Word For The Day, Tuesday, 6/25/02

The Verbivores | 6/25/02 | Teacher

[RikaStrom]

LOL, it shoulda been a Friday word, huh? Wonder what I will do this Friday? :-)

[Slip18]

"Once sean and i become an item, i intend to disclose your names . . ."

Instead of going through the lawyer stuff, may we just tie them up and throw tomatoes at them? I think that might be a great photo op!

[Cyber Liberty]

You flushed me down the toilet??

[TheGrimReaper]

Sooooo.... not gonna hike that skirt up, huh?
}8-|)

[Slip18]

LOL!

[christine]

May 30th
Just moved to El Paso, Texas...Now this is a city that knows how
to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. Mountains
and deserts blend together. What a place! Watched the sunset
from a park lying on a blanket. It was beautiful. I've finally
found my home. I love it here. Welcome to our town:

June 14th:
Really heating up. Got to 100 today. Not a problem. Live in an
air conditioned home, drive an air conditioned car. What a
pleasure to see the sun every day like this. I'm turning into a
real sun worshipper.

June 30th:
Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today. Lots of
cactus and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing for
me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here.

July 10th:
The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week. How do people
get used to this kind of heat? At least it's nice and windy though.
But getting used to it is taking longer than I expected.

July 15th:
Fell asleep by the pool. Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my
body. Missed two days of work, what a dumb thing to do. I learned
my lesson though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like
this.

July 20th:
I missed Morgan (our cat) sneaking into the car when
I left this morning. By the time I got out to the
hot car for lunch, Morgan had swollen up to the size
of a shopping bag and exploded all over $2,000 worth
of leather upholstery. I told the kids she ran
away. The car now smells like Kibbles and Shits!!
No more pets in this heat!!

July 25th:
This wind sucks. It feels like a giant freaking
blow dryer!! And it's hot as hell. The home air conditioner
is on the fritz and AC repairman charged $200 just to drive by
and tell me he needed to order parts.

July 30th:
Been sleeping outside by the pool for three nights now. $1,500 in
damn house payments and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever
come here?

Aug 4th:
It's 115 degrees. Finally got the air conditioner fixed today.
It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to about 90. Stupid
repairman pissed in my pool. I hate this stupid city.

Aug 8th:
If another wise ass cracks, "Hot enough for you today?", I'm going
to tear his throat out. Damn heat. By the time I get to work the
radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell
like roasted freaking Garfield!!

Aug 9th:
Tried to run some errands after work. Wore shorts and sat on the
black leather seat in the ol' car. I thought my ass was on fire.
I lost two layers of flesh. Now my car smells like burnt ass and
fried cat.

Aug 10th:
The weather report might as well be a damn recording: Hot and
sunny. It's been too hot to do shit for two damn months and the
weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Doesn't it
ever rain in this barren desert? Water rationing will be next so
$1,700 worth of cactus just might dry up and blow into the damn
pool. Even a cactus can't live in this heat.

Aug 14:
Welcome to Hell!! Temperature got to 113 today. If I had wanted
to move to Death Valley, I would have moved there instead. Forgot
to crack the window and blew the damned windshield out of the
Lincoln. The installer came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for
you today?" My wife had to spend the $1,500 house payment to
bail me out of jail.

[CholeraJoe]

Only if you're willing to wear and administer the "appliance", dear.

Sean likes it rough (or so Boy George says.)

[christine]

nooo, cyber, lol! :P

[christine]

and new batteries for her "loveunders"

oohh, i just saw this post, master robert! naughty boy! ;)

[Slip18]

xs has her secret weapon: SKITTLES!

[christine]

To become hardened or set in a rigidly conventional pattern.

*blush* instead of *flush* {{{{laughing}}}}}

[RikaStrom]

ROFLOL, I've seen that. There is one for snow too, I just don't know where to find it. (dagnabbit)

[Slip18]

That is so funny, Christine! It's 113 degrees here right now. No kidding. The newspaper interchanges the words "quite" and "very" when using the word "hot."

Supposedly, a monsoon is coming. (A monsoon in AZ?) The monsoon will cool everything down to under 105.

[Slip18]

Is that the story about the folks who move to the mountains and just love the deer, until ---

[Slip18]

I just couldn't help myself with that word!

[WhyisaTexasgirlinPA]

El Paso only gets to 113? Whimps.......lol

Thanks for the flag Christine......I've seen the "snow" version of that one and loved it, but I can really relate to the "burning your legs on the leather" bit! lol

[Robert A Cook PE]

Feldon was definitely my favorite actress at that time....

After Emma Peel.

[MissAmericanPie]

ROFLOL, oh christine....I can't tell you how much I appreciate the laugh. I was hoping to find something funny on FR after a terrible day at work, now I have to turn around and go back to work. This was a great day saver.

[MeekOneGOP]

Clever Blonde

A man was on a flight to New York from LA. He was sitting next to a blonde lady. He decided to have some fun, so he asked the blonde to play a game. The game went like this: he would ask a question, and if she didn't know the answer, she would pay him $10, and vise versa.

The blonde refused, and tried to take a nap, but the man, instead of giving up, said "I'll pay you $100 for every question I don't know, and you can only pay me $10. Okay?" The blonde finally accepted.

The man asked: "Who is the leader of Russia?" The blonde promptly handed him a $10 bill. Then she asked: "What is black and white and runs up hills backwards?" The man pondered on this for a while, then took out his laptop and preceeded to check all his references, email all his friends, and ask the question in chat rooms.

After an hour the man handed the blonde $100, then asked "What was it anyway?" The blonde handed him a $10 bill and chuckled.

---

Or, if you prefer your jokes in Jive, LOL!:

Cleva' Blonde

A joker wuz on some flight t'New Yo'k fum LA. He wuz sittin' next t'a blonde lady. Slap mah fro! He decided t'have some fun, so's he ax'ed da damn blonde t'play some game. De game went likes dis, dig dis: he would ax' some quesshun, and if she dun didn't know de answer, she would pay him $10, an, an' visa-vahsa.

De blonde refused, and tried t'snatch some nap, but da damn man, instead uh givin' down, said "I'll pay ya' $100 fo' every quesshun ah' duzn't know, and ya' kin only pay me $10. Okay?" De blonde finally accepted.

De joker ax'ed, dig dis: "Who be de leada' of Russia?" De blonde promptly handed him some $10 bill. Den she ax'ed, dig dis: "Whut be black and honky and runs down hills backwards?" De joker pondered on dis fo' some while, den took out his laptop and preceeded t'check all his references, email all his homeys, and ax' de quesshun in chat rooms.

Afta' an hour de joker handed da damn blonde $100, den ax'ed "Whut wuz it anyway?" De blonde handed him some $10 bill and chuckled.