[SauronOfMordor]

BTW, no amount of catering will increase my odds. I help with the kids homework, bath them, clean up the house, and put the kids to bed. She is still "tired." After 10 years of marriage, I have learned not to humiliate myself and beg.

I take a different approach. I do things for her when she's nice to me. When she can't be bothered being nice, then I can't be bothered doing what she wants me to do. She likes it when she's able to get me to do stuff for her, so she makes an effort to be nice.

There's one columnist on the subject that seems to make sense. The short summary of his advise is: generally, women are only sexually attracted to men that they can respect and admire. If you are too much of a "nice guy" doormat who delivers what she wants, but she can get away with not needing to care about keeping you happy, then she will have no respect for you, and things will go south from there.

[Marie]

Sauron has a point. Women want men. They admire strength. They want to be wanted. But some women are worn-out, depressed, self-absorbed, bitter or selfish people. Some women are just not good people. Just like some men. If she won't put forth effort, you can't make her change. Just don't turn into my grandfather and work your butt off for your entire life for a nasty, naggy, lazy wife who refuses to even be kind. He didn't even get to outlive the witch.

[Quix]

Plenty of truth in that.