Posted on 08/25/2026 3:02:55 PM PDT by Angelino97
Have you found a girlfriend yet, young man? I ask because people are pairing off at the lowest rates in modern history.
While many argue over the causes, everyone—both left and right—agrees on the culprit: men. The internet is awash in articles positing some variation of the title “Where have all the good men gone?”
On the left, one of the most prominent works on this question is the New York Times’ essay “Men, Where Have You Gone? Please Come Back” by Rachel Drucker. Leftists never consider the mess that is the modern dating world—or their role in creating it—and how it might incentivize the “good men” to go their own way.
Consider the #MeToo movement. After watching baseless accusations destroy the lives of countless powerful men, modest guys stopped pursuing women. When the media, divorce courts, and prospective employers decided to #BelieveAllWomen, young males afflicted by nothing worse than shyness backed off, because they didn’t want to become the object of social ridicule or make women uncomfortable. Courtship died.
Certainly, there are bad men out there, but rather than consider them an outlier, the left has encouraged young women to take a negative view of men in general.
While many establishment conservatives frame the issue differently, they agree that the courtship crisis is men’s fault. Fox News darling Tomi Lahren, for example, insists that “the pickings are slim” for young women seeking quality masculine men who have their affairs in order.
Attributing blame to a failure of personal responsibility on the part of men is, however, only a half-truth. Men are leaving dating behind because they no longer believe it’s possible to achieve what their fathers and grandfathers did.
Social conservatives love to blame pornography, but they get cause and effect backward. Porn does not cause men to retreat from dating; modern dating causes men to retreat into porn.
After realizing they were playing a losing game, a good many men stopped dating. They made the calculation that porn was the best they were going to get. You can think that ignoble—I certainly do—but they’ve come by that conclusion honestly. Of course, the same can be said of all the other petty vices our young men use to while away their days—video games, online trolling, doomscrolling, anonymous posting on 4chan, et cetera.
The underemployed online drifter will not square up if he doesn’t think his life is going to materially improve as a result. He thinks that, regardless of his effort, he will likely never meet someone who loves him back. Even if he could, he will likely never have the means to provide for her, or own a house, or raise a family. While not commendable, it is understandable that he throws up his hands and decides he might as well take what pleasure he can.
So, young man, I don’t blame you for checking out. I really don’t. But why is this happening now?
Modernity has taken from men the roadmap to demonstrate excellence. Sexual egalitarianism has set men and women on the same social level. Indeed, as universities and corporations increasingly favor women in admissions and hiring, women may soon be looking down at men on the social hierarchy.
But women are not attracted to men below them or on equal footing; they prefer men above them, as Jordan Peterson has noted. As a result, when the average woman assesses the average man, she finds him to have neither greater earning potential nor higher status, and therefore she finds him lacking.
And yet, modernity happened; women have been liberated, and turning back the clock is neither feasible nor desirable. Women are not giving up the vote or leaving the workplace anytime soon.
So, what then? On a societal level, that’s a good question that better minds than mine have tried and failed to grapple with. Individually, however, there is something I can recommend to every young, unmarried man: Get up!
Sure, the “me too” movement threatens you; both conservatives and progressives blame you for everything; the economy isn’t what it was in the 1950s; all sorts of new obstacles stand in your way. But you can—and should—view these as obstacles to overcome. Sure, your modest income does not elevate you within the social hierarchy and provide the default path to marriage and family that your grandfather had, but you can—and should—make your own path.
You can demonstrate excellence in an art—call it a hobby, if you like. Women have always been drawn to great artists—painters, composers, musicians, sculptors, architects, and craftsmen. Of course, women gravitate to some arts more than others (I find swing dancing to have strong female appeal). Excellence within an art reveals an ability to order things well, which is a necessary quality of leadership—and women seek men who can lead.
A great many men will not “make it.” They will wither away into nothing and might as well have never existed. Will you be one of them? Young man, you know that won’t do.
As Shakespeare says through Benedick in Much Ado About Nothing, “The world must be peopled.” You have a duty to civilization to get up. No, actually, don’t do it for civilization. That puts the cart before the horse. Civilization is the byproduct of men who get up and achieve. Do you aspire to be such a man? Then screw what people think, screw your feelings, your ego, your pride.
Make your own path, pursue excellence, and—for goodness’ sake—go talk to her!
Where are all the good men?
They are at home with their wives and children.
The good women acted like a good woman should and married them.
All that’s left are the leftovers left behind by the good women.
No... Well maybe... or not...
But she's not sure if she's a girl. She's got a vocal fry like she thinks she's a guy. And more tattoos than the sailors down at the docks. And she says things like "bi" and "polyamorous".
And she's not a friend. If anything it would just be my turn.
And several someones found her first because she's got a body count that exceeds some historical battles.
And she has kids from several of them so I'd be like number 7 or 8 on her priority list.
But that's who I keep finding.
If a dude cannot find a girl to date, it is his fault, not the fault of a specific girl, women in general or society.
Great advice. You sound like you have a wonderful marriage. So did I, until she passed. I still feel like I’m married to her and follow her advice . . . because I still feel like she is watching over me.
Marry? She's not wasting time with that.
And for "demanding" the best prospects - she's rejected that outright, collecting kids from Pookie and Ray Ray, who are such good prospects they've been scattering their children all over town like bird seed.
It all started with “The Pill”, totally changed the dynamic.
Yeah... half of the world's billionaires are divorced.
And guys like Tom Brady went to a good school and got a good job. And his wife still divorced him.
It's not that men don't want to get married - it's that they don't want to get divorced.
Any young man now he wants to date just needs to watch 20 minutes of tiktok videos made by young women.
Leading with your wallet has been shown to be a recipe for absolute disaster.
And why pay anything for what she gives up to Pookie and Ray Ray for nothing at all?
That is horrific advice that simps give to other simps.
The simpademic is a large part of the reason where in this situation.
Or they claim they have standards in order to explain away why they're single.
Because once they take off their makeup and turn off the filters, they look in the mirror and don't like what they see. They don't want to date at their level.
Apparently, according to my son, he only knows of a very few of his generation that even date. They are in what they call “sitiutionships” or something like that. So, it’s not just him in this boat, it’s most of them. Basically polygamy I think, not sure. He’s very religious so he is not up for that.
And that "lesser" man has learned to have nothing to do with her because he knows she resents him and will cheat on him whenever she can. If he dares complain, she'll divorce him and take his money and his children away.
Like it or not, a date usually involves a meal and maybe a movie. Add in a car, at least in middle America. That all costs money. Just a fact of life.
Arguably he's had nothing but luck by dodging bullets with those women. Those women don't care about any of that - the GPA, finance, economics, who he worked for, and what awards he has.
They'd pursue him if he had tattoos and had served time in prison.
My son is 6 ft.
He makes 6 figures.
The women? They are sharks.
He has given up. And all he wants is a wife and family.
He could have supplied the wife with a beautiful home. Household help. Childcare help. Vacations fun
But the women seriously dated were feral. Including that unicorn. The good Christian woman.
Why?
Social conservatives (including Christian pastors) love to blame MEN for such women. The "problem" is there are no REAL MEN who'll MAN UP and WIFE UP that poor abused single mother.
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