Posted on 11/18/2004 8:00:41 PM PST by tomkow6
......anybody here?...hello????? Wherz Tomkow?....gone...yeah, but where is he?....he's moved Chicago to Canada, remember?.....heheheheh...is he crazy?.....NO! WE are!...giggle..giggle...what we gonna do today??.......I don't know; what do you wanna do?...who?...who do?..voodoo!....wanna pick on REDNECKS?..........yeah!....where's Hondo?? Welcome to REDNECK Camp RUN-A-MUK! The BAR is OPEN! We've got Eye candy...Mind candy...and Chicken soup for the soul! Today, we're going to take a loving look at We interrupt today's opening for a very important message..... Gratuities are NOT expected at Camp Run-A-Muk.. They are REQUIRED!! We return you now to our regularly scheduled opening..... JUST WHO IS A REDNECK? Jeff Foxworthy explains.... Whether you like it or not, BY GUM, YOU MIGHT JUST BE A REDNECK!!! We interrupt AGAIN for a very important message..... Fawnn, Fawnn's Sister, AND their MOM have teamed up to present us with a musical treat: We return you now to our regularly scheduled opening..... You must admit, REDNECKS do things just a little different...
Jeff Foxworthy - Games Rednecks Play
And now, for a personal favorite of mine.....Naked Eating Cheetos Rednecks also have their own Operating System: Have you ever seen Hondo's Tattoo??? Jeff Foxworthy - Grocery Store And now, a poem for Ms Feather! Collards is green, my dawg's name is Blue Do you know any of these sweet, wonderful people? This thread is NOT meant to offend anyone! No rabbits were harmed in any way in the construction of this thread! Does this burka make my butt look big? Help keep TomKow6 off the streets! |
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I pledge allegiance to the Flag
of the United States of America,
and to the Republic, for which it stands;
one nation UNDER GOD,
indivisible,
with liberty and justice for all.
SALUTE!
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1st!!!
Good morning, Tonk! Good morning, Canteen Crew! Good morning, EVERYBODY!
TROOPS!
No, 5th!
Today's FEEBLE
YOKE :
In the back woods of Arkansas, a redneck's wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery. Since there was no electricity, the doctor handed the father-to-be a lantern and said, "Here, you hold this high so I can see what I am doing."
Soon, a baby boy was brought into the world. "Whoa there "said the doctor, "don't be in such a rush to put that lantern down. I think there's another one coming." Sure enough, within minutes, he had delivered a baby girl. "Hold that lantern up, don't set it down, there's another one!" said the doctor. Within a few minutes he had delivered another baby girl.
"No, no, don't be in a hurry to put down that lantern! It seems there's yet another one coming!! " cried the doctor. The redneck scratched his head in bewilderment, and asked the doctor,
"Ya reckon the light's attractin 'em?"
Thanks Bro!
Mornin', everybody ! Happy Whacky Friday! TGIF!![]()
Have a cup while you Freep !
For those who prefer hot chocolate.....
No 1st!
Don't you argue with me.
Snappy Answer #1
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket, and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub."
Snappy Answer #2
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
Snappy Answer #3
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day", the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
Snappy Answer #4
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads low bridge ahead." Before he knows it the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."
Snappy Answer #5
THE TEACHER Snappy Answer OF THE YEAR
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear
attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asks, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."
BONUS Snappy Answer
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. He friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?" "Helloooooooooooooooooo" answered the blonde." They're watch dogs!"
Can't get enough? The BEST is LAST!
A pompous minister was seated next to a TEXAN on a flight to Dallas. After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The TEXAN asked for a whiskey and soda, which was brought and placed before him. The flight attendant then asked the minister if he would like a drink. He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely raped by ten whores than let liquor touch my lips." The TEXAN looked at the minister, then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "I didn't know we had a choice."
ROFL - great thread Tom!!
Evenin', DBR!
DoD Announces Recommended Holiday Mail Dates
http://www.defenselink.mil/releases/2004/nr20041028-1450.html
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