Posted on 08/02/2004 5:49:37 AM PDT by BluegrassScholar
Edited on 08/02/2004 10:43:46 AM PDT by Admin Moderator. [history]
Carrie is 2 years old, with curly brown hair and Windex-blue eyes. In a still-life portrait, she would be adorable. In three dimensions, she's a cross between a Gerber baby and the Tasmanian devil. Bang. Bang, bang, bang, and bang and bang.
That's the noise of the plastic water cup she is whacking against the ceramic-topped table of a neighborhood coffeehouse whose concrete floors function like an echo chamber. If she had a hammer she would have destroyed the table by now, and I'm pretty sure her parents would've let her. People look up from their lattes, squint at the diminutive figure making the big, ear-splitting noise, and try to continue with their newspapers or conversations. The banging goes on for a good 10 minutes. Normally, I would say something -- I'm not shy about these things -- but I'm curious to know just how long her parents, with whom I'm having coffee, will let this go. The answer: Indefinitely. They don't even seem to notice. Maybe they're just used to it?
On some primal level, Carrie must be offended that she's not the center of attention. There is anger in her banging, along with what I read as malice. As she grows even more restive, her father lowers her to the floor. Still clutching the cup, Carrie crawls through the room, pounding on the concrete floor as she goes along, giving everyone an up-close earful of her drum solo.
A few weeks later, I'm at a party, mostly adults with a few kids sprinkled in, among them the volcanically unruly 5-year-old son of a friend. As I squat down to greet him, he responds by biting me in the arm, leaving teeth marks through a shirt and a sweater. I am just about to spank his little behind when I realize I'm in dangerous territory. People go to jail for that these days.
I'll agree with you. We have 3 kids, and one of them is special needs.
We've done many "date" nights at home. On one of our anniversaries, I cleaned up our bedroom; set up our card table with table cloth, dishes, and candles; and my husband picked up a fancy Italian dinner to go.
The kids were told to stay in their rooms, and they did after they peeked into our room. My husband and I turned on music and romatically danced.
It was a lot of fun, and we didn't infringe on anyone.
We just moved to a new larger home. This one is much better for romantic evenings. We have jacuzzi outside attached to the swimming pool, and we have a very large jacuzzi bathtub in the master bathroom. Since we are now broke, we have been enjoying the benefits of the new home.
I was suprised at how well it worked. They are 20 now and they still take off their shoes just anywhere. A few years later when we moved into this house, I just put 2 laundry baskets by the front door and when I picked up shoes I just throw them in there because I realized I couldn't stop them from putting their shoes away. They are just really absent minded in that area. That was 10 yrs ago. The basket is still there - but it is down to 1 basket since they are away at school most of the time!
Mine are 20 and they still lose their shoes! I found a central place to put them whenever I find them lying around. They would take off their shoes and socks as toddlers when we were in the grocery store. I would push the cart that held their older brother and the groceries and pull theirs. But we would always have to go back through the store, picking up their shoes and socks they had thrown out of the cart. Then I learned to take them off as soon as we got in the store. People would look at me odd when it was 10 below zero!
How old are your twins?
LOL--us too. We have the jacuzzi too and it has made for some relaxing and romantic nights when the kids are asleep.
I agree and I didn't spank babies for behaving like babies.
Well --- they can be --- even as infants if they are ready. I just would judge by the child and the situation. My own kids tend to be shy and reserved --- I could never make them run around and get attention in a restaurant or other social setting --- but because they are introverted by nature, they don't want attention. Even if I spanked them to get them to put on a show, they wouldn't.
I don't think there is any set age a particular child must be exposed to adult situations. Most 2 year olds shouldn't have to sit through an adult situation for very long periods, some 8 year olds cannot, some 12 year olds cannot. And there are those who have well-behaved kids --- like Amy Carter was who still might do everyone a favor if they leave the child out of some adult events.
Anyhow I kind of do the reverse. Childhood seems so short anyway --- 15 years of so is it and you've got 60 or more years to be an adult --- so why rush it? Let kids be kids --- they'll grow up some time and then they'll have to be adults --- I never have seen where pushing it helps.
"What I don't understand is parents taking kids to places that are obviously not kid oriented."
My uncle and aunt (only a little older than me) seem to almost never get a baby sitter but drag one or more of the kids along with them to everything. They brought their 11 or 12 year old daughter with them to a "Stag and Doe" party - an adult party with many many alcoholic beverages being consumed and a certain amount of drunkenedness inevitable. I thought that was pretty inappropriate.
My girls are almost 8. I'm really getting nervous about the teenage years. It will either be twice as hard, or a lot easier. It seems with twins that it's one extreme or the other.
One of them is already into looking good and is quite in love with a little boy. She's also very impulsive. She's the one I worry about getting pregnant young.
The other one isn't into looks. She's friends with lots of boys, but she's not in love with any of them. She's not impulsive at all. I think she'll be the career woman type with no time for men.
They're identical, but boy are they different personalities.
Trust me, you don't want to know my thoughts on parents like this. I would get banned for sure.
Indeed there have!
Check your local phone directory for "Department of Children's Services" or some such.
This article is a few days old, but explains a key factor as to why I will never have children.
(snicker)
Georgia DFACS?
I don't even have any children and I've heard horror story after horror story about DFACS. Simply the worst organization in America.
If you make your child fat enough, they cannot move.
Disobedience problem solved.
Not mine. I have a nine-year-old son that I have successfully hidden from the world, and when we dine out, he wolf-whistles at the waitresses, orders his food demandingly and ends every order with "and make it fast, Cookie!", and smacks the waitress on the butt every time she walks by.
My nine-year-old-son collects dolls that look like hookers so he can play "crack whores stealing from their 'dates'".
He's so imaginative!
Thanks for the post. Great conversation starter!
Here's an idea: Get a babysitter. Kids don't belong in restaurants.
That is part of it. A lot of parents are very confused and really don't know where the legal boundaries are. Others have no sense of the difference between discipline and abuse. Part of my job is to try and help ineffective or abusive parents learn better ways of dealing with their children. It's a real challenge. In both kinds of cases we are talking about changing the parent's behavior, and THAT is the hard part. It is much harder to change the behavior of an adult than it is a child. It's kinda like obedience school for dogs, if any of you have that experience. Effective obedience training of a dog requires the training of the owner. If you just drop off a dog at obedience school and come back to get him when he graduates, you might have a dog that is very well behaved.....for the trainer, but it doesn't help you much as the owner if you don't follow through with your dog at home.
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