Posted on 09/26/2004 5:54:15 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson
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5, 6:
The girl in the back: "Whata schmuck, he thinks itsa beer, hahaha (I still have some more left, gotta hold it.)"
"Hey man, could you pass that Del Monte catsup for my fries?"
CAPTION: "Oh, garcon, I ordered a bottle of 1954 Chateau D'Yquem, well chilled. You gave me this horrid yellow stuff."
L0L! BwaaHaaaHaaaa
Guy in white T-shirt: "Yes, that's right... I have a US Senator who is running for President sitting beside me a few weeks before the election in my local bar, and I'd rather watch what's on TV than talk to him. Why do you ask?"
"So, Joey, have you ever seen a grown man naked?"
LOL!
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That's not beer ... that's Zima!
Kerry humor ping
The Night John Kerry Died
Oh the night that John Kerry's campaign died, is a night I'll never forget
All of the Democrats got loaded drunk, and they ain't got sober yet;
'Course they didn't need a bottle for every man to be a feelin' gay
Barney Frank came with Teddy Kennedy and his boys, some sad music for to play
Even though they had no respect for John Kerry
Though he was dishonoured, they were still filled with foolish pride;
They loved their sin and shame and they winked at one another
And every drink in the place was full the night John Kerry died
As Mrs. Kerry-Once-Again-Heinz stood on a table pouring out her grief
Carville and his gang came tearing down the street
Tallying and retallying the votes they'd stole
That they hadn't stolen enough left them feeling out of power cold
About two o'clock in the morning after empty'ing the jug
Sandy Berger rolled up his socks to prove he wasn't bugged
They stopped the 60 Minutes clock so Mike McCurry couldn't tell the time
And at a quarter after two they argued the polls wouldn't close in St. Louis til nine
They stopped the hearse on George Bush Street outside the GOP Saloon
They all went in at half past eight and staggered out like usual, buffoons
They went up to the graveyard, acting crazy like the Wellstone time
Found out when they got there, they'd left all credibility behind!
Oh the night that John Kerry died, is a night I'll never forget
All of the Democrats got loaded drunk and they ain't been sober yet;
'Course they didn't need a bottle for every man to be a feelin' gay
Barney Frank came with Teddy Kennedy and his boys, some sad music for to play
KEY
verse/chorus:
EV
"Joey, do you like movies about gladiators? They're GREAT!"
Kerry walks into a bar with a big grin on his face. So the bartender says to him, "Hey buddy, why're you so happy?". Kerry says, "I just found out what fellatio was!". So the bartender says, "Congratulations! Tell you what, first drink's on me!" And Kerry says, "Hey, thanks! Do you have something to get this awful taste out of my mouth?"
g
(From HERE.)
KERRY TOO 'FRENCH' TO SWAY 'ADOLESCENT' AMERICANS: CONSULTANT
US presidential hopeful John Kerry needs to stop acting so French if he wants to win the race for the White House, a French-born, US-based consultant and "medical anthropologist" says.
"Kerry's trouble is that he is simply not the common man," Clotaire Rapaille, who's been contacted by Kerry's campaign team for advice, told the Sunday Telegraph newspaper.
In the wake of the US-led war on Iraq, which France opposed, the Democratic hopeful's command of the French language, plus his background in France and Switzerland, could be a real liability among US voters, he said.
.....
Rapaille, author of the forthcoming book "Archetypes of the President," specialises in psychoanalysing cultures. His expertise is sought out by major US corporations, and he's often interviewed in US media on mass culture.
Besides dropping the French connection, Rapaille suggested that Kerry take fewer holidays, start giving "one word or two" answers to questions -- and do something about his wardrobe.
"Go to K-Mart, buy jeans and cowboy boots... Dress like you are going into a bar in Kansas to drink from the bottle," he said.
Reminds me of a scene from Casablanca
Bogie: Your cash is good at the bar.
Kerry: What? Do you know who I am?
Bogie: I do. You're lucky the bar's open to you.
Kerry: This is outrageous. I shall report it to the Angriff!
Trying to fit in as one of the guys by showing off to the bar, "Hey, I'm rooting for the same team you are, you have to like me."
Kerry once again caught in an embarrassing moment on camera, most likely by his own crew. At this Wisconsin establishment, these particular patrons are NOT impressed.
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