. They are importing votes. Simple, eh?


39 posted on 12/01/2004 2:49:50 PM PST by Former Proud Canadian (.)
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To: Prime Choice
('Cause let's face it...dead ones just aren't any fun.)

Yup. As an example, see "Very Bad Things."

40 posted on 12/01/2004 2:50:13 PM PST by Modernman (Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. --Benjamin Franklin)
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