Lost an Old Friend Today. Politics and the Personal

11.24.04 | mlmr

[mlmr]

I lost an old friend today. No, she didn't die. She screamed at me for my many-year metmorphisis from rad-liberal to conservative. She doesn't understand why I have changed, and is unable to listen because she is filled with bile, anger and hate. She wishes Bush evil and hates US policy. She has turned into a Michal Moore robot.

We have not been close friends for many years but I did enjoy keeping in touch. Because of our thirty year history I have treated the friendship gingerly but with great fondness.

Politics is hell.

[BigEdLB]

My wife, from Russia, is a naturalized citizen who has cast her two Presidential votes in a "W" fashion. As a small business owner, and seeing terror for what it is, she could make no other choice...

"No Russian leader would go over and visit troops in a war zone on a holiday...", she says.

Our son was baptized in the local Russian Orthodox Church, (I had no objection - even with my Protestant background - Christian is Christian) The God-Parents were a Russian Couple who my wife had become friendly with - neighbors a couple of block away. We don't discuss politics.

I think the main problem is that they read the "LA Times" thouroughly. News through left tinted glasses. Nonetheless we avoid politics...

[kalee]

My grandmother, to her dying day, proudly proclaimed that she was an FDR Democrat. She couldn't believe that my mother had married a Republican, had become one herself and had raised children who were also Republicans. The funny thing about my grandmother.....she never voted, not once, in her long life! She's gone now and I miss her, but I am glad she didn't see Clinton, Gore, and Kerry and what they have done to her Party. They would have broken her heart! She was truly a lady and I know they would have embarrassed her. During the 60's when the expression let it all hang out was popular, she always responded "why should we let it all hang out, it has taken centuries to stuff it all in".

[cupcakes]

Sorry to hear. I reconnected with a few friends from high school and lost all but 2 because of politics. One friend in particular was in a very dangerous lifestyle and it had shocked me how low he had gotten so I decided just a few days after talking online again to tell him politely that it was nice to talk to him again, but we would not be able to maintain a friendship. Things had just changed way too much.
I am so grateful to God, I've never endured this with my best friend since middle school. We are both Lutheran and conservative into our 30's now. I guess it pays to meet people in church;-)

Anyway, mlmr, people don't like change. It is no wonder your friend is resistant. It is very threatening to her beliefs I suppose that someone who was "like her" has gone to the "darkside".

[Wolverine]

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[APFel]

I currently have a friend like this. A few years ago, before he met his wife, he was the only single guy in our old circle of friends, and spent many weekends home alone.

So I started inviting him over very often. After a while, he started calling and asking if he could come over, and I always said he was welcome in our home. If my wife and I had plans, we always had room for him (unless it was a special "date night"). He sat through many of our rented movies, logged many hours on my spare PC playing games over the network, and we drank lots of beer together. We talked politics, sure, but it was always an exchange of ideas and we accepted each others opinions and we kept our cool.

I used to do his computer repair and was always willing to help him out when he needed me. I drove him to the airport, lent him a car when his was busted, and gave him a helping hand whenever he needed it. I didn't pity him for his loneliness, I simply believed that that was what friends did for each other.

A few years ago, he found a wife from Poland. I saw a whole lot less of him and now he never comes over. I think that his wife hates my politics, and frankly, doesn't care for me as a person.

Now the only time I hear from him is when something "bad" happens to the Republicans or GWB. He actually calls to rub it in. However, despite his fluency in four languages and his triple college degree, I always get the best of him in these hostile "debates". The accusations start pretty mild, then move further to the left as I swat him down. He goes from Rather to Moore to Chomsky to Howard Dean at the speed of light. Whenever I ask him to articulate his accusations, he can't. Last time we had one of these sessions, I started laughing in his face because after a particularly wild statement that I countered, he replied "I don't know". It was rude and I felt awful about it later. However, I believe that faith has a very limited role when it comes to politics, and if there are no facts, the argument is worthless.

Truth be told, I hate hearing from him now. I don't return his calls anymore. After a dozen sparring matches with him in the last year, I find it gets a bit tiring. I don't need it anymore. It's particularly bad because I give him such a beating every time, and I find myself teetering between boredom and annoyance while I listen to him.

So what I am trying to say is that I sympathize with you, the sound of a friendship breaking so abruptly sounds worse than the twisting steel and broken glass in an auto accident.

So... good luck, I guess.

APf

[TheGeezer]

My childhood buddies married liberal harpies who made getting together for dinner a nightmare. Unable to remain silent at our gatherings, I finally simply stopped trying to get together with them. And you know what? It was not a problem: I had always been the one setting up our "dates". When I got tired of the bilge, the relationships ended, and my wife and I are the better for it.

[investigateworld]

LOL !!!!

[SWAMPSNIPER]

OH,Yeah! Been there, done that! How about three email death threats?
There was some particular reason why THIS election was critical to Them, it is as though a door would only open for a short time, but We kept it closed. I know that as a Conservative I am considered to be a "hater", but Lord Have Mercy, I have never felt so much hate in My life!
It is more than a "cultural divide". There may indeed be several subspecies of Homo Sapiens, not sharing much in common at all.

[mlmr]

I didn't and dont. She refused not to talk about it.

[mlmr]

I will reboot this thread over the weekend to see how the war stories go. on

[mlmr]

I will reboot this thread over the weekend to see how the war stories go. on

[woofie]

Im waiting for the liberal to arrive

[Benrand]

I lost a friend as well, she went ballistic over the election and just lost it.

Oh well.

[mlmr]

She will refrain from mentioning politics, religion, etc. or she will go home with the turkey on her head like a helmet.

Best line of the thread!

[Monti Cello]

My advice:

1. Keep happy. (Of course you have reason to be) DO NOT let a liberal ruin your Thanksgiving -- they can ruin their own if they feel the need, but don't let 'em drag you down. Remember you can always agree to disagree and then go talk to someone more agreeable.

2. Speak to first principles and use basic logic, not the partisan talking points of the day. More than likely, your lib counterpart is working from the DNC script which of course means the MSM. If you find yourself discussing the Saudi Royal family you have already lost. If that subject comes up, just look at your counterpart a little askew, like they honestly know jack squat about the Saudi royal family, c'mon! Make them respond to the logical conclusions of obvious points you both agree on. If they haven't heard it on TV it'll probably throw 'em for a loop.

3. If you are trying to keep the peace, the passive-aggressive approach is almost ideal. Play rope-a-dope, let 'em go nutzo with more wild conspiracy arguments, while you crack another beer and have a chuckle. Remember, they lost, they have the burden of proof, and you've got a fresh beer. That's win-win-win. And hey it worked for Dubya, it'll work for you too!

[McGavin999]

It's a sad fact of life these days. I've lost a number of "friends" who have gone off the deep end. I look at it this way, it's sort of like thinking france was an allie. We all knew they would never stand with us when we needed them, so why bother with the charade. It's the same with these so-called friends.

[mlmr]

You know bringing this to FreeRepublic is great. I hear the experiences of many like me, and some sage and sometimes funny advice. Thank you FREEPERS!

[Chieftain]

Hopefully she paid for the call!

If she calls again, I would say to her immediately, before she a word: "Sorry but the person you want to verbally abuse has decided against it. Goodbye." and then hang up.

Life is too short to waste another moment with an idiot.

[mlmr]

We all knew they would never stand with us when we needed them, so why bother with the charade.

I like the way you phrase that.