Posted on 08/25/2026 3:02:55 PM PDT by Angelino97
Have you found a girlfriend yet, young man? I ask because people are pairing off at the lowest rates in modern history.
While many argue over the causes, everyone—both left and right—agrees on the culprit: men. The internet is awash in articles positing some variation of the title “Where have all the good men gone?”
On the left, one of the most prominent works on this question is the New York Times’ essay “Men, Where Have You Gone? Please Come Back” by Rachel Drucker. Leftists never consider the mess that is the modern dating world—or their role in creating it—and how it might incentivize the “good men” to go their own way.
Consider the #MeToo movement. After watching baseless accusations destroy the lives of countless powerful men, modest guys stopped pursuing women. When the media, divorce courts, and prospective employers decided to #BelieveAllWomen, young males afflicted by nothing worse than shyness backed off, because they didn’t want to become the object of social ridicule or make women uncomfortable. Courtship died.
Certainly, there are bad men out there, but rather than consider them an outlier, the left has encouraged young women to take a negative view of men in general.
While many establishment conservatives frame the issue differently, they agree that the courtship crisis is men’s fault. Fox News darling Tomi Lahren, for example, insists that “the pickings are slim” for young women seeking quality masculine men who have their affairs in order.
Attributing blame to a failure of personal responsibility on the part of men is, however, only a half-truth. Men are leaving dating behind because they no longer believe it’s possible to achieve what their fathers and grandfathers did.
Social conservatives love to blame pornography, but they get cause and effect backward. Porn does not cause men to retreat from dating; modern dating causes men to retreat into porn.
After realizing they were playing a losing game, a good many men stopped dating. They made the calculation that porn was the best they were going to get. You can think that ignoble—I certainly do—but they’ve come by that conclusion honestly. Of course, the same can be said of all the other petty vices our young men use to while away their days—video games, online trolling, doomscrolling, anonymous posting on 4chan, et cetera.
The underemployed online drifter will not square up if he doesn’t think his life is going to materially improve as a result. He thinks that, regardless of his effort, he will likely never meet someone who loves him back. Even if he could, he will likely never have the means to provide for her, or own a house, or raise a family. While not commendable, it is understandable that he throws up his hands and decides he might as well take what pleasure he can.
So, young man, I don’t blame you for checking out. I really don’t. But why is this happening now?
Modernity has taken from men the roadmap to demonstrate excellence. Sexual egalitarianism has set men and women on the same social level. Indeed, as universities and corporations increasingly favor women in admissions and hiring, women may soon be looking down at men on the social hierarchy.
But women are not attracted to men below them or on equal footing; they prefer men above them, as Jordan Peterson has noted. As a result, when the average woman assesses the average man, she finds him to have neither greater earning potential nor higher status, and therefore she finds him lacking.
And yet, modernity happened; women have been liberated, and turning back the clock is neither feasible nor desirable. Women are not giving up the vote or leaving the workplace anytime soon.
So, what then? On a societal level, that’s a good question that better minds than mine have tried and failed to grapple with. Individually, however, there is something I can recommend to every young, unmarried man: Get up!
Sure, the “me too” movement threatens you; both conservatives and progressives blame you for everything; the economy isn’t what it was in the 1950s; all sorts of new obstacles stand in your way. But you can—and should—view these as obstacles to overcome. Sure, your modest income does not elevate you within the social hierarchy and provide the default path to marriage and family that your grandfather had, but you can—and should—make your own path.
You can demonstrate excellence in an art—call it a hobby, if you like. Women have always been drawn to great artists—painters, composers, musicians, sculptors, architects, and craftsmen. Of course, women gravitate to some arts more than others (I find swing dancing to have strong female appeal). Excellence within an art reveals an ability to order things well, which is a necessary quality of leadership—and women seek men who can lead.
A great many men will not “make it.” They will wither away into nothing and might as well have never existed. Will you be one of them? Young man, you know that won’t do.
As Shakespeare says through Benedick in Much Ado About Nothing, “The world must be peopled.” You have a duty to civilization to get up. No, actually, don’t do it for civilization. That puts the cart before the horse. Civilization is the byproduct of men who get up and achieve. Do you aspire to be such a man? Then screw what people think, screw your feelings, your ego, your pride.
Make your own path, pursue excellence, and—for goodness’ sake—go talk to her!
The left did not teach women to hate men. Enough girls had a front row seat to the lives of their mothers and in response chose to get an education and a job so that they are not compelled to trade services for support.
And if women were trading services for support and now they are unwilling, that tells us something about the quality of those idealized unions of yesteryear.
“Free Republic seems to consist of more bitter, negative men than I’ve seen anywhere else on the Internet.”
No kidding. Because all of THEM are perfect, right?
There are lots of decent, intelligent and grounded men here.
But some others are wallowing in self-pity and they just can’t seem to let go of it.
“Free Republic seems to consist of more bitter, negative men than I’ve seen anywhere else on the Internet.”
Spot on. I am amazed as the consistent display of contempt for women on FR.
Marriage is a real shaky dice roll these days. Much harder to keep one going then it used to be.
I meant to say that it is no guarantee. The point of that is to say that you can make all the right choices that a man can make as to whom his wife should be in order to find a godly wife to be married for a lifetime like our parents and grandparents. But the hypergamic desires in women have been magnified by the culture, that it is impossible to do that anymore. Women are protected for acting badly and men have no protection from bad women. Not even a reasonable pre-nup can be considered good protection anymore.
Crowder is an example of a man who took all reasonable steps to find a good wife and he still failed.
Im on a phone, so I tend to make more mistakes when I use my phobe.
You answered your own question.
And it's not men complaining. It's telling the truth, but to women, anything they don't want to hear is a complaint, misogyny, or both.
Look at all the defense of the psycho lady that just killed her kids. Obviously, none of the good women here on FR are defending that nut job, but a lot of women are. For the ladies, much if not all that we men say on here likely applies to you or your children. But, the facts are that there are just a lot more liberal leftwing women out there than are conservative... and in my son’s age group... most of them are left wing.
does not apply I mean.
Fortunately, your little, subjective ‘truth’ isn’t the truth of most of the men here.
The way they talk about women, why do they think any normal woman would want anything to do with them???
Ah, yes, the "Bandwagon Fallacy", Argumentum ad Populum.
And calling it "subjective" and "little" is just denial. You're even denying the article this whole post is about. Do you really think the author wrote this article and the New York Times posted it for no reason?
It has been noted that many Conservative women have adopted the feminist rhetoric that women ‘deserve’. They may be conservative on many points, but challenge them on the idea that they need to earn marriage and its benefits, just like men have to earn marriage and its benefits for them, and you’ll have their hackles up.
Being red-pilled simply means understanding how women work. It isn’t synonymous with being bitter in itself, although, there is no doubt that some men have become bitter with how they get treated.
I tell the young fellas I work with,
Go to the bar and find a woman that hates you.
Buy her a house.
Give her half you check for the next 20 years.
I just saved you from lots of heartache and lawyer fees.
Very good. It is satirical, but good satire is based in truth.
I have suggested vto my son that he have a baby via a surrogate. He won’t though. Doesn’t want a child on day care. He wants his children brought up the way he was with a mom at home and homeschooled.
Where did you go? Does she have a sister?
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