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Free Republic Smokers' Lounge
Puff List ^ | 7/26/02 | francisandbeans

Posted on 07/26/2002 7:28:54 AM PDT by Just another Joe

Join the FR smokers lounge bump list...click on the logo

Welcome Friends, foes and associates to the completely remodeled Free Republic...

Smoker's Lounge

Here you will find a comfy place to smoke, drink, joke or whatever. We always have a great time, so sit back, relax and...

Smoke 'em if you got 'em
shssh
shsshs
shsshssh
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shsshssh
shsshs
shssh
shssh
shsshs
shsshssh
shsshsshs
shsshssh
shsshs
shssh
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shsshssh
shsshsshs
shsshssh
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shssh
aaaaa,:`___________________________||`,:'.",`.;'`,:'.',`:
<--------Life is good!

A very special thank you to Registered for providing us with this fine logo....we will bear it with pride.


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Chit/Chat; Health/Medicine; Hobbies; Miscellaneous; Society
KEYWORDS: butts; individualliberty; michaeldobbs; niconazi; pufflist; smoke; smokers; smokingbans; tobacco; tobaccotaxes
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To: All



It is impossible to lick your elbow. 

A crocodile can't stick it's tongue out.



A shrimp's heart is in their head.

People say "Bless you" when you sneeze

because when you sneeze, your heart stops for a mili-second.

In a study of 200,000 ostriches over a  period of 80 years, no one reported a single case where an ostrich buried its head in the sand (or attempted to do so - apart from Bones ). 



It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.

A pregnant goldfish is called a twit 

Between 1937 and 1945 Heinz produced a version of Alphabet Spaghetti especially for the German market that consisted solely of little pasta swastikas.

More than 50% of the people in the world have never made or received a telephone call. 



Rats and horses can't vomit. 

The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language. 

If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel  in your head or neck and die. if you keep your eyes open by force, they can pop out.

 Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over a million descendants.



Wearing headphones for just an hour will  increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.

In every episode of Seinfeld there is a Superman somewhere. 

The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.

Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.

If the government has no knowledge of  aliens, then why does Title 14, Section 1211 of the Code of Federal Regulations, implemented on July 16, 1969, make it illegal for U.S. citizens to have any contact with extraterrestrials or their vehicles? 



A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.

23% of all photocopier faults worldwide are caused by people sitting on them and photocopying their buttocks.

Most lipstick contains fish scales.

In the course of an average lifetime you will, while sleeping, eat 70 assorted insects and 10 spiders.



Cat's urine glows under a black-light.

Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different.

121 posted on 07/26/2002 12:33:28 PM PDT by MeekOneGOP
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To: SheLion
Thank you! I'm now a pint low and will be wiped for the rest of the night. The good thing is that the wine will take hold a little sooner. Yeehaa!

Let the fun begin! A glass of wine bartender!

122 posted on 07/26/2002 12:35:47 PM PDT by Sunshine Sister
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To: All

 Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over a million descendants.

I hope that doesn't apply to Alan Colmes, the Liberal RAT on FOX's
H&C........

123 posted on 07/26/2002 12:36:30 PM PDT by MeekOneGOP
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To: doubled
You can say that again!
124 posted on 07/26/2002 12:36:34 PM PDT by Sunshine Sister
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To: All


125 posted on 07/26/2002 12:39:54 PM PDT by MeekOneGOP
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To: MeeknMing
"Little Pasta Swastikas" would be a great name for a rock band.
126 posted on 07/26/2002 12:41:44 PM PDT by lds23
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To: All
WorldCom Calculator



127 posted on 07/26/2002 12:44:23 PM PDT by MeekOneGOP
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To: All
How Many Prongs Do You See?



128 posted on 07/26/2002 12:50:12 PM PDT by MeekOneGOP
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To: All
I'd lose my head if it weren't attached!



129 posted on 07/26/2002 1:00:08 PM PDT by MeekOneGOP
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To: MeeknMing
Hahahahaha...
130 posted on 07/26/2002 1:06:06 PM PDT by Argh
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To: MeeknMing
It is impossible to lick your elbow.

Not true. Here's what you do:

1. Cut off your arm above the elbow.

2. Pick up arm.

3. Lick elbow.

131 posted on 07/26/2002 1:09:49 PM PDT by Argh
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To: Argh
Is there a bartender around here?
132 posted on 07/26/2002 1:34:16 PM PDT by Focault's Pendulum
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To: lds23
"Little Pasta Swastikas" would be a great name for a rock band.

hehehe
Recycled, but a goodie!

The Lone Ranger and Tonto are in the desert. They set up their tent, start a campire, eat then go to sleep.

Some hours later, The Lone Ranger wakes his faithful friend. "Tonto, look up and tell me what you see."

Tonto replies, "Me see millions of stars."

"What does that tell you?" ask The Lone Ranger.

Tonto ponders for a minute.

"Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.
Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three.
Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all powerful and we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
What does it tell you, Kemo Sabi?"

The Lone Ranger is silent for a moment, then speaks.

"Tonto, you dumb @$$, someone has stolen our tent."

133 posted on 07/26/2002 1:38:00 PM PDT by MeekOneGOP
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To: Argh
3. Lick elbow.

Sounds easy enough. Steps #1 & #2 are doozies, tho!

134 posted on 07/26/2002 1:42:59 PM PDT by MeekOneGOP
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To: All

WHAT NOT TO SAY TO A POLICE OFFICER!



 

1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas)

2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

3. Aren't you the guy from the Village People?

4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!

5. Are You Andy or Barney?

6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.

7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

8. I pay your salary!

9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!

10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.

12. When the Officer says "Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with, "Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"


135 posted on 07/26/2002 1:45:53 PM PDT by MeekOneGOP
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To: All


David received a parrot for his birthday. This parrot was fully grown with a bad attitude and worse vocabulary. Every other word was an expletive. Those that weren't expletives were, to say the least, rude.

David tried hard to change the bird's attitude and was constantly saying polite words, playing soft music, and anything else that came to mind. Nothing worked. He yelled at the bird and the bird got worse. He shook the bird and the bird got madder and ruder.

Finally, in a moment of desperation, David put the parrot in the freezer. For a few moments he heard the bird squawking, kicking and screaming and then, suddenly, all was quiet.

David, frightened that he might have actually hurt the bird, quickly opened the freezer door. The parrot calmly stepped out onto David's extended arm and said, "I'm sorry that I offended you with my language and actions. I ask for your forgiveness."

David was astounded at the bird's change in attitude and was about to ask what changed him when the parrot continued, "May I ask what the chicken did?"

136 posted on 07/26/2002 2:02:32 PM PDT by MeekOneGOP
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To: All
Not for the weak-hearted! You've probably seen this before.....

FREAKY Picture!!

137 posted on 07/26/2002 2:12:45 PM PDT by MeekOneGOP
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To: All
All right, so I'm slow getting back to fill everyones drink orders.

You people know that when you can't find me you're supposed to fill out that little bar card and serve yourself.

138 posted on 07/26/2002 2:58:58 PM PDT by Just another Joe
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To: All
Back again later.
139 posted on 07/26/2002 3:03:19 PM PDT by Just another Joe
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To: maxwell; Just another Joe
Hi guys! I want you to know I was looking for the Smoker's Lounge......YESTERDAY......lol...... where was my mind?
140 posted on 07/26/2002 3:06:36 PM PDT by WhyisaTexasgirlinPA
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