Posted on 01/06/2004 12:06:06 AM PST by JohnHuang2
'The Proper Care And Feeding Of Husbands'
Posted: January 6, 2004
1:00 a.m. Eastern
© 2004 WorldNetDaily.com
Why did you write this book aiming at the women – aren't both responsible for the quality of the marriage?
Of course! However, women are in the unique position of having an extraordinary amount of influence over their husbands, which when exercised thoughtfully, compassionately, lovingly and intelligently results in a happier husband who will "swim through shark infested waters to bring her a lemonade."
Women seem not to understand, or underestimate, the profound power they have over their husbands. Men are very emotionally dependent upon women from the day they are born to the day they expire. This book teaches women to use this power benevolently – which will definitely result in them being happier with life and love.
What are the most common complaints men have about their wives?
- Their women don't seem to have much regard for their feelings and needs
- Their women constantly criticize and dismiss them
- Their women don't seem to want to go out of their way to please them
- Their women nag, demand, and complain – and seem to behave as though they were entitled to do so
- Their women don't make them feel truly needed and valued as men
What are husbands' most important needs?
- He wants to feel like a "man" to his woman; he wants to feel he is providing and protecting
- He wants to feel she needs and admires him
- He wants to know she desires him
- Basically, "The Three A's": appreciation, approval and affection
What is the No. 1 worst mistake women make with respect to being happy in their marriages?
They marinate in negatives. It is typical of women to fester and ferment over disappointments, slights, annoyances, angers, etc. Women, more typically than men, will go over it ad infinitum in the own heads, with their mothers, sisters, friends, co-workers, neighbors, social groups (remember Jerry McGuire?) – in doing so they reinforce the negative and create a bad attitude – one which turns into entitlement for not being particularly nice.
Attitude is about believing that your mate has your best interests at heart – it is about not letting loving feelings be squelched by everyday annoyances and disappointments; it is about benefit of the doubt; it is about cherishing the moments and living for the well-being of the other and being sustained by the joy of giving and the blessing of receiving in return.
All through the book you say "men are simple" ... isn't that an insult?
Not at all! In fact, most all of the many hundreds of responses I received from men in preparing this book confirmed just that: "Men are only interested in two things: If I'm not horny, make me a sandwich," and "As a man, I can tell you our needs are simple. We want to be fed, we want our kids mothered, and we want lovin'."
What about sex? Are wives obligated to give their husbands sex on demand?
As a woman who happens to believe that orgasms are a fabulous gift and blessing from God, I am amazed at how many women callers are willing to give them up to the gods of "I'm tired," or "I'm annoyed." Now, anyone cannot be in the mood from time to time – that's natural. However, the denigration of male sexual needs (They are just animals) and the use of sex to punish or control (You didn't do what I wanted) and inappropriate prioritizing (My work and children take all my energy) are self-centered and self-defeating.
I ask my women callers who complain that their husbands are not happy with virtually no sexual intimacy (and, by the way, that's what the men truly feel about sex with their wives – it's the ultimate in "acceptance and approval" for them) if they would be satisfied with that profound a rejection and dismissal. They always say, "No, I guess not." Frankly, too many women treat their husbands as accessories instead of priorities.
Are there any marital situations for which your book does not apply?
Yes, most definitely. Where the behavior of the husbands is blatantly destructive, dangerous or evil, this book does not apply.
However, these ideas and techniques have salvaged and revitalized innumerable strained, stagnant, boring, disappointing, annoying, frustrating and even seemingly dead marriages. When I nag a woman caller to try just one simple behavior for one day, I inevitably get the call back that they are amazed at the difference a day made.
Are you going to write the book for men on the proper care and feeding of wives?
Nope. Men are born of women and between girlfriends and then a wife; men spend their entire lives in the tutelage of women. What women accept or reject is largely the guiding force for what men will and won't do. When they are treated with the Three A's, they naturally, and in gratitude and affection, give their women the attention, regard, respect, support and love they want.
The ideas and techniques in this book are simple and sweet. What a blessing for women to know that they largely control their own happiness! My job is to get their prejudices and bad attitudes out of their own way. Transforming your guy into a loving man is its own reward.
Young women are offended that so many guys leer. Decades later, they get offended when we stop. Can't win
Remember those white lacey things on homemade Valentine's Day cards?
Do these things throughout the day;
1. Hug her from behind while she's doing dishes.
2. Be in a good mood. Be funny.
3. When she walks into the room, look mildly surprised, then growl and grin. (Be subtle. Let her know you want her.)
4. Let her know that you find skinny women repulsive.
(unless she's skinny) Salvalate over women who have the feature she hates most about herself. (Use sparingly.)
5. Be playful.
6. If she still doesn't want to, say, "That's OK. Let's cuddle on the couch and watch a movie." Make the moves you made in college. (BE SUBTLE.) Remember, closeness = pheromones.
If you do not get any play that night, don't worry. The seed has been planted and she will come around. Unless she has a physical problem.
If she has a physical problem (pain during intercourse) suggest other ways to pleasure each other. BE AFFECTIONATE. Falling asleep in 2.4 seconds will not make her feel loved. And rest assured, gentlemen, women need to feel loved. Remember your manners; ladies first.
Women do NOT want to have sex if they are stressed out. Or if their partner is stressed. (Then they feel like they're being used for a release. Wives hate to feel like street walkers... most of the time. ;-)
WOMEN DO NOT WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH A MAN THEY DO NOT LIKE OR TRUST. Does she see you blow up and throw wrenches frequently? Are you criticizing her without realizing it? Are you a grumpy b*stard? Does foreplay for you mean saying, "wanna do it?"
I know you don't understand this, you don't have to. Just accept it. Foreplay for women begins hours before the lights go out. It's called a "mood". If you want it, you'll get her in it.
If we can make you want to give us what we want, you are perfectly capable of doing the same.
In my experience, no. They are too fixated on what it takes to be the princess-bride.
I take a different approach. I do things for her when she's nice to me. When she can't be bothered being nice, then I can't be bothered doing what she wants me to do. She likes it when she's able to get me to do stuff for her, so she makes an effort to be nice.
There's one columnist on the subject that seems to make sense. The short summary of his advise is: generally, women are only sexually attracted to men that they can respect and admire. If you are too much of a "nice guy" doormat who delivers what she wants, but she can get away with not needing to care about keeping you happy, then she will have no respect for you, and things will go south from there.
She isn't talking about manipulation. Manipulation isn't a manifestation of love; it's a manifestation of a dwarfed, powerless egocentrism which will, in time, turn a woman's heart stone-cold if the calculated action doesn't achieve the desired result.
A confident, self-assured woman-in-love who truly wants to please her man will give everything she has to do so. A woman who doesn't love her husband and is going through the motions to get what she wants will find something of herself to withhold from him, and he'll eventually figure out that he's being played for a fool. Men can be quite slow, but by and large we're extremely sure.
A doily is an unnecessary something that I inherited from my grandmother that my daughter insists on terrorizing me with. I take a shower and return to find my living room covered in little bits of lace. Coffee tables, chair arms, sofs backs... she'll put them under the dog's dish, under every plate at the dinner table, on top of the television and under my coffee cup. I hate doilies with the passion of a thousand suns.
Best advice I ever got: ignore what they say -- watch what they do. A person's actions are a much more positive indicator of their true feelings than words are. Somebody who goes on about how much they love you, but can't be bothered to make an effort to make you happy, is lying
;-)
Such an Attitude indicates that We (American Males) have been SERIOUSLY SHORTCHANGED in our "Sexual Education!!"
IF we (American Males) were taught how to "Please" our "Females," the "Proper Response" of our American Females would be, that we (the "sex-Partners of American Females") are TOO TIMID to FORCE appropriate Orgasms.
American Males have been CASTRATED by "Feminism."
There is a SOCIOBIOLOGIC Continuum which accepts the "Biology" of Humans.
"Feminism" is an OBSCENE PERVERSION of Basic Human "Sociobiology!"
"Women & Men" are a "Complimentary SET" of representative Organisms.
We are DESIGNED to "Complement Each Other!!"
Our "Individual Condition" was DESIGNED (By Who Knows??) to COMPLEMENT & Enhance the "Condition" of "The Other!"
In Short, "Society" seems to have been MEANT TO be "Enhanced By" the Interaction of "Men & Women!!"
Maybe That's WHY MOST MEN are Highly Gratified By the (Multiple) Orgasms of Their "Women!!"
If a Woman regards--even Multiple Orgasms--as an "Involuntary Biological Reaction,"; MOST MEN--who have Precipitated "Multiple Orgasms" in their "Loved Ones"--regard such a "Feat" as a "Feather-in-Their-Cap!!"
Most Men regard the "Generation of Orgasms" in thier "Lovers" as a "Measure" of Their "Expertise in SEX"!
Doc
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.