Skip to comments.Michael Moore gives `17 Reasons Not to Slit Your Wrists` Over Election Results
Posted on 11/05/2004 7:04:50 PM PST by Joe Taranto
Michael Moore has broken his post-election silence in two messages posted on his website.
The first, posted Thursday, listed his first thoughts after the election, which turned out to be the names of all who died on September 11. He ended the post by asking them to forgive us.
A second message was posted today entitled 17 Reasons Not to Slit Your Wrists, in which he tries, to no avail, to put a positive spin on the election results for liberals around the country.
The Reasons include that George W. Bush cannot run again, that he had a narrow victory and that polls on the issues of the countrys direction and the War with Iraq are still not in the Presidents favor.
Bush is now a lame duck president, said Moore. He will have no greater moment than the one he's having this week.
Moore criticizes the presidents vacationing in several points, and says that if he does decide to show up to work that one of two scenarios will take place. According to Moore, Bush will let go of his Christian conservative backing because he no longer needs them for re-election, and he will spend the next four years building a legacy.
The second scenario, according to Moore, is that he will commit a blunder of such major proportions that even the Republican majority in Congress will force him out of office.
Moore goes on to theorize on the direction of America, and how the liberal base in our nation is becoming stronger.
Over 55 million Americans voted for the candidate dubbed The #1 Liberal in the Senate, said Moore, who also stressed that more people voted for Kerry than Reagan.
What he fails to mention is that voter turnout in this election was the highest since 1968, and that likely contributed to the record-breaking vote numbers of both Bush and Kerry, not a growing liberal mood in America.
Moore also minimizes the support of White males to the Bush campaign saying that in 50 years, America will no longer have a white majority, and therefore, there will be a smaller chance of a Republican president.
Moore fills up the rest of his space with points on the Senate races, gay marriage, the Bush twins, and College Football. He also gives an analysis of the Blue States in this election, which was completely meaningless.
In conclusion, Michael Moores post-election thoughts reminded Americans why we were lucky to have President Bush in office on September 11, 2001. There has not been another terrorist attack since, and that list which he uses almost exploitatively, has thankfully not grown in three years.
Rather than giving uplifting news to Kerry supporters, Moore simply appeared as a sore loser. In this election, he came to represent an increasingly liberal Democratic party, and that image may have ultimately brought Kerry down on Election Day.
Those reasons apply to everyone but Mikey. Just Do it!
He'll need an eskimo to help him get thru all that blubber.
I say that we stop giving Michael Moore any of our attention. He is a worthless slob and he is going right into the fires of hell when he dies.
Maybe we should start a thread entitled "17 reasons why the search function is your friend"...
Massive Mike doesn't want to lose any of the Kool Aid crowd before they've had a chance to contribute again to his vast personal fortune when his next "movie" comes out.
Micheal Moore is the living embodiement of "Comic Book Guy" from the Simpsons.
Worst. Filmmaker. Ever.
The groundhog thread...
It's like, "Deja Vu all over again"...
Moore drools. The Bush's rule!!
Bush is now a lame duck president, said Moore. He will have no greater moment than the one he's having this week.
And four years to kick your ass.
And since Axis Mikey luvs photomosaics, here is one he should appreciate:
I know I've seen that quote before. mmmmm mabey on the fourth or fifth time this thread was posted?
"(alarm) I got you babe... (alarm) I got you babe... (alarm) I got you babe...(alarm) I got your babe..."
I appreciate your reversal of the portrait painted by Mooreon. However, I presume that you used the pics Moore had - those of our dead heroes. I hope I am wrong. Please post that fact and where the composite mosaic pics are from. Thank you
Moore's 17 reasons losers (Democrats & other liberals) shouldn't slash their wrists, and why they're 17 STUPID reasons (but hey, give the hairy slob credit for being an optimist):
1. It is against the law for George W. Bush to run for president again.
RESPONSE: Same for the man who couldn't keep his pants zipped in the oval office. And the Democrats have no leadership on the horizon, while the Republicans have up-and-comers all over the place.
2. Bush's victory was the NARROWEST win for a sitting president since Woodrow Wilson in 1916.
RESPONSE: A win's a win and a loss is a loss. Your side lost. Deal with it.
3. The only age group in which the majority voted for Kerry was young adults (Kerry: 54%, Bush: 44%), proving once again that your parents are always wrong and you should never listen to them.
RESPONSE: Which shows only that as people get older, they get wiser. And they show up to vote more often.
4. In spite of Bush's win, the majority of Americans still think the country is headed in the wrong direction (56%), think the war wasn't worth fighting (51%), and dont approve of the job George W. Bush is doing (52%). (Note to foreigners: Don't try to figure this one out. It's an American thing, like Pop Tarts.)
RESPONSE: But apparently, a majority of Americans think the direction change Kerry would have made would have been WORSE. Note to the French - some people in the U.S. are so stupid that they've watched the Oil for Food scandal and STILL thought Kerry's plan to involve the UN in Iraq and elsewhere was a good idea, so we still have people capable of being sucked in by you folks who've been the kind of friends no one really needs.
5. The Republicans will not have a filibuster-proof 60-seat majority in the Senate. If the Democrats do their job, Bush won't be able to pack the Supreme Court with right-wing ideologues. Did I say "if the Democrats do their job?" Um, maybe better to scratch this one.
RESPONSE: Yeah, don't count on it. However, take heart - trying to appoint judges with a predictable direction down the road has proven time and time again to be a fool's goal.
6. Michigan voted for Kerry! So did the entire Northeast, the birthplace of our democracy. So did 6 of the 8 Great Lakes States. And the whole West Coast! Plus Hawaii. Ok, that's a start. We've got most of the fresh water, all of Broadway, and Mt. St. Helens. We can dehydrate them or bury them in lava. And no more show tunes!
RESPONSE: Really? Look at the USA Today county by county map. Kerry only won small areas even in the few states he won. Like in CA, where he basically won the area of LA to San Fran.
7. Once again we are reminded that the buckeye is a nut, and not just any old nut -- a poisonous nut. A great nation was felled by a poisonous nut. May Ohio State pay dearly this Saturday when it faces Michigan.
RESPONSE: This is a reason not to slash your wrists? Do you even know what you're saying?
8. 88% of Bush's support came from white voters. In 50 years, America will no longer have a white majority. Hey, 50 years isn't such a long time! If you're ten years old and reading this, your golden years will be truly golden and you will be well cared for in your old age. RESPONSE: You really think this is a plus? Have you noticed the lack of drive in the average black and Hispanic neighborhoods? Do you realize the reason we have so many illegal immigrants is that low income Americans would rather live on welfare or sell drugs than take low paying jobs and work their way up? This is a HUGE problem - have you been to Mexico? Contrary to the popular concept of the lazy Mexican, most of the people I saw there were willing to do whatever it took to get ahead, including work their butts off. The U.S. used to be like this, but no more. Do you think that the same people who don't want to work to get ahead are going to lead the country in the right direction? Highly unlikely.
And don't even think about calling me a racist. I have black friends I think the world of, my family has good friends in Mexico where my daugher was an exchange student and my son rooms with his best friend in college - a black guy from the DC area. And this young black man is going far in his life - he has a vision and he will accomplish what he sets out to do. Just like other minorities can do if they stop feeling sorry for themselves and listening to jesse jackson, al sharpton, and YOU.
9. Gays, thanks to the ballot measures passed on Tuesday, cannot get married in 11 new states. Thank God. Just think of all those wedding gifts we won't have to buy now. RESPONSE: This is a reason not to slash your wrists? Does this belong on this list?
10. Five more African Americans were elected as members of Congress, including the return of Cynthia McKinney of Georgia. It's always good to have more blacks in there fighting for us and doing the job our candidates can't.
RESPONSE: Hey, I'm glad there are black Americans in Congress. But NOT McKinney. She's a NUT. I guess you don't know this woman's record. She endorses Robert Mugabe of Zimbabwe and his lunatic fringe means of starving his people to death and generally running the country into the ground. But it's OK, because it's a black guy killing and ruining black people. It's only bad if a white guy does it. It's funny though, that you only approve of black people in government when they're Democrats. Otherwise, they're only white people in blackface. I.E. Clarence Thomas, Condoleeza Rice, and Colin Powell.
11. The CEO of Coors was defeated for Senate in Colorado. Drink up!
RESPONSE: And this is a reason not to slash your wrists because.......?
12. Admit it: We like the Bush twins and we don't want them to go away.
RESPONSE: Yeah, they're cute. We won't talk about the Kerry girls, or the Kerry women's foul mouths.
13. At the state legislative level, Democrats picked up a net of at least 3 chambers in Tuesday's elections. Of the 98 partisan-controlled state legislative chambers (house/assembly and senate), Democrats went into the 2004 elections in control of 44 chambers, Republicans controlled 53 chambers, and 1 chamber was tied. After Tuesday, Democrats now control 47 chambers, Republicans control 49 chambers, 1 chamber is tied and 1 chamber (Montana House) is still undecided.
RESPONSE; Big whoop, they're still in the minority. And besides, LOCAL politics tends to be much more conservative than Fed politics, so conservative decisions will be made in most of the Democratic controlled legislatures.
14. Bush is now a lame duck president. He will have no greater moment than the one he's having this week. It's all downhill for him from here on out -- and, more significantly, he's just not going to want to do all the hard work that will be expected of him. It'll be like everyone's last month in 12th grade -- you've already made it, so it's party time! Perhaps he'll treat the next four years like a permanent Friday, spending even more time at the ranch or in Kennebunkport. And why shouldn't he? He's already proved his point, avenged his father and kicked our ass.
RESPONSE: History shows that lame duck presidents are much less restrained than in their first term. Bush has a vision, and will now take a more determined approach because he's not concerned about reelection. On the other hand, unlike most presidents, I'm not too sure this one was EVER really concerned about reelection until it was time to actually run a campaign. He never made the easy decisions that would have helped his reelection effort. Now he may do what no president has been willing to do - reform Social Security in a way that protects it for everyone. Maybe you think, however, that putting money in the stock market is risky? How is that more risky than not having a real fund AT ALL and just spending every nickel that's paid into SS?
15. Should Bush decide to show up to work and take this country down a very dark road, it is also just as likely that either of the following two scenarios will happen: a) Now that he doesn't ever need to pander to the Christian conservatives again to get elected, someone may whisper in his ear that he should spend these last four years building "a legacy" so that history will render a kinder verdict on him and thus he will not push for too aggressive a right-wing agenda; or b) He will become so cocky and arrogant -- and thus, reckless -- that he will commit a blunder of such major proportions that even his own party will have to remove him from office.
RESPONSE: Do you not understand? Bush IS a Christian conservative, he believes in what he does and says, and he doesn't NEED to pander. CLINTON was the guy who spent his whole presidency worrying about a legacy, and he got one - 9/11, which got a good start when Clinton chickened out in Somalia.
16. There are nearly 300 million Americans -- 200 million of them of voting age. We only lost by three and a half million! That's not a landslide -- it means we're almost there. Imagine losing by 20 million. If you had 58 yards to go before you reached the goal line and then you barreled down 55 of those yards, would you stop on the three yard line, pick up the ball and go home crying -- especially when you get to start the next down on the three yard line? Of course not! Buck up! Have hope! More sports analogies are coming!!!
RESPONSE: the final solution for Democrats is to tax 49% of the people in America and get the other 51% to vote for the Democrat that will do it.
17. Finally and most importantly, over 55 million Americans voted for the candidate dubbed "The #1 Liberal in the Senate." That's more than the total number of voters who voted for either Reagan, Bush I, Clinton or Gore. Again, more people voted for Kerry than Reagan. If the media are looking for a trend it should be this -- that so many Americans were, for the first time since Kennedy, willing to vote for an out-and-out liberal. The country has always been filled with evangelicals -- that is not news. What IS news is that so many people have shifted toward a Massachusetts liberal. In fact, that's BIG news. Which means, don't expect the mainstream media, the ones who brought you the Iraq War, to ever report the real truth about November 2, 2004. In fact, it's better that they don't. We'll need the element of surprise in 2008.
RESPONSE: It's FEWER than voted for George Bush. That's the only comparison that's relevent.
Now regarding voting for the most liberal Senator - remember to get as far as he did, Kerry had to run from his record. If he'd run ON his record, he'd have been blown out of the water (ha ha ha, good analogy under the circumstances, right?)
Besides, many of the people who voted for Kerry didn't even like the guy or agree with him. They voted against Bush due to Iraq. Take Iraq out of the equation, and Bush would have won by 5-10%. You won't have Iraq next time.
Moore's final point: Feeling better? I hope so. As my friend Mort wrote me yesterday, "My Romanian grandfather used to say to me, 'Remember, Morton, this is such a wonderful country -- it doesn't even need a president!'"
RESPONSE: Michael - your grandfather was RIGHT. Maybe, even if that's the only point we can agree on, we can find some common ground and work together to make it better.
It would be the FReep by which all other FReeps would be measured.
He shouldn't try to find reasons for liberals not to slit their wrists; they should go ahead and slit 'em.
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