30 things you'll never hear a woman say

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[freepatriot32]

1. You know, I've been complaining a lot lately. I don't blame you for ignoring me.

2. The new girl in my office is a real beauty, and a stripper too, I invited her over for dinner on Friday.

3. While you were in the bathroom, they went for it on fourth down and missed. If they can hold them to a field goal they'll still cover.

4. Bar food again! Kick a--.

5. I liked that wedding even more than ours. Your ex-girlfriend has class.

6. That girl is wearing the same outfit as I am. Cool, I'm gonna go over and talk to her.

7. Let's just leave the toilet seat "up" at all times, then you don't have to mess with it anymore.

8. I've decided to buy myself a boob job. How big do you want'em?

9. It's only the third quarter, you should order a couple more pitchers.

10. Honey, come here! Watch me do a Tequila Shot off of Stephanie's bare a--.

11. My mother is going to take care of the tab, so order another round for you and your friends.

12. I'm so happy with my new hairstyle, I don't think I'll ever change it again.

13. Damn! I love when my pillow smells like your cigars and beer.

14. You are so much smarter than my father.

15. If we're not going to have sex, then you have to let me watch football.

16. Are you sure you've had enough to drink?

17. I've decided to stop wearing clothes around the house.

18. You're so sexy when you're hung over.

19. I'd rather watch football and drink beer with you than go shopping.

20. Let's subscribe to Hustler.

21. I'll be out painting the house.

22. I love it when you ride your Harley, I just wish you had more time to ride.

23. Honey, our new neighbor's daughter is sunbathing again, come see!

24. No, No, I'll take the car to have the oil changed.

25. Your mother is way better than mine.

26. Do me a favor, forget the stupid Valentine's Day thing and buy yourself something.

27. Listen, I make enough money for the both of us, why don't you retire.

28. You need your sleep ya big silly, now stop getting up for the night feedings.

29. Look! My a-- is fatter than yours!

30. Let's get rid of my friends and keep all of yours.

[Arpege92]

Geez, if we women are that bad then why even have a relationship with us? Men aren't the only one's who mow the lawn, watch football and baseball and I have told my hubby to stay in bed on plenty of occasions. In fact, tonight my hubby wanted a special kind of hot dog for supper and I went to four different stores until I found his favorite hot dogs. :-}

[Tax-chick]

Married, seven kids. How we managed that around our TV interests is another question ...

[Cathryn Crawford]

I'm curious as to whether or not you've ever said any of these things.

Well, in certian situations...

25. Your mother is way better than mine.

Yep.

16. Are you sure you've had enough to drink?

I've said that before. :-)

19. I'd rather watch football and drink beer with you than go shopping.

I'm not a huge shopper - though that's what I did all day today. :-)

But then one thing I've never said is...

14. You are so much smarter than my father.

No one is smarter than my father. ;-)

[fourdeuce82d]

31. I don't think you have enough guns- you need to get another 1911. Plus, I think you should buy me that Commemorative Beretta.

Actually...my girl DID say that!

[Major_Risktaker]

#30 is a classic. Little did I know but being PW'ed is not having any more bud's to hang out with. Amazing how stealthy she eliminates all of your friends, one by one until you wake up and dump her.

How about this: I'm not going thru your things just cleaning up abit. RIGHT SNOOPY!

Women are OK, even if they give you a hard time.

But I must say, guys that create bugs in e-mail I would cr_sh there F*!#*&G fingers with a b@seb@ll b@t so they couldn't c%de anymore. I'll tell you that for nothing!

[rabidralph]

4, 9, 12, 15, 16, 19, 24. Yep, they definitely know all the wrong women.

[glock rocks]

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/949675/posts

[Atlas Sneezed]

Me too!

[FLAMING DEATH]

Here are my additions...

"I bought this because it's just like the designer brand, only cheaper!"

"I think the oil is low in the car."

"You know, if we have decorative soaps, why not decorative guns, too?"

"Wow. I have too many shoes."

"My turn to mow the lawn!"

[DaughterOfAnIwoJimaVet]

My husband just listened to me read him the list, and he said I have said (and would say) a lot of these things.

I'm very different, apparently! (But I've worked around men, and had mostly male friends my whole life...maybe that's why.)

P.S. GO PACKERS!!!!!!!

[DaughterOfAnIwoJimaVet]

Fun thread ping! : )

[freedumb2003]

32. Isn't she beautiful??

HAH! Classic Death Trap.

If you answer "Yes" then you get "you think she's more beautiful than me, huh? Scum! I HATE YOU!"

If you answer "No", then you get "you liar! What else have you lied to me about? Are you going out with her? Scum! I HATE YOU!"

[Guillermo]

Exactly.

[Chad Fairbanks]

"Let's never discuss 'feelings' again. I know how much you hate all that emotional s**t..."

[pyx]

#31 I was wrong about 'XYZ' and I admit it.

[DaughterOfAnIwoJimaVet]

I have been known to take emotional issues "off the table" before, not wanting to discuss them - and I've been argued with! How about that? (Yes, I am female.)

[LaraCroft]

There are plenty of low maintenance non stuck up women around. The problem is none of them look like Pam Anderson.

I think he is setting his sights a little too high and trying to date outside of his league.

[DaughterOfAnIwoJimaVet]

That's another one I can do.

I have a neighbor who is 25, tall, slender, and exotically and stunningly beautiful (in my opinion) - and I have absolutely no problem saying so. I would think my man was crazy if he didn't agree - and no, I wouldn't think he was lying if he didn't...I would just think he was crazy.

(I say enough of these that I'm seriously starting to question my femininity now. I have to get off of this thread!)