Mean Mommies

None | July 21, 2002 | Mean Mommies

[WIMom]

This thread, hopefully, will be dedicated to parenting issues conservative face on a daily basis. The issues will be broad, but the primary focus will be on current events and how they effect raising children in today's liberal society.

I can not always start a new thread if we need one, so I envision a group effort. If a thread needs to be created, start one. There is no point person per se. We are all parents, we are all busy, and we can all take initiative when needed. Heck, we are parents.

This topic discussion is not just limited to parents, those who want to experience our parenting styles but have no children are welcome. We can learn from everyone. Young adults are especially welcome to add their perspective.

These are in no way set rules, but my ideas. Let's add to them, delete from them, or chuck the entire idea if it is too cheesy. (I just had to, sorry)

Let me try to explain how the Mean Mommies started. (Mo1, correct any inaccuracies) During the June Fundraiser, Mo1, expressed how she was being bombarded by neighbor kids (here after known as the 'village idiots') and the daily hassle it was because he Village Idiots were intruding on her family. Now, those kids live literally in her bushes. They appear at 6:00 AM, 2:00, PM, at dinner, or when the family is heading out to the beach. They are there constantly. So, Mo1, has put her foot down. The Village Idiots are allowed over some times, but not every waking second of every day. Mo1's kids hate her because they get grounded just to avoid the Village Idiots, and had dubbed her a Mean Mommy.

So, Mo1, are the Village Idiots still hassling your family?

This is the initial group. If this thread is a success, we all have to keep it updated. I can not be expected to run this on a daily basis, we all have to. That's where I need assurance from this core group, can we depend on you? There seems to be a huge interest with parenting, so we will need everyone to 'parent' these threads. Post your updates periodically for the rest of us. I can not spend every day here, just like all other parents and families. (Heh, I'd be single if that happened)

So, what do you all think? Good idea? Bad Idea? Can this be successful? Let's at least start the discussion, see where it leads.

[Keith in Iowa]

Sure - have the party. But be ready to get sued when some kid driving home the next day gets in a wreck - even if they were sober when they left - you'd still wind up in court for a civil case, then, you'd probably be up on criminal charges for permitting the under-age drinking.

[Auntie Mame]

Should we do it or should we say 'no way'?????

Do it without alcohol. It's against the law for these kids to drink, they are underage. Why do you (and they apparently) think they need alcohol to have a good time with their friends?

[WIMom]

homeschool mama, do you wish to be on the ping list? This effort is just getting underway, so please forgive the 'extra' pings. Once we have our group established, that should diminish.

What we need now is, can you help this effort and is it something we can make happen? I'd also like to see other parents chime in. Yea, ney, or no comment. Anything. I stated I'd get it started, but to keep it running, I need other's support. Is this worthwhile? Should it be continued or is it a dead duck and forget about it?

[Exit148]

My first thought, (aside from the legality of it) was that once the word goes out that there is going to be a 'beer party', or even a 'bon fire'party, you will have many uninvited guests. You might not be able to control whatever happens.

Also, my second thought -- all you need is for one parent, of any of the girls, to speak up about the drinking, and you could be in deep-doo doo.

How about putting yourself in the position of how you would feel if your girls went to someone elses party where you knew there would be drinking. You can trust your own girls, but can you trust the others -- or even the parents?

All this is aside from the law, itself.

One of my sons had a party when he was in HS. Closed party - no drinking. Some jocks heard about it, tried to get in, and when they were refused, they splintered the front door. Since your party would be outdoors, you might have some problems.

[WIMom]

That's my worry. If they have a problem later.

[homeschool mama]

I really like the idea...but don't know how often I'd be visiting...although...maybe I should spend more time on these types of thread and not on others that lead me into freeper quarrels. LOL ...sure, sign me up.

[kayak]

As I told you in my FReepmail, I'm pretty prudish. I say no to drinking at the party. What are you teaching the girls about respect for the law if you put your blessing on this?

If they think the law is wrong, then teach them how to fight it ..... how to become an activist (in a good way). But should you teach them to flaunt laws with which you/they disagree?

[homeschool mama]

bump

[WhyisaTexasgirlinPA]

You know me and know that I am NOT uptight about things.......but even with your daughters being the age that they are, I wouldn't do it..........

Times are different and you could be sued and even arrested for this if anyone complained........ I would tell the girls to have the party, but no alcohol........if someone happens to sneak it in and you are not aware, then that is out of your control...........

[homeschool mama]

In addition to what other freepers have posted...if your husband is against this type of party, respect him and don't allow the party. Just my humble opinion.

[homeschool mama]

good answer

[Mo1]

Ok .. here is my feelings and concerns

How close are the neighbors .. teenagers make A LOT of noise and should a cop show up due to the noise .. then you are in BIG trouble for the beer

Next .. how dry is it .. I know around here they have put a ban on any kind of burns

Now your kids and their friends may not be a problem .. but the problem comes when their friends invite to friends and then those two friends invite two friends

If this happens .. before you know it .. you will have an out of control party

[WIMom]

Their rational is we are able to do everything as legal adults. Military, murder, whatever. Those of us who have been able to drink at 18, realize the age might need to be revised to those who have successfully graduated high school or an equavalancy, or are over 18. These kids are a very good bunch of kids. And as for 'why do they need alcohol for a party', they have had hundreds of non alcohol parties and feel this isn't a 'biggie'. (as my oldest stated) They have no where to go for a night out. The teen non drinking clubs are filled with 16-17 year olds. The aren't comfortable with that group. (very immature) They have all the responsibilities of adults, (rent, bills, bill collectors, college tuition, grades, etc.), but can't have a couple beers. They will not be allowed to drive once they are here. Period. Some of the kids are over 21 some are under. It's a 'tween age.

I know some parents will say no way, I know others will say maybe, and others will say definately. I'm open and listening to all. I haven't decided yet, this just came up today.

[WIMom]

Totally understand. These are college kids, and I personally the parents, those we don't know would get a call from us. We would let the parents know what was up before hand. I have their numbers and the total number of kids would be about 20. If someone uninvited (gang of kids unknown) shows up, we would not let them be here. This is what we've discussed so far.

[WIMom]

I'm so glad I through this out for discussion. Everyone's input is so great. Of course, I get blindsided by the kid's perspective. This is a great example of how the MM's can work.

[Exit148]

Whatever name is fine with me, but I'll always be a Mean Mommie. My husband was a 'plug-ugly pop'(meaning 'tough'), but we survived --in spite of our kids! BTW--all 4 kids have made us proud.

[Mo1]

You know WImom .. I see your point and can understand them .. I use to have parties at that age myself

The thing is .. times have changed big time and like I said if word gets out that there is a beer party then things can get out of hand real fast

And if the police show up you & your husband will be in BIG trouble .. so you have to ask yourself ... Is it really worth it

[southerngrit]

My experience with this kind of thing has been mixed. My son threw a party when we were in Florida - I knew immediately because there were seven ice chests on my patio and the whole house reeked of Pledge - no way I left it that clean on my way to the beach!!

On the other hand, my oldest daughter threw a party at our home while we were away. She was 21. The hooligans who showed up were who knows what age. The whole thing got completely out of control. She went next door and asked our good friend and neighbor to call the police just to get these creeps out of our house.

My instinct would be to shy away from this - particularly the beer and overnight plans. It's those twenty percent of your daughters' friends you have to worry about.

[WIMom]

Let me say, I'm sort of proud of my kids for even broaching the subject with me. Most kids today wouldn't even ask their parents about a 'party'. So, given that, I feel I have to at least consider it. That's what I told them. I'd think about it. Then, starting this parenting thread, it didn't even cross mind to ask until later. But these are the real issues we face every day, and getting all your advice and input has helped tremdously.

[WIMom]

Let's say I decide to let them have their party. What would happen to the adults if it was to get out of control? And the 'adult' friends? I'm seriously going to say no, but I want to cover all the topics. Plus, since my kids are smart and savvy, 'because I said so' doesn't cut it anymore. hahahaha.