Posted on 08/25/2026 3:02:55 PM PDT by Angelino97
Have you found a girlfriend yet, young man? I ask because people are pairing off at the lowest rates in modern history.
While many argue over the causes, everyone—both left and right—agrees on the culprit: men. The internet is awash in articles positing some variation of the title “Where have all the good men gone?”
On the left, one of the most prominent works on this question is the New York Times’ essay “Men, Where Have You Gone? Please Come Back” by Rachel Drucker. Leftists never consider the mess that is the modern dating world—or their role in creating it—and how it might incentivize the “good men” to go their own way.
Consider the #MeToo movement. After watching baseless accusations destroy the lives of countless powerful men, modest guys stopped pursuing women. When the media, divorce courts, and prospective employers decided to #BelieveAllWomen, young males afflicted by nothing worse than shyness backed off, because they didn’t want to become the object of social ridicule or make women uncomfortable. Courtship died.
Certainly, there are bad men out there, but rather than consider them an outlier, the left has encouraged young women to take a negative view of men in general.
While many establishment conservatives frame the issue differently, they agree that the courtship crisis is men’s fault. Fox News darling Tomi Lahren, for example, insists that “the pickings are slim” for young women seeking quality masculine men who have their affairs in order.
Attributing blame to a failure of personal responsibility on the part of men is, however, only a half-truth. Men are leaving dating behind because they no longer believe it’s possible to achieve what their fathers and grandfathers did.
Social conservatives love to blame pornography, but they get cause and effect backward. Porn does not cause men to retreat from dating; modern dating causes men to retreat into porn.
After realizing they were playing a losing game, a good many men stopped dating. They made the calculation that porn was the best they were going to get. You can think that ignoble—I certainly do—but they’ve come by that conclusion honestly. Of course, the same can be said of all the other petty vices our young men use to while away their days—video games, online trolling, doomscrolling, anonymous posting on 4chan, et cetera.
The underemployed online drifter will not square up if he doesn’t think his life is going to materially improve as a result. He thinks that, regardless of his effort, he will likely never meet someone who loves him back. Even if he could, he will likely never have the means to provide for her, or own a house, or raise a family. While not commendable, it is understandable that he throws up his hands and decides he might as well take what pleasure he can.
So, young man, I don’t blame you for checking out. I really don’t. But why is this happening now?
Modernity has taken from men the roadmap to demonstrate excellence. Sexual egalitarianism has set men and women on the same social level. Indeed, as universities and corporations increasingly favor women in admissions and hiring, women may soon be looking down at men on the social hierarchy.
But women are not attracted to men below them or on equal footing; they prefer men above them, as Jordan Peterson has noted. As a result, when the average woman assesses the average man, she finds him to have neither greater earning potential nor higher status, and therefore she finds him lacking.
And yet, modernity happened; women have been liberated, and turning back the clock is neither feasible nor desirable. Women are not giving up the vote or leaving the workplace anytime soon.
So, what then? On a societal level, that’s a good question that better minds than mine have tried and failed to grapple with. Individually, however, there is something I can recommend to every young, unmarried man: Get up!
Sure, the “me too” movement threatens you; both conservatives and progressives blame you for everything; the economy isn’t what it was in the 1950s; all sorts of new obstacles stand in your way. But you can—and should—view these as obstacles to overcome. Sure, your modest income does not elevate you within the social hierarchy and provide the default path to marriage and family that your grandfather had, but you can—and should—make your own path.
You can demonstrate excellence in an art—call it a hobby, if you like. Women have always been drawn to great artists—painters, composers, musicians, sculptors, architects, and craftsmen. Of course, women gravitate to some arts more than others (I find swing dancing to have strong female appeal). Excellence within an art reveals an ability to order things well, which is a necessary quality of leadership—and women seek men who can lead.
A great many men will not “make it.” They will wither away into nothing and might as well have never existed. Will you be one of them? Young man, you know that won’t do.
As Shakespeare says through Benedick in Much Ado About Nothing, “The world must be peopled.” You have a duty to civilization to get up. No, actually, don’t do it for civilization. That puts the cart before the horse. Civilization is the byproduct of men who get up and achieve. Do you aspire to be such a man? Then screw what people think, screw your feelings, your ego, your pride.
Make your own path, pursue excellence, and—for goodness’ sake—go talk to her!
Yes, I think you’re wrong. There are plenty of women here - often you don’t even know they are women; and I think the really bitter men here are not all ‘old’ men, more like middle aged.
A lot of the complainers have been burned, and/or don’t have the sort of nature that attracts women. But that’s their problem - no woman wants to hang out with a gloomy, miserable man who is always complaining and tearing down her sex.
It's the conservative women your son needs to be wary of.
Leftist women carry red flags.
Conservative women appear safe, but that ain't necessarily so.
The feminism culture of entitlement has basically become a universal principle amongst women.
Feminism didn't create female resentment of men. It's been observed for, not centuries, but millennia.
All modern feminism did was pour gasoline on that spark. Feminism made female adultery, divorce, abortion, immodesty, and overall slutty behavior, socially acceptable.
Christian patriarchy (a good thing) shamed women into behaving well. Feminism removed the shame, and turned sinful behavior into cause for celebration and pride.
The Government bonding Thistle in full bloom. 🧱
“Does she have a sister?”
Lots. Well over 200 years combined marriage, 2 are now widows, the rest still married.
There's a famous Chris Rock routine which mentions that exact issue.
Oh well. Maybe a niece? Lol
,,, things can start out OK but over time you realize you’ve married a smart phone that’s welded to your wife’s hand. Loneliness becomes the only sure thing for some guys.
If he’s just interested in a girlfriend or a pump and dump, just be an ass to them. They went for those types forever.
I wanted to find a girlfriend but my wife won’t let me.
I met my wife of 35 years in a dive bar when I was a poor GI. I married way up.
Plenty of former Feminists disagree and freely admit that they were taught to hate men, and taught others as well.
Yeah, Marry a damn gold digger so she can screw some other dude and make off with half your assets.
I do not encourage anyone to marry, and given the chance, I would not do so again, or do it the first time.
Christian patriarchy existed because life was tough back in the day and it was necessary for survival.
Now it is no longer necessary because we are too comfortable.
90% of Christian pastors are woke. They're enablers, unfortunately despite that they mean well.
Plenty of former Feminists disagree and freely admit that they were taught to hate men, and taught others as well.
Proverbs 25:24
It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a contentious wife.
My ex of 16 years was chronically underemployed and had developed a rather severe drinking problem. Our physical relationship was nonexistant and the last two years of our relationship he’d cashed in his 401k and stopped working. I couldn’t persuade him to right his life for himself, so definitely not for me.
I met my current soon-to-be husband playing video games. I killed him in a free-for-all match when Nuclear Winter existed in Fallout 76, so when we got put in a team together, he invited me to a chat and we hit it off as fast friends. I actually know quite a few people who met their significant others gaming. It’s a very social hobby if you play the right things that require teamwork.
We live together and are squirreling away as much money as possible so that we may leave the blue stain that is Illinois and flee to West Virginia. He’s schooling at SDI for gunsmithing and drone tech, and I’m trying to become an EMT to bridge into nursing. He’s highly motivated and very much wants to be a provider, and I want to put in wherever I can.
-raises hand-
Female. 39 years old. Right-leaning Libertarian.
I understand why men complain about women. Being one, I know well that we are emotional creatures. It takes a lot of self-control to know that your emotions are about to get the best of you and to prevent that from happening. Female hormones are a beast. Like when women are pregnant, they fluctuate during their cycle, and it’s difficult to control. I’d always been a tomboy and was sterilized young, so I don’t have the same hormonal issues as my peers. I’ve always been pretty level-headed and stubborn.
It’s why most of my friends are men. Women tend to hold a grudge, and I only have a few lady friends who are like-minded to me and who don’t get all catty and back-stabby.
My boss found his wife in Poland. They’ve been married about 15 years and have 3 kids. She’s quite traditional, and they’re happy, as far as I know.
I’m figuring women have always been that way: drawn to strong, confident men or bad bois. But we used to have a society that moderated the behavior: women had less access to jobs that made a lot of money, and men and women both were expected to have fidelity to each other. Plus, most men back then WERE stronger and more confident, so that evened things up some.
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