Posted on 07/28/2004 4:40:28 PM PDT by Mr. Silverback
Do men still want to get married? Or has a culture of casual sex and cohabitation made men lose all interest in marriage? A new report from Rutgers University provides some fascinating insights into a subject that’s often misunderstood.
Barbara Dafoe Whitehead and David Popenoe in “The Marrying Kind: Which Men Marry and Why”—part of Rutgers’s annual “State of Our Unions” report—write that we know less than we think we do about young men and their attitudes toward marriage. They note that young married men are hardly ever portrayed in popular culture, as if there are none. “Yet . . . in 2002, there were 9.5 million married men between the ages of 25 and 34. And contrary to the popular stereotype, the typical thirty-something guy is a married guy.”
Moreover, many men in the 25-to-34 age group have positive feelings about marriage. Ninety-four percent of young married men that the authors surveyed “say that they are happier being married than being single.” And although many of the young single men in the survey planned to delay marriage for a while, only one in five does not intend to marry.
It’s encouraging to know that so many younger men still hold marriage in high regard. As Whitehead and Popenoe point out, marriage changes men in ways that dating and cohabitation don’t. Being married improves men’s health, finances, job success, and other aspects of their lives. And in turn, the authors say, “marriage includes a norm of male altruism.” It teaches men to put their family’s needs ahead of their own and encourages them to work to better their society.
Unfortunately, there’s also some bad news here. Our culture still isn’t doing a very good job of preparing men for marriage. Men are freely offered alternatives, like cohabitation, that damage their attitudes toward women as well as their understanding of marriage. This may be why the evidence suggests that couples who live together before marriage are more likely to divorce.
So it’s worth asking what factors encourage men to get married and help them build successful marriages. What Whitehead and Popenoe found isn’t surprising: Men with strong religious faith and men raised in intact two-parent families “are significantly more likely to marry and to have positive views of marriage and family life.” Interestingly, men from traditional families also had a better view of women than did young men from single-parent households.
These findings are backed up by a recent book titled Soft Patriarchs, New Men: How Christianity Shapes Fathers and Husbands. Author W. Bradford Wilcox analyzed an enormous amount of data about three groups: conservative Protestants, mainline Protestants, and those with no religious affiliation. He came to a conclusion that doesn’t surprise us: that is, conservative Protestant men come closest to the ideal of what a husband and father should be. Contrary to popular stereotypes, these men are more affectionate and more “engaged emotionally” with their wives and children. Their faith directly inspires their view of their role in the family.
So there’s no need to despair just yet about the state of marriage. There are still quite a few men out there who are “the marrying kind”—men inspired by their Christian worldview.
BreakPoint/Chuck Colson Ping!
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Many feel why by the milk if you can get the cow for free.
I suppose in an odd sort of way becoming crippled has made me a better husband. I did run around before. These days I'm happy taking care of the house and running my small engine repair business.
The Democrat Response to the State of Our Unions address will be given by Bill Clinton. Or maybe Rosie O'Donnel.
Ping.
There is another side to it: quite a few (far from all, but still quite a few) men who do not marry are not well fit to shoulder the family responsibilities, and therefore everyone is better off with them out of family picture.
In CA the problem is many women run their lives like men. So I'm searching those out from other places or countries. Hard, but worthwhile:)
Being HAPPILY married, maybe.
Isn't that supposed to be the other way around? Why buy the cow the when you can get the milk for free.
Interesting article......in fact, most of my friends in the 20-30 age group are married already, and quite happy about it. I also don't think that "not buying the cow when the milk is free" really has anything to do with it. I think that as time passes, there are less and less women around that men feel they are safe marrying. Reasons why I say that, you ask? I honestly believe that more and more women are being trained by society, and not their parents. Divorce is easy and convenient, as the woman generally wins out. Women have become increasingly selfish. Feministic views have really started to make the "Men are stupid" sterotype more common with women.
I will admit that I am very hard on feminists. After being with my last long time girlfriend for about 2 years, I had to leave her when the all girls college she went to ruined her completely. I left when she said, "No woman is ever truly liberated until they've had an abortion. It shows they have complete control of their lives.".
Don't even ask me what I think of the women in Middle GA......ugh......
I would be much more concerned with the lack of WOMEN of the marrying kind. They all want to do it, but not stick with it.
All right freepers- flame away, I can take it. Can you tell that really touched a nerve with me?
And now, all I have to do is wait another 3 years and I will achieve a major milestone - THE LAST CHILD SUPPORT CHECK!
If other people get married and it works for them, that's fine, I have no problem with that. But the next time I'm at the altar will be at my funeral.
There are still quite a few men out there who are “the marrying kind”—men inspired by their Christian worldview.Indeed. Because Jewish men never want to marry, especially not Orthodox Jews.
As a single guy, I'll go along with that.
Who even wants milk when it comes from the cow soured?
I have never been married and am dang happy!!! I really believe in marriage...that's why I have never married...if that makes sense. I want to have no doubts when/if it happens. I have had plenty of offers but none felt right. And if marriage never comes...I'm ok with that too. ;)
I'll bet the Lefties are gnashing their teeth over that one. Heaven forfend that strong religious values and an intact two-parent home should actually be the ideal!
No wonder the Left is straining so hard to turn the Holy Union of Matrimony into a joke and an abomination with their gay "marriage" and similar crap.
Men with strong religious faith and men raised in intact two-parent families “are significantly more likely to marry and to have positive views of marriage and family life.”
I'll bet the Lefties are gnashing their teeth over that one. Heaven forfend that strong religious values and an intact two-parent home should actually be the ideal!
No wonder the Left is straining so hard to turn the Holy Union of Matrimony into a joke and an abomination with their gay "marriage" and similar crap.
WE CANNOT LET THEM DO THAT!
Oh, shouldn't be THAT much trouble. Have you looked in some local women's prisons?
It's not just about the milk dude......If you're gonna spend your life with someone, she better have it together in the old noodle. Most women I meet anymore are such bloody pessimists anyway. Doom and gloom and constant bitching. would you want to wake up to that? Hell no.
Could be.
Want to get a woman quick in California? Show your large bulge... in your wallet.
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