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Jury unable to decide if strangling your kids is ok.
The Babylon Bee ^ | 8/31/2026 | Staff

Posted on 09/04/2026 1:15:06 PM PDT by Phoenix8

PLYMOUTH, MA — After several days of deliberation, a jury was unable to ultimately decide whether murder is wrong.

The deep nuances of the case delayed the decision, with jurors facing intricate legal and moral questions such as whether it's fine to methodically strangle your own kids one by one.

"Oof. That was a toughie," said Juror number seven, reviewing the facts of the case. "There was so much to consider, like if luring children down into a basement to murder them is bad. We were really at a loss."

According to anonymous sources, the jury had concluded that squeezing the life out of a puppy while it desperately struggled to breathe was bad, but they were not yet sure if that applied to humans. "We are pretty confident that choking puppies to death is wrong," said an anonymous juror. "If they are your own children, and you're not feeling good, maybe it's okay. We just couldn't decide."

At publishing time, the jury had decided that it was best for America to do this all again in a few months.


TOPICS: Humor; Society
KEYWORDS: abortion; clancy; cultofdeath; deathcult; massmurderingmoms; moloch; postbirthabortion

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To: TornadoAlley3
Sick sick sick! Thanks for posting the link to the story. Unbelievable. Looks more
and more like most women are batsheet crazy. Feminism has destroyed society.

101 posted on 09/04/2026 7:26:01 PM PDT by Governor Dinwiddie ( O give thanks unto the Lord, for He is gracious, and his mercy endures forever. — Psalm 106)
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To: Jamestown1630

Reasonable doubt . But she murdered her kids. There was no reasonable doubt that she was not responsible for her actions. None.


102 posted on 09/04/2026 8:22:28 PM PDT by Keyser Soze 84
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To: Jamestown1630

Are you at all troubled that she put research into how to kill her children?


103 posted on 09/04/2026 8:39:58 PM PDT by Lazamataz (Technology can industrialize evil.)
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To: Governor Dinwiddie

Google news search child murdered

National news hasn’t covered it unless the mother kills multiple children


104 posted on 09/04/2026 10:04:35 PM PDT by TornadoAlley3 ( I'm Proud To Be An Okie From Muskogee)
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To: FreedomPoster

https://www.ibtimes.co.uk/tiktok-witches-justice-spells-lindsay-clancy-trial-1815058


105 posted on 09/04/2026 10:13:51 PM PDT by Keyser Soze 84
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To: Phoenix8

.


106 posted on 09/05/2026 1:00:00 AM PDT by redinIllinois (Pro-life, accountant, gun-totin' Grandma - multi issue vor in)
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To: Phoenix8

.


107 posted on 09/05/2026 1:01:07 AM PDT by redinIllinois (Pro-life, accountant, gun-totin' Grandma - multi issue vor in)
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To: Phoenix8

Yep.


108 posted on 09/05/2026 1:27:37 AM PDT by Merrick (It's a car - that runs on water, man!)
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To: Keyser Soze 84

A recent Democrat member of our county election board was a witch, don’t know if Wiccan or some other brand. Wierd stuff.


109 posted on 09/05/2026 1:36:32 AM PDT by FreedomPoster (Islam delenda est)
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To: Phoenix8

If I was a Juror, I would in absolutely NO WAY, EVER, accept and argument of “Insanity”!! EVER!!


110 posted on 09/05/2026 2:18:32 AM PDT by sit-rep (I may be Dumb, but I'm not Stupid!)
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To: FreedomPoster

“I thought Babylon Bee was a satire site. Did that change?”

The best satire is based in truth - that’s what makes the Bee so good.


111 posted on 09/05/2026 5:10:42 AM PDT by trebb (So many fools - so little time...)
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To: Jamestown1630

“I’m offended when something this tragic is misrepresented.

11 people out of 12 had no problem deciding. One Person refused to follow the judge’s instructions on the law because they thought they knew better how a criminal trial should be decided.”

Those 11 were for acquittal - I believe the “holdout” was the only sane one there.


112 posted on 09/05/2026 5:14:20 AM PDT by trebb (So many fools - so little time...)
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To: caddie
IMG-2259
113 posted on 09/05/2026 5:27:05 AM PDT by Phoenix8
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To: Phoenix8

So horrific. Those poor children. I hope they are somehow able to never remember that event.


114 posted on 09/05/2026 6:22:55 AM PDT by caddie (Going forward we all need to become Trump, and also Captain Obvious, and Charlie Kirk too. )
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To: Jamestown1630
Don't like jurors being hounded from outside the jury room to either acquit or not.

Don't like judges and defense people revealing details of ongoing jury deliberations: That there is one holdout, that he is male, that the nine females and two wimps are poised to acquit.

Then the judge and defense team going on international TV to bash the 'holdout' juror until he caves.

Can you not process that this is a complete perversion of the jury system?

115 posted on 09/05/2026 6:27:46 AM PDT by caddie (Going forward we all need to become Trump, and also Captain Obvious, and Charlie Kirk too. )
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To: caddie

With all this feminist BS and with anti-male “extreme manliness” BS, a guy better not discipline his kids in any way. Women on the other hand can murder their children for any reason.

Aren’t parents supposed to raise their children to be civilized...not MURDER them on a whim of the moment???


116 posted on 09/05/2026 6:44:35 AM PDT by hal ogen (First Amendment or Reeducation Camp?)
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To: hal ogen

https://youtu.be/tUrxwc7HN1g

Dads too, get away with strangling son to death. Society doesn’t believe evil exists.


117 posted on 09/05/2026 7:08:50 AM PDT by TornadoAlley3 ( I'm Proud To Be An Okie From Muskogee)
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To: Lazamataz

People whose minds aren’t functioning properly do all sorts of crazy things. I can easily see someone doing something entirely out of character precisely because their brain chemistry has been played with relentlessly for months.

I have seem how someone can change on some of these drugs.

Maybe we need to review our understanding of consciousness of right and wrong under some circumstances. We developed certain standards before we started creating all sorts of synthetic psychoactive drugs and handing them out so irresponsibly . A person under severe delusion and derangement may be perfectly capable of carrying out a horrible plan and believing they are doing the right and necessary thing.


118 posted on 09/05/2026 8:24:36 AM PDT by Jamestown1630 ("A Republic, if you can keep it.")
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To: Jamestown1630

Are you at all troubled that she put research into how to kill her children?


119 posted on 09/05/2026 10:34:37 AM PDT by Lazamataz (Technology can industrialize evil.)
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To: Lazamataz

Cut it out, Laz. I’m considering the case as a whole, in all of its aspects. You seem to have the simplistic approach of insisting that just one aspect makes this a simple ‘cut and dried’ case; and it’s simply not.


120 posted on 09/05/2026 10:44:23 AM PDT by Jamestown1630 ("A Republic, if you can keep it.")
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