Posted on 08/02/2004 5:49:37 AM PDT by BluegrassScholar
Edited on 08/02/2004 10:43:46 AM PDT by Admin Moderator. [history]
Carrie is 2 years old, with curly brown hair and Windex-blue eyes. In a still-life portrait, she would be adorable. In three dimensions, she's a cross between a Gerber baby and the Tasmanian devil. Bang. Bang, bang, bang, and bang and bang.
That's the noise of the plastic water cup she is whacking against the ceramic-topped table of a neighborhood coffeehouse whose concrete floors function like an echo chamber. If she had a hammer she would have destroyed the table by now, and I'm pretty sure her parents would've let her. People look up from their lattes, squint at the diminutive figure making the big, ear-splitting noise, and try to continue with their newspapers or conversations. The banging goes on for a good 10 minutes. Normally, I would say something -- I'm not shy about these things -- but I'm curious to know just how long her parents, with whom I'm having coffee, will let this go. The answer: Indefinitely. They don't even seem to notice. Maybe they're just used to it?
On some primal level, Carrie must be offended that she's not the center of attention. There is anger in her banging, along with what I read as malice. As she grows even more restive, her father lowers her to the floor. Still clutching the cup, Carrie crawls through the room, pounding on the concrete floor as she goes along, giving everyone an up-close earful of her drum solo.
A few weeks later, I'm at a party, mostly adults with a few kids sprinkled in, among them the volcanically unruly 5-year-old son of a friend. As I squat down to greet him, he responds by biting me in the arm, leaving teeth marks through a shirt and a sweater. I am just about to spank his little behind when I realize I'm in dangerous territory. People go to jail for that these days.
Hey I see from your sig line ours are close in age, however we reversed the order(our first two were 23 mnths apart;-) We have a 6 yr old, 4 yr old, and 10 week old.
Congrats on your new addition!
My kids (even my daughter with brain damage) have always been great at school, at friends, and for babysitters.
Last year, we went to Texas. My kids were great the whole trip. We had a 25 th anniversary party for my brother that my kids went to. It was in a boring restaurant, and they were the only kids. They were there for 3 or 4 hours. Everyone commented about how well-behaved they were. The only mishap was one of them spilling some salsa, but they weren't being bad. I was very happy. We live in California, and the party was in Texas. The party was probably one of the only times most of these people will see my kids.
On the plane flight back, a passenger commented about how well-behaved my kids were.
Even my daughter with brain damage acts great on most days. We still get sibling rivalry problems at home, but they are all good kids on the most part.
but I also don't think a public "discipline scene" (scolding, child crying, etc.) is much more courteous to others.
To me that's worse --- some kids need to be removed when they're misbehaving or just left home in the first place. Some kids aren't wired to be brought into public places, they're incapable of sitting still and are better off at home. Some kids can't handle the stress of being in public, they're unhappy in a crowded place.
My mother raised six of us, ... all varied in personality and disposition, ... and rarely had any problem out of us in public.
Nor did she believe in public discipline ... we just knew that we eventually had to go home.
This reminds me of when my kids were little. The first time my son threw something off his high chair, I told him "no", and he never did it again.
Then I had twin girls. The first time one of them threw something off their high chair, I told her "no". Well, her twin sister starts laughing and copies her sister. I tell her no, and they both start throwing stuff off their high chairs.
I then had to take them both out of the high chairs and stop eating. Of course, this happened repeatedly because the twins would just laugh at each other. Double trouble with my twins.
1. START EARLY. When they start flopping around when you are changing their diapers, smack them.
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Are you kidding?
No, really, are you kidding?
I have family who has always taken lots of car trips. She never understood why we didn't.
Well, her kids always fell asleep in the car. We gave her 8 year old daughter a ride for 30 minutes in our car, and she fell asleep.
My son was the only one who would fall asleep in the car when he was a baby, but he stopped after he was a few years old.
My daughters (almost 8) have only rarely fallen asleep in the car. We will drive from San Jose to San Diego, and they will only fall asleep maybe the last hour of the trip if it is dark outside.
When the girls were little (babies until about 2), they would scream the whole time in the car. I hated going anywhere with them.
We just didn't do car trips until they were older, 4. Now (almost 8), they entertain themselves. They can draw, read a book, or play a game. We're going to try our first long car trip next week. I think we'll be okay, but I do wish we had a DVD player in our car.
What I don't understand is parents taking kids to places that are obviously not kid oriented.
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You are so right!! While I expect my DD to behave in a diner/family restaurant, she's not going to nicer restaurants until she is much older. (She's 18 months) Then I will expect her to handle herself appropriately.
I can't stand being in evening/night movies with toddlers--these kids should be home in bed.
You have caved in, rather than rule What you want, instead of a dumb kid ruling you.
You have caved in, rather than rule What you want, instead of a dumb kid ruling you.
I had someonce threaten to call the authorities on me. My twin that doesn't have brain damage had a tantrum in the car. She started throwing things at me and hitting her sister. Her sister was also in the car and sick at the time.
We pulled over to a parking lot, and I told my daughter to get out of the car and sit on this piece of grass.
I was so mad that I was a little afraid of how I was going to handle the situation. It was close to home, so I called my husband. I wanted him to come get my sick kid.
Well, in the mean time my daughter is screaming and then pounding on the door of the car to let her in. However, she is not doing anything that can harm herself, her sister, or me.
This man then starts driving around our car. I started getting nervous. Then he parks and gets out of the car.
The man accuses me of emotionally abusing my daughter. I told him calmly that she was having a tantrum, and that my husband was also on his way. The man threatens to call the authorities and starts going near my car. I then tell my daughter to get in the car. She complies and stops screaming. She was terrified of the man.
Thank God, my daughter has never done anything like that again.
I just couldn't believe that someone would actually think to call the authorities when I'm not hitting my child, I'm not yelling at my child, and I am totally calm.
The man did change a little bit when he approached my car and saw my other daughter (the sick one) calmly sitting in her seat.
I love all of the FReeper parenting story/advice threads. Some of them are really helpful because, admit it, NO ONE has parenting skills until they're a parent.
I haven't read all of the comments but if my kids were to act up, I would remove them from the premises.
Also, many are afraid to take action due to CPS or someone taking their license plate number down to call CPS.
My mom used to carry the wooden spoon everywhere we went. We weren't bad, it was more like a threat, if we were to act up.Of course, this was in the 1960's!!!
I have told my kids that we are having a no TV/computer/electronic game day today. We just moved, and they have been spending way too much time in front of the TV.
Maybe I should try to no TV approach even longer.
"I'm not that old -- 47 -- and I grew up attending small evangelical churches. I was expected to be able to sit still and quiet through a 90 minute service before I was school age."
Same here. If we became disruptive in any way, Dad stopped his sermon and scolded us from the pulpit. Now kids are just awful, and/or they're schlepped off to Junior Church. (What's up with that?) We chose our current church partly because all the children sit up, behave, and listen. It was shocking!
Today, with the youngest (twins) being 38, I have a wonderful relationship with all of them, and I am still their FATHER, who is also their friend. Believe me it wasn't that way while they were growing up NOR could it have been.
My in-flight child horror story:
NYC to LA, little monster (about 7 or 8) behind me decided kicking my seat was the way to pass the time..I politely asked kid/mom to stop..nothing. About 2 hours of this nonsense I turn around and loudly tell the monster that unless he stopped it NOW I was going to request that the flight crew take him to the cargo area..BECAUSE thats where bad little children had to ride in airplanes!!!....The flight attendants were cracking up (not where the kid could see them) and his mother was pissed at me. The kicking stopped.
Been there. I was 5 at the time. He and I still laugh about it.
(It only happened once.)
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