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Second-Hand Gas Kills 130,000 Americans a Year -
Yahoo.com ^
| October 20, 2003
Posted on 10/21/2003 9:54:43 AM PDT by UnklGene
Second-Hand Gas Kills 130,000 Americans a Year
Monday October 20, 2003
Federal health officials are expected to soon issue a report warning the public about the dangers of second-hand gas. Human gas, that is.
"Second-hand gas, if inhaled on a regular basis, can cause headache, irritated eyes, emphysema, asthma, bronchitis and in many cases, heart attack," says a physician with ties to the Centers for Disease Control.
"Each year, approximately 130,000 Americans die from second-hand gas -- and many others suffer serious ailments as a result of long-term exposure.
"Gas-passers and non-gas-passers alike must realize the extent to which breaking wind -- commonly called 'farting' -- damages everyone's health."
According to the soon-to-be-released CDC report, each year second-hand gas causes:
800 heart attacks 250 strokes 30,000 asthma attacks 50,000 cases of earache Due to poor dietary habits, there is now an "epidemic" of flatulence in America, the report warns. The average American produces a staggering three pints of gas and breaks wind 14 to 23 times daily.
TOPICS: Miscellaneous; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: pufflist
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1
posted on
10/21/2003 9:54:44 AM PDT
by
UnklGene
To: UnklGene
This has GOT to be from the Onion!
2
posted on
10/21/2003 9:57:10 AM PDT
by
IGOTMINE
(He needed killin')
To: UnklGene
I just had a gutful of Krystals. Time to wreak some havoc.
3
posted on
10/21/2003 9:57:24 AM PDT
by
TomServo
("Steve's dead now. From here on, Steve's death will be represented by the oboe.")
To: UnklGene
Fartogens are dangerous.
4
posted on
10/21/2003 9:58:39 AM PDT
by
Consort
To: IGOTMINE
Weekly World News... Close enough.
Don't Forget all the millions that will die from the sea levels rising, due to the grrenhouse effect of said gasses.
5
posted on
10/21/2003 9:59:20 AM PDT
by
UNGN
(I've been here since '98 but had nothing to say until now)
To: Consort
Fartogens = Fartcinogens
6
posted on
10/21/2003 9:59:35 AM PDT
by
Consort
To: UnklGene
How on earth can you have long term exposure? Some people must really need beeno.
7
posted on
10/21/2003 10:00:24 AM PDT
by
fml
To: UnklGene
Holy Methane of Death, Batman!!
8
posted on
10/21/2003 10:00:50 AM PDT
by
Charles Martel
(Liberals are the crab grass in the lawn of life.)
To: UnklGene
We need a law against flatulence!
We need to develop ways to fight the silent but deadly!
We need to form a lobby against Big A..
9
posted on
10/21/2003 10:01:31 AM PDT
by
Made In The USA
(Where is the outrage?!)
To: UnklGene
How in the world does "800 heart attacks 250 strokes 30,000 asthma attacks 50,000 cases of earache" a year make for 130,000 deaths a year?
10
posted on
10/21/2003 10:03:40 AM PDT
by
KillTime
To: Made In The USA
We have to do it for the children
11
posted on
10/21/2003 10:03:58 AM PDT
by
paul51
To: IGOTMINE
Check the link: it's from the
Weekly World News.
Still, the CDC report might be for real.
12
posted on
10/21/2003 10:04:08 AM PDT
by
okie01
(www.ArmorforCongress.com...because Congress isn't for the morally halt and the mentally lame.)
To: KillTime
How in the world does "800 heart attacks 250 strokes 30,000 asthma attacks 50,000 cases of earache" a year make for 130,000 deaths a year?The number of victims who die laughing was not noted.
13
posted on
10/21/2003 10:05:48 AM PDT
by
ThanhPhero
(Cac nguoi nen tham Cam Duc dep..)
To: KillTime
Add in 25,000 deaths in car crashes caused by flatulence.
14
posted on
10/21/2003 10:06:09 AM PDT
by
RightWhale
(Repeal the Law of the Excluded Middle)
To: UnklGene
Pull My Finger! ROFLMAO
To: UnklGene
file this one under "your tax dollars well spent"!
16
posted on
10/21/2003 10:06:55 AM PDT
by
camle
(no fool like a damned fool)
To: IGOTMINE
Close. It's in the Weekly World News.
17
posted on
10/21/2003 10:07:05 AM PDT
by
YourAdHere
(I see dead people....and they're voting for democrats)
To: UnklGene
Send me to IRAQ
18
posted on
10/21/2003 10:07:53 AM PDT
by
Tank-FL
(Keep the Faith - GO VMI Beat Richmond)
To: UnklGene
How many more must die before Congress passes a seven-day waiting period for baked beans?
To: KillTime
Somebody owes me a new keyboard, that diet DR pepper just is not going to come out. LMAO!!!
20
posted on
10/21/2003 10:09:06 AM PDT
by
RiflemanSharpe
(An American for a more socially and fiscally conservation America!)
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