I wish I had waited

L.A. youth ^ | jan. 2004 | anonymous

[freepatriot32]

I am a 15-year-old girl who’s had sex since the age of 13. There are two main reasons I got into having sex at such an early age. One, I didn’t know much about sex so I wanted to see what it was like. I saw it everywhere from Victoria’s Secret shops to television shows.

Two, I was influenced into having sex because "everybody" in high school was doing it. I was in eighth grade and I hung around people who were older than me. The guys were not virgins. They would say things like, "It is not a big deal." So I thought that if I was not a virgin it would not matter that much because it had lost its specialness.

My parents and teachers were too embarrassed to sit me in a chair and talk to me about sex. My parents thought that I would not become sexually active because my brothers and sisters had not become involved with sex. In my middle school I did not have any sex education classes. At that time I was wondering stuff like, how does it feel to have sex? Do I get pregnant the first time? What is a condom? I once saw a condom on glasses worn by Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes and I wondered what it was.

The first time I had sex, I had to depend on what the guy knew. I was 13 and the guy was my sex education class. He was 16 years old and not my boyfriend. It was his idea to have sex and I was really adventurous at the time. I wanted to know more and it just happened. It was his idea to use a condom because I didn’t know much about birth control. After I had sex, I realized it was too late to take back the biggest mistake of my life. I went home and kept telling myself, "I’m not a virgin, I’m not a virgin." I felt really bad about it because growing up I was taught that you shouldn’t lose your virginity until you’re married.

Months later, when my parents found out that I was having sex, they lost their trust in me and sent me to a group home. But sex is addictive. I became addicted to the feeling of being loved because I wasn’t getting enough love from my family. I began to have sex with people that I really did not want to have sex with. Once I started having sex it was not easy to stop.

I personally believe that middle school is one of the most important places to be given sex education because when you get into high school you will see things about sex everywhere. Nowadays people do not wait to be seniors at the prom to have sex. They just have sex when they think they are ready, whether or not they are.

I wanted to save my virginity for someone special, not just some guy. I think that if I had known more about sex and taken sex-ed classes in middle school, I would have realized that sex is not a game. After the sex-ed classes I took in ninth grade, I learned that there is much more to sex than the "fun" of it. There are sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancy, and with those risks comes a lot of responsibility.

In the future, I want to wait to have sex until I meet someone who appreciates me. Sex can bring negative things when you are not ready for it.

[af_vet_1981]

A teen resident in a crisis intervention group home would easily pick up the adult psychobabble you complain about. You have the opinion that it was written by an adult but no external evidence to prove it.

[af_vet_1981]

How many families do you know that do this?

High school debates

Have you ever listened to scores of them ?

[LWalk18]

Group homes are very expensive and hard to get into, at least in this area- and most of the kids have very serious emotional problems. That's why I question whether this a real article.

[traumer]

"Once I started having sex it was not easy to stop... "

It's Bush's fault !

[tiamat]

i hear you.

But see: Dad definatley (LOL! ) let you know where he stood.

Too many won't.

I agree, BTW, more emphasis needs to be put on making sure the boys will behave!

And I agree that Dad ought to take point on that, and Mom on the girls.

MOM needs to make sure Sonny-boy knows too, though that , "If you get her pregnant, I 'll wring your neck!"

Cyborg, I need to leave. I have a 4-H meeting to help host in 20 minutes.

I'll Talk To You Later!

:-)

[cyborg]

Now there's a super parent! A 4H club meeting :-)

[Xenalyte]

One, I didn’t know much about sex so I wanted to see what it was like. I saw it everywhere from Victoria’s Secret shops to television shows.

What mall does she go to? I've never seen anyone doing it in a Vicki's.

[Xenalyte]

I felt really bad about it because growing up I was taught that you shouldn’t lose your virginity until you’re married.

Then why did you do it, you ninny? Jeez, send her to the convent school before she pops out some daddyless babies.

[Nonstatist]

Kids yearning for sex education in the public schools. How believable.

[Xenalyte]

This article just gets better and better.

Once I started having sex it was not easy to stop.

Apparently, although her parents taught her that premarital sex is wrong, they forgot to teach her how to say "no."

[AnAmericanMother]

OK, let me give you some more detail.

The "from . . . to" construct is adult.

"personally believe" is also an adult phrase.

"Would have realized" is not only an adult phrase, it is grammar far more complex than that used in the rest of the article. An accepted marker (or "red flag", if you prefer) for this sort of writing is incorrect usage in easy grammar while using the more difficult tenses correctly.

So the internal inconsistencies are in (1) phraseology (2) grammatical constructs (3) reasoning.

There's your internal evidence. We have no external evidence because all we have is the article. So if you demand external evidence, you're out of luck. However, the textual analysis here yields a threefold proof of "two voices" - and my money is on the first voice being the adult author and the second voice being the adult author trying (and failing) to sound childlike.

Another possibility is that the article was originally written by the child, but was so poorly written that it could not be used and was heavily edited by another adult or the editor. But the adult goal - i.e. to paint parents as incapable of raising their own children while promoting sex education - mitigates contra.

[Xenalyte]

I do. It's simple-minded, and the sentences don't show much variety of construction. Nor does it have a good round vocabulary - note how the author keeps referring to "things." Definitely a teenager, saith the woman who taught English to teenagers.

[Xenalyte]

This wasn't written by an intelligent 15-year-old. A 15-year-old, perhaps, but she won't win any prizes for smarts.

[tiamat]

Llamas....It HAD to be llamas!

Later!

[Nonstatist]

I became addicted to the feeling of being loved because I wasn’t getting enough love from my family.

That cut and dried, eh? They reacted to her promiscuity by putting her in a group home, and so now she felt she needed sex more than ever?

IMO, this is bunk written by an adult.

[UnbelievingScumOnTheOtherSide]

Or a teen who has been seeing a therapist. (not mentioned)

[AnAmericanMother]

Or a teen who has been seeing a therapist. (not mentioned)

That certainly would explain the "buzzwords" . . . but not the grammatical anomalies.

[international american]

You are correct. Any professor of english, or professional writer could have spotted this.

[FITZ]

I definitely don't believe this is written by a kid --- it's all about promoting sex ed in the early grades.

[FITZ]

I do. It's simple-minded, and the sentences don't show much variety of construction.

To me it sounds like it was written by an adult trying to pretend to be a 15 year old.