Jay Leno Finally Goes After Kerry

Newsmax ^

[GulliverSwift]

Welcome to "The Tonight Show," the late-night television show preferred by 8 out of 10 foreign leaders. Which foreign leaders? I can’t tell you, but they are supporting me.

Today the White House announced that we’re sending a company of soldiers to Kosovo to stop ethnic rioting there. So far we’ve sent troops to Afghanistan, Iraq, Haiti and now Kosovo. President Bush says his goal is to send as many soldiers oversees as we have jobs.

We make jokes about it, but the truth is the presidential election really offers a choice of two well-informed opposing positions on every issue – they both happen to be John Kerry's, but still ...

As the presumptive Democratic nominee, Kerry is protected by the Secret Service. I’m not saying Kerry’s boring, but his Secret Service code name is "Al Gore."

He’s quite an athlete – they showed him snowboarding. He’s in Idaho and he’s snowboarding. Did you see him on the news? He is pretty good. He’s a good snowboarder. Did you see him? He was going downhill faster than Howard Dean.

One of Kerry’s advisers once said there’s really "two John Kerrys." There’s "indoor John," who agonizes over decisions, and "outdoor John," who takes bold, decisive action.

Outdoor John – isn’t that a port-o-potty?

[the OlLine Rebel]

True in a way, but believe me, I'm a fan of Leno and no more than when the Clinton years were upon us! Man, could he blow that whole administration away! A comedian's dream, and Leno milked it for all it was worth! You missed out big time!

[bray]

THAT'S a house?! There are townships smaller than that! Dang..

That is the JFK Tax-a-lot Compound!

Yaaaawn Tax & Kerry really can relate to Johnny Lunchbucket playing the lottery every Wednesday nite!

Pray for W and The Truth

[Fiddlstix]

LOL

Let me add one too:

How many John Kerrys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None!
That's the servants job!

(Go fix that light bulb you sorry SOB
But Sir, I'm Secret Service
I don't care who you are, Just fix it! Now!)

[FReepaholic]

>>...John Kerry, man of the people....<<

Indeed.

[boomop1]

He is just a regular guy who's inner feeling is with the middle class Poor.

[Mr. Bird]

Hey, how did Bob Graham get so rich? I always thought he was a career politician (in office since I was a child, at least).

[yankeedame]

He is just a regular guy who's inner feeling is with the middle class Poor.

(sigh)"He's my hero."

[Shermy]

"Outdoor John – isn’t that a port-o-potty?"


http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1101286/posts?page=95#95

[Shooter 2.5]

One to cut funding for new lightbulbs after he voted to increase funding for new lightbulbs.

[Lunatic Fringe]

Senator Kerry,

Your country is at war. Men are dying to protect you and our friends in the Middle East. Why is there no flag on that flag pole?

[Texas Eagle]

Where do the sons-of-bitches...oops...I mean Secret Service Agents stay? In that little white trailer?

[US_MilitaryRules]

A flag pole out front and no US flag flying?

[des]

That was good.

[vaudine]

Somewhere (more than once) I've seen a list of the richest men in govt. The Dems. far outweigh the rich Repubs. Could someone post that or tell me where to look to find it? For instance, John Corzine supposedly is worth in excess of 400 mil.

vaudine

[CougarGA7]

WHAT! How can he be a "man of the people" when his Servant's Quarters are at least twice as large as mine!

[socal_parrot]

Hey, if your servant's quarters are half as big as Kerry' servant's quarters, they'd still be servant's quarters.

[Hank Rearden]

Your chart explains Kucinich's haircut.

But not Al Sharpton's.

[LisaMalia]

Where do the sons-of-bitches...oops...I mean Secret Service Agents stay? In that little white trailer?

Probably in their cars, and wishing they would have gotten a President Bush gig. God bless them, because they arguably have the most thankless job in America right now.

[CougarGA7]

LOL! True. In reality I can't even afford to hire Merry Maids. But I do spring for a Rug Doctor every now and then and steam clean my carpets. It's tedious work, but my wife says I look good in the maid costume.