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30 things you'll never hear a woman say
nomarriage.com ^ | ?? | ???

Posted on 08/17/2003 2:08:54 PM PDT by freepatriot32

1. You know, I've been complaining a lot lately. I don't blame you for ignoring me.

2. The new girl in my office is a real beauty, and a stripper too, I invited her over for dinner on Friday.

3. While you were in the bathroom, they went for it on fourth down and missed. If they can hold them to a field goal they'll still cover.

4. Bar food again! Kick a--.

5. I liked that wedding even more than ours. Your ex-girlfriend has class.

6. That girl is wearing the same outfit as I am. Cool, I'm gonna go over and talk to her.

7. Let's just leave the toilet seat "up" at all times, then you don't have to mess with it anymore.

8. I've decided to buy myself a boob job. How big do you want'em?

9. It's only the third quarter, you should order a couple more pitchers.

10. Honey, come here! Watch me do a Tequila Shot off of Stephanie's bare a--.

11. My mother is going to take care of the tab, so order another round for you and your friends.

12. I'm so happy with my new hairstyle, I don't think I'll ever change it again.

13. Damn! I love when my pillow smells like your cigars and beer.

14. You are so much smarter than my father.

15. If we're not going to have sex, then you have to let me watch football.

16. Are you sure you've had enough to drink?

17. I've decided to stop wearing clothes around the house.

18. You're so sexy when you're hung over.

19. I'd rather watch football and drink beer with you than go shopping.

20. Let's subscribe to Hustler.

21. I'll be out painting the house.

22. I love it when you ride your Harley, I just wish you had more time to ride.

23. Honey, our new neighbor's daughter is sunbathing again, come see!

24. No, No, I'll take the car to have the oil changed.

25. Your mother is way better than mine.

26. Do me a favor, forget the stupid Valentine's Day thing and buy yourself something.

27. Listen, I make enough money for the both of us, why don't you retire.

28. You need your sleep ya big silly, now stop getting up for the night feedings.

29. Look! My a-- is fatter than yours!

30. Let's get rid of my friends and keep all of yours.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS:
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To: tiamat
Actually, porn is just a prelude to something better, anyway.......
I'd hate to get engrossed in a good sci-fi movie and miss it!
61 posted on 08/17/2003 3:23:37 PM PDT by TexasCowboy (COB1)
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To: tet68
OUR's

LOL!

62 posted on 08/17/2003 3:38:16 PM PDT by StriperSniper (Make South Korea an island)
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To: tiamat
Hate the mall. If he's are willing to substitue "porn" for sci-fi or a cop show, I'm there......

Me, too! Or a John Wayne movie. And substitute wine for beer (with 7-Up, before 5:00 p.m.)

And I don't like jewelry, and I have a total of six pairs of shoes (sneakers, sandals, off-white pumps, black pumps, Nocona boots, house slippers), and I love to go fishing and take care of the babies while the Net-knight does Scout stuff. And I'll happily read a book or do crafts while he plays Zoo Tycoon for hours. And he picked out the floors and carpeting for our new house ...

I guess there's just something wrong with me.

63 posted on 08/17/2003 3:41:44 PM PDT by Tax-chick (Out of touch with trends since 1966.)
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To: freepatriot32
bump for later
64 posted on 08/17/2003 3:42:05 PM PDT by Skooz (Tagline removed by moderator)
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To: TexasCowboy
porn is just a prelude to something better

Bleah! Only if you think throwing up is better than "Stargate."

65 posted on 08/17/2003 3:43:15 PM PDT by Tax-chick (Out of touch with trends since 1966.)
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To: MEG33
I object to a lot of them.... I have said a lot of this stuff, or versions that are even more fun. Not all that obsessed with the position of the toilet seat though.... Our poster knows apparently knows only caricature wimmin.

66 posted on 08/17/2003 3:45:12 PM PDT by HairOfTheDog (And whither then? I cannot say)
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Comment #67 Removed by Moderator

To: Tax-chick
Tax-chick wrote:

I guess there's just something wrong with me.

********************************************

If it's wrong with you, then I'm all wrong too!

LOL!

I had forgotten about John Wayne movies.... they will do as well.....

Tia

68 posted on 08/17/2003 3:53:10 PM PDT by tiamat ("Just a Bronze-Age Gal, Trapped in a Techno World!")
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To: freepatriot32
tacky
69 posted on 08/17/2003 3:55:21 PM PDT by pointsal
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To: TexasCowboy
TexasCowboy wrote:

Actually, porn is just a prelude to something better, anyway....... I'd hate to get engrossed in a good sci-fi movie and miss it!

****************************************

Hey, Cowboy, if you're with the right person that will NEVER happen!

I see movies as something to do "in between rounds"!

;-)

Tia

70 posted on 08/17/2003 3:55:57 PM PDT by tiamat ("Just a Bronze-Age Gal, Trapped in a Techno World!")
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To: Guillermo
32. Isn't she beautiful??

Said it. I admire beauty whether it is male or female.

It will not, however be followed by, "Why don't you go get to know her," unless the guy is only a friend and I am trying to find someone for him.

71 posted on 08/17/2003 4:04:50 PM PDT by Harmless Teddy Bear (Under advice from my lawyer I will now be known as Mostly Harmless Teddy Bear)
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To: LindaSOG
LOL!
I like your list better!
Searching....................I really don't think I've ever said any of those things!
I must be the perfect man!
72 posted on 08/17/2003 4:05:23 PM PDT by TexasCowboy (COB1)
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To: tiamat
"I see movies as something to do "in between rounds"!"

That's the reason I look at the length of the movie before I rent it.
It's amazing how few movies they make that are less than thirty minutes long.

73 posted on 08/17/2003 4:10:38 PM PDT by TexasCowboy (COB1)
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To: riri
I swear I have said 19 and 22. Although it is a BMW bike not a harley. I guess it still counts.

Red

74 posted on 08/17/2003 4:11:38 PM PDT by Conservative4Ever (life is but a dream...Sha Boom)
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To: freepatriot32
4. Bar food again! Kick a--.

That's one thing a good outdoors woman doesn't mind. Particularly with all of the fish frys in Wisconsin.
75 posted on 08/17/2003 4:12:02 PM PDT by July 4th
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To: WhyisaTexasgirlinPA
I draw the line with mowing.
76 posted on 08/17/2003 4:19:27 PM PDT by anniegetyourgun
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To: Tax-chick
A chick that likes "Stargate?" Holy-moly that's hot!!!
77 posted on 08/17/2003 4:26:14 PM PDT by KayEyeDoubleDee (const tag& thisTagWontChange)
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To: CWOJackson
"I've actually seen "ladies", and one so-called guy, posting on FR claiming that the only reason people made such a big deal out of PFC Lynch was because she's petite and pretty."

...and you don't think that is a sincere, legitimate observation?

Since we do have many ladies (I assume you know the difference) here on FR, I would trust their observations. They have, in the main, not been taken in by the "new wave" thinking that women in the military are equal to men in combat situations.
78 posted on 08/17/2003 4:27:24 PM PDT by VMI70 (...but two Wrights made an airplane)
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To: Iwo Jima
In fact, it was.
79 posted on 08/17/2003 4:40:46 PM PDT by NativeNewYorker (Freepin' Jew Boy)
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To: TexasCowboy
TexasCowboy wrote:

That's the reason I look at the length of the movie before I rent it. It's amazing how few movies they make that are less than thirty minutes long.

*************************************************************

LOL!

I have never researched that! These are indeed tough noogies!

Tia

80 posted on 08/17/2003 4:43:23 PM PDT by tiamat ("Just a Bronze-Age Gal, Trapped in a Techno World!")
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