Skip to comments.
Jay Leno Finally Goes After Kerry
Newsmax ^
Posted on 03/23/2004 8:18:01 AM PST by GulliverSwift
Welcome to "The Tonight Show," the late-night television show preferred by 8 out of 10 foreign leaders. Which foreign leaders? I cant tell you, but they are supporting me.
Today the White House announced that were sending a company of soldiers to Kosovo to stop ethnic rioting there. So far weve sent troops to Afghanistan, Iraq, Haiti and now Kosovo. President Bush says his goal is to send as many soldiers oversees as we have jobs.
We make jokes about it, but the truth is the presidential election really offers a choice of two well-informed opposing positions on every issue they both happen to be John Kerry's, but still ...
As the presumptive Democratic nominee, Kerry is protected by the Secret Service. Im not saying Kerrys boring, but his Secret Service code name is "Al Gore."
Hes quite an athlete they showed him snowboarding. Hes in Idaho and hes snowboarding. Did you see him on the news? He is pretty good. Hes a good snowboarder. Did you see him? He was going downhill faster than Howard Dean.
One of Kerrys advisers once said theres really "two John Kerrys." Theres "indoor John," who agonizes over decisions, and "outdoor John," who takes bold, decisive action.
Outdoor John isnt that a port-o-potty?
TOPICS: News/Current Events; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: 2004; endorsements; foreignleaders; kerry; ketchup; leno
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-20, 21-40, 41-50 next last
To: Integrityrocks
True in a way, but believe me, I'm a fan of Leno and no more than when the Clinton years were upon us! Man, could he blow that whole administration away! A comedian's dream, and Leno milked it for all it was worth! You missed out big time!
21
posted on
03/23/2004 9:01:27 AM PST
by
the OlLine Rebel
(Common Sense is an Uncommon Virtue)
To: CygnusXI
THAT'S a house?! There are townships smaller than that! Dang..That is the JFK Tax-a-lot Compound!
Yaaaawn Tax & Kerry really can relate to Johnny Lunchbucket playing the lottery every Wednesday nite!
Pray for W and The Truth
22
posted on
03/23/2004 9:01:59 AM PST
by
bray
(Hey Yaaaawn, W loves our military; how bout you??)
To: dyno35
LOL Let me add one too:
How many John Kerrys does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None!
That's the servants job!
(Go fix that light bulb you sorry SOB
But Sir, I'm Secret Service
I don't care who you are, Just fix it! Now!)
23
posted on
03/23/2004 9:09:25 AM PST
by
Fiddlstix
(This Space Available for Rent or Lease by the Day, Week, or Month. Reasonable Rates. Inquire within.)
To: smith288
>>...John Kerry, man of the people....<<
Indeed.
24
posted on
03/23/2004 9:32:16 AM PST
by
FReepaholic
(Never Forget: www.september-11-videos.com)
To: Mr. Bird
He is just a regular guy who's inner feeling is with the middle class Poor.
25
posted on
03/23/2004 9:42:56 AM PST
by
boomop1
To: tscislaw
Hey, how did Bob Graham get so rich? I always thought he was a career politician (in office since I was a child, at least).
26
posted on
03/23/2004 9:54:24 AM PST
by
Mr. Bird
To: boomop1
He is just a regular guy who's inner feeling is with the middle class Poor.![](http://www.jellystonetoronto.com/images/cindy_news_head.gif)
(sigh)"He's my hero."
27
posted on
03/23/2004 10:22:45 AM PST
by
yankeedame
("Oh, I can take it but I'd much rather dish it out.")
To: swarthyguy
28
posted on
03/23/2004 12:04:30 PM PST
by
Shermy
(Stirring the pot...)
To: dyno35
One to cut funding for new lightbulbs after he voted to increase funding for new lightbulbs.
29
posted on
03/23/2004 12:13:59 PM PST
by
Shooter 2.5
(Don't punch holes in the lifeboat)
Comment #30 Removed by Moderator
To: smith288
Senator Kerry,
Your country is at war. Men are dying to protect you and our friends in the Middle East. Why is there no flag on that flag pole?
31
posted on
03/23/2004 12:38:46 PM PST
by
Lunatic Fringe
(John F-ing Kerry??? NO... F-ING... WAY!!!)
To: GulliverSwift
Where do the sons-of-bitches...oops...I mean Secret Service Agents stay? In that little white trailer?
To: smith288
A flag pole out front and no US flag flying?
To: Fiddlstix
That was good.
34
posted on
03/23/2004 9:15:02 PM PST
by
des
To: tscislaw
Somewhere (more than once) I've seen a list of the richest men in govt. The Dems. far outweigh the rich Repubs. Could someone post that or tell me where to look to find it? For instance, John Corzine supposedly is worth in excess of 400 mil.
vaudine
35
posted on
03/23/2004 9:23:49 PM PST
by
vaudine
To: GulliverSwift
![](http://us.news2.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/ap/20040322/capt.kbs10103222219.kerry_homes_kbs101.jpg)
WHAT! How can he be a "man of the people" when his Servant's Quarters are at least twice as large as mine!
36
posted on
03/23/2004 9:30:50 PM PST
by
CougarGA7
(I was thinking of the immortal words of Socrates who said, "I DRANK WHAT!?")
To: CougarGA7
Hey, if your servant's quarters are half as big as Kerry' servant's quarters, they'd still be servant's quarters.
To: tscislaw
Your chart explains Kucinich's haircut.
But not Al Sharpton's.
38
posted on
03/23/2004 9:44:57 PM PST
by
Hank Rearden
(Never let your life be directed by people who could only get government jobs.)
To: Texas Eagle
Where do the sons-of-bitches...oops...I mean Secret Service Agents stay? In that little white trailer? Probably in their cars, and wishing they would have gotten a President Bush gig. God bless them, because they arguably have the most thankless job in America right now.
39
posted on
03/23/2004 9:50:38 PM PST
by
LisaMalia
(In Memory of Sgt. James W. Lunsford..KIA 11-29-69 Binh Dinh S. Vietnam)
To: socal_parrot
LOL! True. In reality I can't even afford to hire Merry Maids. But I do spring for a Rug Doctor every now and then and steam clean my carpets. It's tedious work, but my wife says I look good in the maid costume.
40
posted on
03/23/2004 9:59:08 PM PST
by
CougarGA7
(I was thinking of the immortal words of Socrates who said, "I DRANK WHAT!?")
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-20, 21-40, 41-50 next last
Disclaimer:
Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual
posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its
management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the
exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson