Classes for Men

http://quasisemi.com/humor/ind.php?id=267 ^

[SAMWolf]

Classes for men at our local Learning Center for Adults:

Note: Due to the complexity and difficulty level of their contents, each course will accept a maximum of 8 participants each.

Topic 1 - How to fill up the ice cube trays. Step by step, with slide presentation.

Topic 2 - The toilet paper roll: Do rolls grow on the holders? Round table discussion.

Topic 3 - Is it possible to urinate using the technique of lifting the seat up and avoiding the floor/walls and nearby bathtub? Group practice.

Topic 4 - Fundamental differences between the laundry hamper and the floor. Pictures and explanatory graphics.

Topic 5 - The after-dinner dishes and silverware: Can they levitate and fly into the kitchen sink? Examples on video.

Topic 6 - Loss of identity: Losing the remote to your significant other. Help-line support and support groups.

Topic 7 - Learning how to find things, starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down while screaming. Open forum.

Topic 8 - Health watch: Bringing her flowers is not harmful to your health. Graphics and audiotape.

Topic 9 - Real men ask for directions when lost. Real life testimonials.

Topic 10 - Is it genetically impossible to sit quietly as she parallel parks? Driving simulation.

Topic 11 - Learning to live together: Basic differences between your mother and your wife. Online class and role playing.

Topic 12 - How to be the ideal shopping companion. Relaxation, exercises, meditation and breathing techniques.

Topic 13 - How to fight cerebral atrophy: Remembering birthdays, anniversaries, other important dates and calling when you're going to be late. Cerebral shock therapy sessions and full lobotomies offered.

**Upon completion of the course, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.**

[Argh]

I must being living wrong, nothing like that ever happens to me.

[SAMWolf]

Yeah. I lost my "Mars Attacks" and "Centenial Civil War" bubble gum card collection and all my "Haunted Tank" Comics the same way. Must be a Mom thing.

[snippy_about_it]

ARGH! lol.

[SAMWolf]

Naw, you just need to marry someone who belongs in the "Home for the Criminally Clean". I've had books I was reading put away when I laid them down to get a cup of coffee.

So there are disadvantages too.

[Argh]

My comics too, my Spidermans and Batmans. Or is that Spidermen and Batmen? Christ, my head, isn't it time to go home yet??

[SAMWolf]

It has to be in a Mom's genes. Why else would they do that?

[Johnny Gage]

ROFL!

THANK GOD IT'S FRIDAY!

[Argh]

So far, the only advantage I can think of is the Laundry Fairy. Let's face it, the cheap physical stuff wears pretty thin about a year in (if that long), and as for books, I like them scattered all over my bedroom just where I tossed them, thanks. And let's not even mention NAGGING (what's with wimmen, they have a nagging gene?), watching sports, having doughnuts for dinner, getting drunk and falling asleep, and chasing other wimmen...

[snippy_about_it]

(what's with wimmen, they have a nagging gene?)

Why yes we do...You didn't know that? lol.

[Argh]

Oh, I see the gene idea wasn't original to me. Which gives it a striking resemblance to every other idea I ever had.

No, Sam, on second thought allowing for a gene or two let's 'em off too easy, it's got to be orneriness, AKA The Hillary Syndrome.

[snippy_about_it]

The Hillary Syndrome.

Now you've gone and done it. tsk tsk.

[Argh]

AH HA! Miss Snippy (I love your screen name!), you clutched at that straw a little too quickly. So now we know a gene is out of the question.

:^)

[snippy_about_it]

No. I knew you were going to say it. Wimmin's intuition dontcha know!

[Argh]

Oops, sorry Miss Snip!

[SAMWolf]

having doughnuts for dinner, getting drunk and falling asleep, and chasing other wimmen...

Except for the donuts for dinner(which I still have sometimes) I sorta miss the opher stuff.

[SAMWolf]

The Hillary Syndrome

IMHO proof that God can make mistakes. She's just a mean, viscious, spitful being full of hate for everyone except herself.

[Pippin]

Need some help, Snippy?

[snippy_about_it]

You gotta be careful around here. No women I know wants any comparison of her made to that thing, least not at FR for sure.

Just a little advice. You know we women love to give advice. :)

[snippy_about_it]

C'mon in girl!

[snippy_about_it]

Thank you for only calling her a being 'cause that ain't no woman.