A return to submissive wives?

Boston.com ^ | 2 February 2004 | Cathy Young

[shrinkermd]

QUITE A FEW people would probably rail against Laura Schlessinger, the radio pop psychologist known for her diatribes against abortion, working mothers, and gay rights, even if she said that you should be kind to animals and brush your teeth regularly. When "Dr. Laura" writes a book which pins most of the blame for modern marital problems on selfish, overly demanding women, that's bound to ruffle feathers.

[beachn4fun]

How can one equate submissive with being respectful and caring?

You make a very valid point. The feminist movement made it shameful for women to be caring and nurturing. The same way they made it shameful for men to be gentlemen! They thought that just because a man held a door for a woman it meant the woman was weak. Give me a break! If a woman can give birth, she is NOT weak. Women have proven over and over that they are capable. OK? Besides, a woman would not or should not be submissive to an unstable, unreliable man.

I appreciate it when a man holds the door for me. I am happy when I run into a real gentleman. It is refreshing to know they still exist! The feminist movement was not able to destroy that.

[shhrubbery!]

I think that the women that this society has produced are probably the most unsuitable for marriage. Men as well as women need to be taught by their elders the skills and temperments that make a good marriage. For the past 30 years precisely the opposite lessons of have been taught. End result? You have Paris Hiltons and Britney Spears alongside with the usual littany of angry feminists.

You are, sadly, right.

My own marriage has been good, but the generations after mine have been subjected to so much feminist propaganda, and the demeaning of men in popular culture (just witness all the commercials of the last 20 years where men are portrayed as stupid oafs), I don't know if there are any decent women left.

I fear for my sons. Unless they are able to join an Amish community, I don't know where they'll find a good woman to marry.

[LOC1]

Traditional families became "traditional' because the roles assumed by each of the partners made, and still make, sense. Partners who respect and rely on each other's differing insights and different ways of reaching decisions have a much deeper and more solid way of dealing with the challenges that life throws us. Such partners also tend to respect each other's needs and desires. Perhaps that is what Dr. Laura is trying to suggest, that women really enter into the give and take of partnership, rather than being the spoiled adolescent demanding their own way all of the time.

[KantianBurke]

Good points though I would disagree as to their veracity in this day and age. As you remark, there were "always" Britney Spears types around but it must be pointed out that the proportion has become skewed. Thanks to an explosion of broken homes, the seeppage of feminism and the easy obtainability of such technologies as the "Pill," women have become quite a different creature than when you and your wife married. Is it fair to those women who have been raised to be good partners? No it isn't. But the proper course of action isn't blaming the messenger or stating that the problem doesn't exist.

Bluntly men and women are not being raised in a society and in a family structure that ensures a future happy marriage. Factor in the deveastation, both economic and mental, that occurs for a man when a woman initiates (and it is overwhelmingly the woman) divorce proceedings. As you point out, these online dating services are proof in the pudding of such "marriageable types."

[hopespringseternal]

Too often (Schlessinger is right about that), it has promoted anger, rancor, and male-blaming instead of equal partnership.

Feminist ideology is dominated by angry, man-hating lesbians. They have convinced women to sabotage their own marriages, to foul their own nests. They love divorce because it makes the woman available for their advances, makes her daughters more vulnerable to being recruited into the lesbian lifestyle, and neuters her sons to be more compliant to the harridan he ends up chained to.

Nearly every woman has a little of their poison in her mind and would do well to guard the gates of her mind against it. It is bitterness that can only produce more bitterness.

[Pan_Yans Wife]

and neuters her sons to be more compliant to the harridan he ends up chained to.

I have never been a feminist. And seven years ago, when I was pregnant with my son, I told my husband, "I HATE HER!" He said, "Who?" I said, "The baby's WIFE! He is too good for her!" I still feel that way, and can only grieve for my son's future headaches as he tries to live with a modern wife, in the year 2030.

[cubreporter]

Dr. Laura is divorced? Raising her only son? Isn't he about 18 years old now? When did she get divorced?

[cubreporter]

God, they make me want to throw up just looking at those two losers.

[cubreporter]

God, they make me want to throw up just looking at those two losers.

[KantianBurke]

This should make you feel a bit better:

[MissAmericanPie]

But she is right on about it. Hopefully, if I raise my son right, he will never marry.

[af_vet_1981]

Only the nutty and the romantically immature think about marrying in this day and age.

That would be the few, the proud, the parents who raise children for the next generation that will inherit the rights and responsibilities to defend this Republic. I know we who do this are fast becoming a minority. Without us this nation will not survive.

[shrinkermd]

Shhrubbery, teach your son how to win an argument with a woman who cares for him --virtual silence and a hurt, sadenned demeanor will usually win every time. Every mature woman has a secret fear of losing the affection of her man and, also, harbors a secret fear that others might consider her a bitch.

If this doesn't work, the man is in real trouble.

[af_vet_1981]

However, I do have a problem with the blanket characterization of men being interested only in food and sex.

Quite right. You left out money, sports, and vehicles that go fast.

[macrahanish #1]

Andrea Yates was also seriously mentally ill. The problem wasn't her subservience to her husband; it was his failure to get her the help she needed.

[cubreporter]

Amen. Men and women can find each other on their own. They need to hang out together for quite awhile as well so they get to KNOW each other. As for the fems bashing all men they are wrong and they know nothing. Same for men who bash women. People have to have more respect for each other. We have a ton of friends and family who have been married for years and years and they not only love each other but...they have respect for each other. Love is sharing, kindness, comfort and caring for the well being of each other.

It is like now with clothing lines that seem to want to put down little boys. Well, I have a boy and a girl and they were both taught respect for the other's gender. The boy did all the thngs boys do playing games and all that and so did the girl.

The girl dried dishes, helped dust and clean house. The boy took out the trash and picked up on "doogie patrol" in the yard and cut the grass. There was nothing wrong with any of these chores. More kids should have to do chores like that today to help their moms and dads and to make some of that money they all want for outrageously priced shoes and clothing.

I will defend boys for the rest of my life as I will defend girls. Boys are wonderful little creatures as are girls and if I am around and hear someone bashing either one I will speak up and everyone else better do the same because those that would bash a little boy or a little girl will be much worse when they "grow up" ... but then again, some of the people who make these statments about boys and girls have not grown up at all. They are silly and should be ashamed for their words.

Men should respect women but women in turn shold respect men. Stop hanging out with someone who doesn't appreciate who you are. Turning men against women or women against men is silly. Men will love and respect the woman they want to spend the rest of their lives with and women will do the same. Attempts have been made by the fems to damage the relationship between men and women but...those who are wise know the difference and those are the ones who marry, raise a family and teach their children faith, hope and love. They also teach their children that love ... real love (not just sex) is what will be there in the older years when comfort and sweetness towards each other will be even more important as they grow old together.

Men and women will always love each other no matter how much the fems try to destroy that. I have married children who are kind and loving to their wife/husband. It is a joy to see how much they care for and are concerned with the well being and happiness of their partner and...there are a lot more out there like that but we don't hear about them cause they are boring I guess. It's just like that old saying: "The squeaky wheel gets the grease." I'll take the old fashioned love between men and women...it will go on forever in spite of all the fems and naysayers.

[prairiebreeze]

President and Mrs. Bush have an extremely solid marriage. They are setting a good example as role models. Marriage must never become out-dated.

It's up to us to take back the respectability that the left, the media etc. try to strip away from marriage and society. It's going to take time and giving up, as you seem to have done, is not an option.

Prairie

[af_vet_1981]

Hopefully, if I raise my son right, he will never marry.

What do you think he is going to do ?

[cubreporter]

Sweet photo, sweet couple. Compare that photo to the one in post 29.

[cubreporter]

Sweet photo, sweet couple. Compare that photo to the one in post 29.