Michelle Malkin: The weird world of Gwyneth Paltrow

TownHall.com ^ | Wednesday, January 21, 2004 | by Michelle Malkin

[JohnHuang2]

Gwyneth Paltrow, the fashionable blond actress who once chopped off her hair to look exactly like ex-boyfriend Brad Pitt and who showed up at the Oscars a few years ago in a transparent Goth-meets-Heidi costume, has some nerve calling anybody "weird."

Yet, there she was in the pages of Britain’s Glamour magazine last week, declaring that America is "too weird." Now, if Gwynnie had been referring to the bizarre spectacles of Michael Jackson gyrating atop his SUV, Britney Spears stumbling down the wedding aisle, and Howard Dean going ape-wild in Iowa, she might have had a point. But that’s not who she had in mind. Explaining why she’s planning on raising her first child in the United Kingdom instead of the United States -- she is four months pregnant and living in London with her new husband, British musician Chris Martin -- the actress noted: "At the moment there's a weird, over-patriotic atmosphere over there, like, 'We're number one and the rest of the world doesn't matter.’"

Pity poor Paltrow. Having grown up in her privileged little bubble of "gypsy of the world" artisans, this delicate thespian must tremble with unbearable fright at the thought of her little one being accidentally exposed to Americans who fly the American flag on their front porches even when it’s not Independence Day. I can’t imagine the horror Paltrow must experience when the National Anthem is played within earshot or the disgust she must feel when she sees American soldiers in uniform, flashing "number one" signs, as they defend Paltrow’s freedom to trash her country while sipping tea along the Thames.

How positively creepy, Paltrow must have thought to herself while sunning herself on Valentino’s yacht off the coast of Majorca, that there are so many of us in America who actually do believe this is the greatest nation in the world, who wake up each morning grateful that our parents and grandparents left their own native lands to pursue their dreams in the land of the free and the home of the brave.

How utterly scary that there are so many of us unenlightened heathens who actually believe the words of the U.S. Constitution (as opposed to Norman Lear and the ACLU’s talking points).

How absolutely chilling that America is still home to Americans who recite the unabridged version of the Pledge of Allegiance.

How absolutely strange that most of us have never faked a British accent -- except, perhaps, when teaching our children about the tyranny of King George III.

"I think Bush is such an embarrassment to America. He doesn't take the rest of the world at all into consideration," Paltrow was quoted by the Scottish Daily Record of Glasgow last year. "It all seems to be for him and his friends to keep getting richer at the expense of a nation, at the expense of the environment. It's like a full-scale assault." This from an eco-hypocrite who appears in environmental propaganda ads with fellow actress Cameron Diaz touting energy conservation -- while driving a Mercedes-Benz SUV paid for with her box-office windfalls from all those gauche Americans who plunk down their hard-earned cash to see her movies.

"I love America and I completely stand behind America," Gwynnie said last spring, before she wed her America-hating rockstar husband, who had declared at an awards show that "We're all going to die when George Bush has his way." If this is Paltrow’s idea of American patriotism, let’s be glad that she will be teaching it to her child overseas, in the company of so many other celebrity expatriates from Madonna to Johnny Depp.

Good riddance, Hollyweirdos. And God bless America.

©2003 Creators Syndicate, Inc.

[Bad Dog2]

Well Paltrow was right about one thing, We are number one! Now she can go on my kist with Affleck and the others who I will not watch or patronize.

Tough Luck Gwennie!

[JohnHuang2]

lol

[driftless]

Agreed. Why mourn one more stupid leftist leaving the country. Would that all lefties left pronto. Of course I do apologize to Old Blighty for inflicting the likes of Pal-troll etal on you. But rather you than us...and don't send Pinter over here to equalize things.

[geedee]

Alas . . . I have to admit 'ol Gwyneth used to get my blood pumping. And when you're as old and fat as I am, when Viagra only giggles "Howdy do, lardass" as it sprints through my system, that's quite an accomplishment.

But then I saw her naked in Shakespeare In Love. I never have learned to like chicken wings.

[John Lenin]

And each state has it owns flag, argh, the horrors of it all ...

[Thoro]

Gwyneth saying that America is weird, yet she decides to live in a country that still has the archaic concept of a monarchy in the 21st century.

I wonder if she realizes that the country's she's chosen to live in has completely sided with us in our global actions.

She's just an ok actress, imo, nothing special, but ignorant comments like these make it harder to hold that opinion.

[ABG(anybody but Gore)]

Say what you will about Tom Hanks' beliefs, but I'll never be able to fathom how they could douse "Shakespeare in Love" with Oscars over "Saving Private Ryan", especially with idiots like Paltrow running their mouths like this.

Then I wake up and remember that Hollyweird hates America.

[Lucky2]

"We're all going to die when George Bush has his way."

No dear Gwyneth, people died because libs like you turned your back on your country and took care of touchy-feely issues instead of what counts. Thank God we have a strong President like President Bush, instead of a womanizing, self serving, horn-dog like Clinton. God bless America!

[mikeb704]

My favorite Gwynnie reference came from Kathleen Parker a few years ago. She described Jesse Jackson of (temporarily, of course) "keeping a lower profile than Gwyneth Paltrow's bodice.

Michael M. Bates: My Side of the Swamp

[T Lady]

"Marrying a woman for her good looks is like buying the house for the paint..."

...That's an awesome line! I'll just have to borrow it from you ;-). In Paltrow's case, I'll give her another 10 to 15 years before the paint job starts cracking.

-Regards, T.

[T Lady]

You, too? I'd thought I'd never run into anyone who agreed with me that "Saving Private Ryan" was robbed of the Best Picture Oscar; afterwards, I quit watching until last year, when Michael 'Lardo' Moore had his hissy-girly-man fit. That was the last Oscar broadcast for me.

-Regards, T.

[Floratina]

I would hardly decribe her father as a "prominent" director! :) I never heard of him or the mother until the daughter became famous.

[MS.BEHAVIN]

Hi T Lady...
Feel free to use it any time!
:-)
Ms.B

[Tymesup]

"Say what you will about Tom Hanks' beliefs"

Is that the Tom Hanks who said he regretted contributing 10,000 to Bill Clinton's campaign? And the next day said he regretted not contributing 20,000? At least he can act.

Not that Paltrow is a bad-looking woman, but I never understood all the fuss.