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Lindsay Clancy Surges To Commanding Lead As 2028 Democrat Front-Runner
The Bee ^ | Sep 1, 2026 | The Bee

Posted on 09/02/2026 1:06:08 PM PDT by dayglored

U.S. — New poll numbers released this week showed Lindsay Clancy surging into the frontrunner position in the race to become the 2028 Democratic presidential nominee.

Clancy garnered overwhelming support from Democratic women and continued to make gains among men who hate children and wish they were dead.

"Clancy 2028! Wooo!" shouted supporters outside the courthouse where Clancy was awaiting the verdict on her triple homicide case. "No one gets us better than Lindsay. Who better to fight for women's rights than a woman who stared down the system that wanted to punish her for murdering three children? She is like, so me! We love you, Lindsay!"

Democratic operatives warned that the issue of child murder could complicate Clancy's general election chances, but liberal voters have thus far brushed aside those concerns. "When I hear this sad story of a child being strangled to death, I think, 'Wow, that poor woman strangling her child. She's the victim here,'" explained longtime Democrat Stacy Marks. "Why on earth should someone not vote for Lindsay when she is the one who has been wronged here? That shouldn't keep a beautiful soul like her from serving as our next president."

At publishing time, Clancy's support among liberals had collapsed after revelations surfaced that she had also strangled a puppy.


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; democrats; lindsayclancy; satirs
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To: xp38

“That pic....I see the crazy eyes staring back at me.”

I also see a big fat witch’s nose staring at me.


21 posted on 09/02/2026 1:58:54 PM PDT by pelican001
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To: MayflowerMadam
> I’m always grateful that I never had kids who would be in the thick of whatever is amping up for the country now.

I have a daughter, 33 (Millenial). She's intelligent, capable, high-spirited, has a degree in comp-sci, excellent marksman and knows firearm safety and use, raised with knowledge of Western literature, the Bible, and the Constitution. She knows how to get and hold a good job.

We keep in touch over the internet and phone, and get along great even though we disagree on some important things. She is a true-blue lefty Democrat (her mother, a radical socialist, and I split up when she was eight and they moved far away). So my direct influence was limited after she was in her mid-teens.

OTOH, we can talk about and debate our differences with respect and understanding. That's rare, and wonderful.

So with regard to the future of America, I'm very proud of my daughter and believe she will prevail through whatever is to come. Whether she will, as I did, grow out of youthful misguided idealism and embrace at least libertarian views if not conservative ones, I can't predict. But I do have hope. :-)

22 posted on 09/02/2026 2:07:59 PM PDT by dayglored (This is the day which the LORD hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it. Psalms 118:24)
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To: dayglored

Pretty sure her running mate would be the Virginia AG as he definitely has what it takes to partner with her.


23 posted on 09/02/2026 2:16:06 PM PDT by BK_in Central Texas
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To: Lazamataz

Laz, that’s one hell of a scale. Given those endpoints, I’m not sure I’d want to be anywhere near it.


24 posted on 09/02/2026 2:20:03 PM PDT by dayglored (This is the day which the LORD hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it. Psalms 118:24)
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To: MayflowerMadam

I’ve been grateful I didn’t have children, even though I know it’s a sad thing to be feeling. But I’d be frightened for my grandchildren now, in so many different ways.


25 posted on 09/02/2026 2:24:02 PM PDT by Jamestown1630 ("A Republic, if you can keep it.")
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To: Beowulf9

“What the heck is going on in this country with people just believing any crap on the net?”

Demonic love of post-birth abortion?

“Abortion to 18!” is a slogan that may soon appear in Democrat ads.


26 posted on 09/02/2026 2:27:52 PM PDT by Mr Rogers
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To: Jamestown1630
> I’ve been grateful I didn’t have children, even though I know it’s a sad thing to be feeling. But I’d be frightened for my grandchildren now, in so many different ways.

You might be interested in my comment above #22.

27 posted on 09/02/2026 2:37:27 PM PDT by dayglored (This is the day which the LORD hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it. Psalms 118:24)
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To: Jamestown1630

how can you have grandchildren if you didn’t have any children?


28 posted on 09/02/2026 2:41:14 PM PDT by bankwalker (Feminists, like all Marxists, are ungrateful parasites.)
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To: Beowulf9
> What the heck is going on in this country with people just believing any crap on the net?

The internet/world-wide-web had a pretty good run of about 30 years. It started cooperatively, happily, even joyously, and innocently. Within 5 years it had started to go commercial, which added funding but at a horrific cost of garbage. Within another 5 years social media took off, adding millions of idiots posting pics of their breakfasts.

Within another 10 years it was totally saturated with crap, and I remember thinking, "This has all gone to shit, it's ruined, but at least it can't get much worse."

I was dead wrong. In the last few years, along came AI content, and it got many times worse.

Now you can't believe anything, but people still do. It's a non-ending, ever-expanding, dangerous nightmare, nothing less.

29 posted on 09/02/2026 2:45:56 PM PDT by dayglored (This is the day which the LORD hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it. Psalms 118:24)
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To: dayglored

I have never understood how political differences could alienate parents and kids as we’ve seen reported in recent years. One doesn’t love family members for their political beliefs.

I’m fortunate that my close circle are all pretty much in accord politically. But I did have one friend, not a very close one, who ceased communicating with me routinely when he found out I voted for Trump. (He does, however, very occasionally send an email to needle me when Trump has done something of which he disapproves. It seems very small of him, but it’s water off my back.)


30 posted on 09/02/2026 2:46:48 PM PDT by Jamestown1630 ("A Republic, if you can keep it.")
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To: bankwalker

That’s the point. If I’d had children, at this point I’d have grandchildren - and I’d fear for them.


31 posted on 09/02/2026 2:49:28 PM PDT by Jamestown1630 ("A Republic, if you can keep it.")
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To: Jamestown1630

thanks ... I mis-read ...


32 posted on 09/02/2026 2:56:42 PM PDT by bankwalker (Feminists, like all Marxists, are ungrateful parasites.)
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To: Jamestown1630
> I have never understood how political differences could alienate parents and kids as we’ve seen reported in recent years. One doesn’t love family members for their political beliefs.

When my daughter was young we read together a lot, and we included the Declaration and Bill of Rights, even memorized the BoR enough that the First, Second, Fourth, Fifth, Ninth, and Tenth made it into our conversations readily.

These days we discuss ideas, not the latest political or social kerfluffle. If chat gets topical, she did introduce me to Ground News, which if you haven't checked it out, is worth a look. We both like it.

I expect that we'll avoid the all-too-common intra-family alienation. We love each other too much to let something as transient as politics and the latest social BS tear us apart.

33 posted on 09/02/2026 3:06:54 PM PDT by dayglored (This is the day which the LORD hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it. Psalms 118:24)
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To: dayglored

Another ditto to that. I’m a couple weeks away from 75 myself, and often find myself lamenting the current state of things. I would like to think that America is salvageable, but have no idea how much damage will be inflicted before the turnaround, if one occurs.


34 posted on 09/02/2026 3:15:16 PM PDT by ken in texas
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To: dayglored

I’m very glad for you and your daughter.

My own father didn’t live long enough for us to have deep conversations, and I regret that.


35 posted on 09/02/2026 3:18:56 PM PDT by Jamestown1630 ("A Republic, if you can keep it.")
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To: Sarah Barracuda
Clancy...the thing is her youngest was already 8 months old when she strangled him.

So, what? A woman has a year after a child's birth to claim postpartum-whatever, I'm not responsible?

The definition says:
Postpartum refers to the period immediately following childbirth, typically lasting six to eight weeks, during which a mother undergoes significant physical and emotional changes.

36 posted on 09/02/2026 3:20:01 PM PDT by citizen (Say it with me.....the UK is now UKistan. Short & to the point.)
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To: Jamestown1630

I had a cousin who turned rabidly mean toward me and others in the spring of 2024 when the wheels came off the Joe Biden reelection bus.

Goes from “I love you, man” to “If you ever come up here again, I’ll beat your m-fing azz.”


37 posted on 09/02/2026 3:28:31 PM PDT by citizen (Say it with me.....the UK is now UKistan. Short & to the point.)
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To: citizen

I’m sorry.

I just can’t understand it.


38 posted on 09/02/2026 3:30:31 PM PDT by Jamestown1630 ("A Republic, if you can keep it.")
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To: Jamestown1630
> I’m very glad for you and your daughter. My own father didn’t live long enough for us to have deep conversations, and I regret that.

Thank you, it is a blessing. I'm sorry you and your father didn't have a similar opportunity on Earth, but perhaps God willing you'll have an opportunity after you join him in the afterlife. I can't say for sure what topics are appropriate for such a circumstance, but I'll bet that elections and intersectionality are not among them.

39 posted on 09/02/2026 3:31:05 PM PDT by dayglored (This is the day which the LORD hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it. Psalms 118:24)
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To: dayglored

:-)


40 posted on 09/02/2026 3:31:58 PM PDT by Jamestown1630 ("A Republic, if you can keep it.")
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