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8 Shocking Things Artemis II Found On The Far Side Of The Moon
The Bee ^ | Apr 7, 2026 | The Bee

Posted on 04/08/2026 9:53:14 AM PDT by dayglored

The dark side of the moon has long been the subject of myth and speculation. What mysteries lie beyond the known lunar surface in that dark realm beyond our telescopes?

Now, The Babylon Bee can reveal what the crew of the Artemis II mission discovered on the other side of the moon:

  1. Rocks: Lots and lots of rocks.

  2. A Starbucks: Man, they really are everywhere.

  3. 1,000,000,000 Mylar birthday balloons: So that's where they all end up.

  4. A Somali daycare: The owner says it has a huge client base and is totally legit.

  5. A Shohei Ohtani home run ball: Not even Earth's atmosphere can contain his power.

  6. Several boxes labeled "Epstein Files": Someone must have been trying really hard to keep these from being found.

  7. Amelia Earhart: Always the last place you'd think to look.

  8. The Chinese moon base that's been there for years: Ope! Sorry, didn't know anyone was already here.

What an incredible treasure trove of amazing artifacts. What else did you expect them to find?


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; brokentoilet; moon; satire
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Alice Kramden!!
1 posted on 04/08/2026 9:53:14 AM PDT by dayglored
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To: dayglored

In before the “It’s not a ‘dark side”, it’s a ‘far side’” comments.


2 posted on 04/08/2026 9:54:17 AM PDT by dayglored (This is the day which the LORD hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it. Psalms 118:24)
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To: dayglored

10. Pink Floyd.


3 posted on 04/08/2026 9:56:02 AM PDT by left that other site ( For the Lord is our judge, the Lord is our lawgiver, the Lord is our king; He will save us Is.33:22)
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To: dayglored

Jimmy Hoffa


4 posted on 04/08/2026 9:56:23 AM PDT by BullwinkleMoose
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To: dayglored
Obambi's birth certificate parents were hitler and the Wookie
5 posted on 04/08/2026 9:58:02 AM PDT by spokeshave ( Angry Dads. Grumpy Grandads, Curmudgeons & old Geezers)
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To: BullwinkleMoose

I knew it was satire because it didn’t say a Dollar General was on every block.


6 posted on 04/08/2026 9:59:02 AM PDT by Tell It Right (1 Thessalonians 5:21 -- Put everything to the test, hold fast to that which is true.)
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To: dayglored

Gary Larson!!


7 posted on 04/08/2026 10:05:23 AM PDT by dayglored (This is the day which the LORD hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it. Psalms 118:24)
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To: dayglored

Beat me to it. We’re getting old.


8 posted on 04/08/2026 10:06:34 AM PDT by stevio (Fight until you die!)
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To: stevio
> We’re getting old.

Yeah, I almost added something to the effect of "If you get this you're old." :-)

9 posted on 04/08/2026 10:07:46 AM PDT by dayglored (This is the day which the LORD hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it. Psalms 118:24)
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To: left that other site

C/O The Funny Farm, Chelford.


10 posted on 04/08/2026 10:09:13 AM PDT by Olog-hai ("No Republican, no matter how liberal, is going to woo a Democratic vote." -- Ronald Reagan, 1960)
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To: left that other site

Only if the dam breaks open many years too soon.


11 posted on 04/08/2026 10:09:41 AM PDT by central_va (I won't be reconstructed and I do not give a damn)
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To: dayglored

Nazi uboat base


12 posted on 04/08/2026 10:09:58 AM PDT by blitz128
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To: left that other site

Sorry; Chalfont.


13 posted on 04/08/2026 10:10:27 AM PDT by Olog-hai ("No Republican, no matter how liberal, is going to woo a Democratic vote." -- Ronald Reagan, 1960)
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To: dayglored

LOL!


14 posted on 04/08/2026 10:10:58 AM PDT by PGalt (Past Peak Civilization?)
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To: dayglored

Obama’s long form birth certificate ?


15 posted on 04/08/2026 10:11:48 AM PDT by SecondAmendment (Political insight on loan from Rush Limbaugh)
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To: dayglored

It’s all good.


16 posted on 04/08/2026 10:12:32 AM PDT by stevio (Fight until you die!)
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To: dayglored

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=L_jgIezosVA


17 posted on 04/08/2026 10:13:54 AM PDT by PGalt (Past Peak Civilization?)
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To: Olog-hai

ASSteroids? 😁


18 posted on 04/08/2026 10:14:04 AM PDT by left that other site ( For the Lord is our judge, the Lord is our lawgiver, the Lord is our king; He will save us Is.33:22)
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To: dayglored

I’m pretty sure that they found a Bucees, a 7-11, Dollar General, a Mickey Ds,and a Waffle House, too!


19 posted on 04/08/2026 10:14:24 AM PDT by Tom Tetroxide (Psalm 146:3 "Do not trust in princes, in the Son of Man, who has no salvation.")
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To: Tell It Right

A billboard for Buc-ee’s-238,855 Miles Ahead.


20 posted on 04/08/2026 10:15:18 AM PDT by kaktuskid
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