Need Help From Freeper Females (vanity)

4/21/2004 | Jaysun

[Jaysun]

Some of the guys and I are presently at the camping lodge and we’ve got a problem that requires the help of a sensible woman. My brother-in-law managed to get something in his hair this morning, and he wanted to wash it out. I can’t tell you what that something was, because he’s refused to divulge that to us thus far (I suspect that he fabricated the “tainted hair” theory to save himself some embarrassment.)

My brother-in-law believes that his wife has, at some point, told him that peanut butter is a useful household hair cleaner / conditioner. His wife animately denied ever saying anything about peanut butter, and thinks that he must have confused it with mayonnaise. Anyway, this guy has gone from a docile gentlemen to a ranting idiot and he’s now in a state of full blown panic.

Please provide us with any suggestions that you may have for removing peanut butter from hair. If possible, we’d like to know of any “home remedies” that may work – we’re in a fairly remote location and nobody is willing to go to the store. Besides looking ridiculous, he smells horrible. Here’s what we’ve tried so far:

A) Tried to “melt” it away by pouring very hot water over his head. This basically resulted in mild burns to his neck and scalp.
B) Made a makeshift shower cap out of a Wal-Mart bag, taped it around his head to make it watertight, and poured beer in a small hole at the top. He let it soak for about an hour to no avail.

Anything that you can suggest would be most appreciated.

Jaysun

[alnick]

He could try throwing a dictionary on its tail and putting it in the bathtub.

[FollowingTheGrace]

mark to come back for the pictures...

[notpoliticallycorewrecked]

Like I said earlier, we were the evening entertainment.

[LurkerNoMore!]

*LOL*

Please create a ping list... and add me to it!

[not_apathetic_anymore]

after reading there will be pics to follow I have to bump for later!

[Unknown Freeper]

We're not going to have to wait until you're done your trip to see the pictures, are we? Come on. Send someone down to the local one hour shop. Maybe we can figure out the original substance from the pictures.

[prairiebreeze]

BWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!!!! GAWD, I haven't laughed this hard in so long! We've been needing some great laughs.

Heeeeeeeeeee!

Prairie

[Shooter 2.5]

Dear Navy SEAL......


http://www.theonion.com/onion3205/navyseal.html

[hellinahandcart]

You're pulling our legs big-time, aren't you?

[hope]

Tomatoe juice is for skunk spray...if you want to get peanut butter out of the hair your going to have to load him up with baby powder, foot powder baking soda or something along those lines..rub it in real good through the strands...then try to comb as much out as possible...wait a few minutes and then the work begins.
Wash with dish soap first
Then rinse well with very warm water.
towel dry and then condition it...towel dry again.
repeat the washing with dish soap two more times and a final conditioner...At that point if he has any hair left, break out the scissors and shaver...Don't forget to finish off with a little baby oil to shine the scalp.

be sure you give him a few beers to keep him calm..Tell him he looks wonderful bald:) When you bring him back to his wife...run fast!

[jigsaw]

Liquid Pre-Shave lotion often works well to disolve various substances. Seriously.

[abner]

Ok, so who really put whatever in this poor saps hair? With your 'steps' to remedy, I'm beginning to think you guys set him up. You may have been too intoxicated to remember though!

I can't wait to see the photos. . . . . ..

[Senator Pardek]

I'll find a penumbra in the Constitution against blonde chicks yet.

[ride the whirlwind]

Meanwhile, the best way that I can describe the guy is this: Imagine if Don King and Lyle Lovett had a kid that just spent 2 weeks swimming through an oil slick. He looks like hell.

You're scaring me....LOL

[NYC GOP Chick]

This is too weird to be fake!

[Syncro]

...swimming through an oil slick...

Speaking of slick, if that is where he got it from he is in BIG trouble. Unless of course you don't find out.

:<)

[CholeraJoe]

Here's a nice pic of a classy green eyed blonde that I know personally.

[dixiechick2000]

You do NOT want to miss this thread! ;o)

[eastforker]

Amazing close resemblance IIRC.

[scarface367]

Holy crap. And I thought Marines have done some weird stuff.

Seriously though, after what you've already tried, I'd be worried about him combusting. One spark and you'll take out a quarter mile.