Here, Joe-I'm taking your last cup of coffee, but I will make another pot for anyone who comes in before I have to leave for work...
I know it's early, Joe, but set me up a cold, amber one, or even a little darker and I will see if I can find a story to start your day.
Hi Joe. Make mine a nice irish coffee and a Partagas corona.
Here are a couple of tidbits to entertain all.
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from JT, an Armenian
Subject:
Greek Riddles but who says it cannot be ARMENIAN???
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The Harvard School of Medicine did a study of why Greek women like Chinese food so much.
The study revealed that this is due to the fact that Won Ton spelled backwards is Not Now.
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There's a big controversy on the Greek view of when life begins.
In Greek tradition, the fetus is not considered viable until after it graduates from medical school.
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Q: Why don't Greek mothers drink?
A: Alcohol interferes with their suffering.
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Q: Have you seen the newest Greek-American Princess horror movie?
A: It's called "Demetra Does Dishes".
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Q: Why do Greek Mothers make great parole officers?
A: They never let anyone finish a sentence.
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When the doctor called Mrs. Megakolos to tell her that her check came back, she replied, "So did my arthritis."
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A man calls his mother in Florida. "Mom, how are you?"
"Not too good," says the mother. "I've been very weak."
The son says, "Why are you so weak?"
She says, "Because I haven't eaten in 38 days."
The man says, "That's terrible. Why haven't you eaten in 38 days?"
The mother answers, "Because I didn't want my mouth to be filled with food if you should call."
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A Greek boy comes home from school and tells his mother he's been given a part in the school play.
"Wonderful. What part is it?"
The boy says, "I play the part of the Greek husband."
The mother scowls and says, "Go back and tell the teacher you want a speaking part.
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Q - Where does a Greek husband hide money from his wife?
A - Under the vacuum cleaner.
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Q - How many Greek mothers does it take to change a light bulb?
A - (Sigh) Don't bother, I'll sit in the dark, I don't want to be a nuisance to anybody.
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Did you hear about the bum who walked up to the Greek mother on the Street and said, "Lady, I haven't eaten in three days."
"Force yourself," she replied.
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Q: What's the difference between a Rottweiler and a Greek Mother?
A: Eventually, the Rottweiler lets go.
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Greek telegram: "Begin worrying. Details to follow."
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The year is 2012 and the United States of America has recently elected the first Greek President.
So the President-elect calls up his mother a few weeks after election day;
"So ma, I assume you will be coming to my inauguration?"
"I don't think so. It's a ten hour drive, and your father isn't as young as he used to be, and my gout is acting up again."
"Don't worry about it Mom, I'll send Air Force One to pick you up and take you home.
And a limousine will pick you up at your door."
"I don't know. Everybody will be so fancy, I don't know what on Earth I would wear."
"Oh mom," replies the new president, "don't worry about it.
I'll make sure you have a wonderful gown by Christian Dior."
"Honey," Mom complains, "you know I can't eat those rich foods you and your friends like to eat"
The President-to-be responds, "Don't worry Mom. The entire affair is going to be handled by
the best Greek caterer in New York, and you can tell him how to make the Tiropitakia.
Mom, I want you to come."
So Mom agrees and so on January 21, 2013, the son is being sworn in as
President of the United States of America. In the front row sits the
New President's mother, who leans over to a Senator sitting next to her;
"You see that man over there with his hand on the Bible, becoming President of the United States?"
The Senator whispers back, "Yes I do."
"His brother is a doctor."
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And if you haven't seen 'My Big Fat Greek Wedding" go rent it!
Very Funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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These put Hooter's to shame! Check 'em out!
http://www.nice-tits.org/
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Make a Shorter Link is a website that reduces the size of URL's.
http://makeashorterlink.com/
It seems to work ... and so far, during my tests, those shortened MapQuest links worked.
http://www.mapquest.com/maps/map.adp?country=US&addtohistory=&address=2341+Winchester&city=campbell&state=ca&zipcode=&homesubmit=Get+Map
becomes
http://makeashorterlink.com/?K2A512B03
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NO CABBAGE FOR YOU
Two elderly ladies meet at the launderette after not seeing one another for some time.
After inquiring about each other's health one asked how the other's husband was doing.
"Oh! Ted died last week. He went out to the garden to dig up a cabbage for dinner,
had a heart attack and dropped down dead, right there in the middle of the vegetable patch!"
"Oh dear! I'm very sorry," replied her friend. "What did you do?"
"Opened a can of peas instead."
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Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
"So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
"No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me,
so I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him."
Have a great weekend!
